Going for the Gold: Part III

I can has all three at once?

Ricky Berens, Ryan Lochte and Michael Phelps. 

Go USA, indeed...

It's official, I love the Olympics...

New toy! New toy!

Because running on the treadmill has caused me to nearly kill my iPod and nearly kill myself with my iPod, I opted to buy an iPod shuffle. Frankly, I think it's kind of awesome. So awesome, in fact, that I've spent the entire evening since returning from the mall clipping it to various parts of my t-shirt and jeans. 

This just in: I am a massive tool.

Going for the Gold: Part II

Oh my. I'll, uh, be in my room...

Going for the Gold

Are the Olympics making anyone else feel lazy and underachieving? I mean, I feel lazy and underachieving on a daily basis, but this really seems to exacerbate the issue.

On the flip side, they're also, um, making me incredibly horny. What can I say, I dig the boys in the pool. And how could you not, after that performance that Michael Phelps and company put on to win the 4x100 free relay last night? Now if you'll excuse me, NBCOlympics.com has put up a gallery of delectable swimmer abs and... I think I need some time to myself.

The Moose gets no respect from FOX

The less said about the Yankees' last two games about the Angels, the better. But I have to mention this:

If you frequent Yankees.com/MLB.com, you may have seen that fans voted Mike Mussina the Clutch Player* for the month of July. It's nice that Moose is getting recognized for having a great season when he was thought to be done at this time last year. Let's not forget that many people surmised that he would be booted out of the rotation for the eventual rise of Joba Chamberlain the starter.

FOX broadcaster Thom Brenneman was absolutely disgusted with this. "I guess a lot of Yankee fans voted," he remarked disparagingly during the Yankees/Angels game, as he brought up CC Sabathia's stats and dissed the baseball-loving public for voting for Moose instead of CC.

Look, I get it. Neither FOX nor ESPN has any respect for the Yankees, because every saga needs a villain. But at a time when the Yankees have been desperate for good pitching, Mussina has stepped up and filled that need. If that's not clutch, I don't know what is. And come on, dude, give it up. It's a silly little award voted on by fans. CC Sabathia is likely going to get a HUUUUGE free agent payday come this offseason, so I think it'll be a pretty good consolation prize for losing the July Clutch Player of the Month award.

And come on. Give the Moose (who's also pretty funny) some props. He deserves it.

*I refuse to mention the sponsorship inherent in the name of this award.

Xtina hearts the X-Man

I really can't handle this right now, so instead let's talk about what a great acquisition Xavier Nady has been for the Yanks.

 

I was at the game on Sunday and he put on quite the show - going 4 for 5 including a home run with 6 RBI. Since becoming a Yankee, he's batting .382 with 7 extra base hits. As I type, YES is replaying his beauty of a diving catch from the bottom of the 6th in tonight's game. And because it can't be ignored: he looks fiiiine in pinstripes.

So kudos, Brian Cashman. It's still too early to say but this one has the potential to be up there with the David Justice and Bobby Abreu midseason acquisitions.

I'll take creative answers for $200, Alex

The category on Jeopardy: Black & White

My sister, before seeing any of the answers: "Oooh! What is Derek Jeter!"

*smacks forehead*

Joba leaves with stiff right shoulder/Yankees.com

Oh fuck me.

Maybe Phil Hughes will ride in from Scranton on a big ass horse (a la Wade Boggs) and be our knight in shining armor. Maybe he'll bring Shelley "Team Cheerleader" Duncan with him... 

Requiem For the 'Stache

Yes, I'm sad to say the 'Stache is no more. In a way, I feel honored to have seen its last game in person.

  

Picture taken yesterday by yours truly.

The 'Stache was 0-3 with 2 walks.

So tonight we celebrate the 'Stache. Pour out a little Jack Daniels in its honor. And look forward to the future. The 'stache-less era has gotten off to a great start - in his two ABs so far in tonight's game, Giambi has an RBI single and a solo homer. 

And all is not lost: one mustache dies, and another is born. Michael Phelps, you rock.

Movies you should not pay for

You may think that Will Arnett can't sink any lower than Let's Go to Prison. You'd be wrong. Exhibit A: The Brothers Solomon. Thank goodness he parlayed the excellence that was G.O.B. Bluth into a primo reoccurring guest spot on current greatest comedy on TV 30 Rock...

Dear Mr. Ramirez,

Adios mofo! We will not miss you "being Manny," except when it means you go up to bat against Mariano Rivera and decide not to take the bat off your shoulder. Also, we find it super ironic that once again, you are going to be Joe Torre's headache.

Enjoy LA.

Kindest Regards,

The New York Yankees and their fans

P.S. Mike Mussina wants to know where to send the thank you note.

Take that shift and shove it...

As a Yankees fan, I'll admit to having a rocky relationship with Jason Giambi, who has been with the team since 2002. He replaced Tino Martinez, then there was that whole steroids mess, then he just kind of sucked and always looked greasy. But in this season, a contract year for him, I confess that he's been one of my favorite parts of watching the Yanks (along with Moose's improbably successful season and the rise of Joba the Starter). There's the 'stache, of course, and then there's this little number from last night. 

The scene: Giambi has a base hit stolen away by the shift. In his next at bat, well, let's go to the tape:

Heh heh.

Bonus (for when the non-fun-loving bigwigs at MLB inevitably take down Giambi's little gesture):

The 'Stache talks about... the 'Stache

Oh Jason... it is ALL '70s porn star.

Tramps like us...

A-frickin'-mazing show by Bruce and the E Streeters tonight. 

But for now, exhaustion. And disappointment at Moose's inability to to hold his former team in check for the 2nd time this season (albeit disappointment tempered by the Rays and Red Sox also losing... although that should be even more disappointing because it means we could have picked up a game on each if we won... oh fuck it, I'm going to bed). 

Come on!

The national sports media has such a hard on for Yankees/Red Sox series that every time one comes around, the games get snatched up by Fox and ESPN. Which means that today's game is the Sunday Night Baseball game, which means it's on at the same time as the season premiere of Mad Men.

Not cool.

Ladies love Bats too!

One of the best parts of Friday afternoons has always been reading a just-arrived Entertainment Weekly. This week's issue featured a cover story on The Dark Knight, fairly unremarkable until I got to this passage:

Despite all of the records being shattered, perhaps the biggest revelation about The Dark Knight's opening weekend was who was sitting in the audience... A reported 48 percent of The Dark Knight's audience was female, and that number probably would have been even higher had so many women not flocked to Mamma Mia!

Whether they were drawn by the rubberneck curiosity surrounding Ledger's last fully realized performance or simply felt that this comic-book movie had something to say to them, too, The Dark Knight's audience represents a huge demographic shift for studio marketers to wrap their heads around.

As a female moviegoer who had The Dark Knight's release date marked on her calendar for some time (although considering the fact that it coincided with my birthday, it was pretty hard to forget), I'm kind of offended, not to mention confused, by these comments. 

To review: people out there think that a movie starring Christian Bale, sex object since the days of Newsies* (oh come on, he was 18 then!), Aaron Eckhart, who emerged as a smart woman's sex symbol in Thank You For Smoking, and Heath Ledger, who stole every teen girl's heart in 10 Things I Hate About You, isn't going to attract female viewers?

And this is Batman we're talking about here. He's not some obscure superhero from the 70s resurrected from the DC Comics vaults in the hopes of squeezing out a few more dollars from the comic book cash cow. He's a part of American culture and mythology.

The writer of this article - a dude, of course - surmises that women either went to see the movie because of all the hype surrounding Heath Ledger's death or because they thought it might "[have] something to say to them too." I'm not exactly sure what that latter reason means, but why can't a girl go see this movie because she, too, wants to go see a big ol' summer blockbuster? Are blockbusters not so because EVERYONE goes to see them? Last time I checked, women were included in "everyone." And it's not like this was a shitty summer blockbuster like Armageddon or Transformers. There's Oscar buzz for this movie and quality films appeal to people regardless of gender. No debate necessary.

Maybe my point of view is so hopelessly skewed when it comes to film that I'm talking out of my ass here, arguing for naut. But I don't think that's the case. Come on, Hollywood. Women love movies just as much as men. Stop acting shocked when we show up to see them.

*I admit I have an ironic appreciation for Newsies whereas everyone else my age seems to embrace it sincerely. But it's an appreciation nonetheless, right?

A social conscience gets me hot and bothered

Hot, talented, and he saves kitties. Lordy. Although, admittedly, the 0-12 in the series against the Mets is kind of a ladyboner-killer.

In more substantive news, thoughts on The Dark Knight and its monster opening weekend and The X-Files: I Want to Believe later. 

Time to build a bomb shelter...

This just in from the signs of the apocalypse department:

1. MTV is remaking The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

This is so bizarre that I really don't know how to respond. Except with concern that the powers that be at the channel that ruined music might cast Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson as Brad and Janet. I shudder at the thought.

Although, I confess, I'd kind of like to see Jack Black play Eddie.

2. A Boston Globe columnist advocates the abolition of the "Yankees Suck" chant.

But I am a Red Sox fan, have been all my life, and so that means I don't like the Yankees. My two sons don't like the Yankees either. But here's the critical difference: I respect the Yankees, and I've taught my sons to do so, too. They are 14 and 11, love baseball, and know that Derek Jeter plays the game as well and as hard as anyone has. If I were picking sides in the schoolyard, Jeter is the guy I'd pick first.

Whoa. Logic and civility coming out of Boston. That did not happen in the 4 years I spent there...

Dear BigTimeBats.com...

Please stop making weird Yankee Stadium final season collectibles and advertising them on YES. It's a long season and I don't want to buy any of your weird collectibles. 

Also, if we could additionally do away with the Fox News commercials on YES, we'd be golden. However, all that would leave us with is the MHR Hair Restoration system...

Ah, the perils of the regional sports network.

Birthday Weekend = Epic Win

To review:

The Yankees sweep the A's (while the Red Sox get swept by the Angels) and I'm in attendance Friday night (that would be my birthday) to see the Moose pick up career victory number 262, a warm but enjoyable Saturday night on Broadway, and Sunday afternoon at the movies for the mind-blowing experience that is The Dark Knight.

Awesome. 

Extra bonus awesome: Picking up the Hold Steady's new album. If you're a Bruce fan, you owe it to yourself to check out these guys.

1 2 3 4

Somehow, through it all, Sesame Street has remained the coolest show on TV. Proof?

Yes, that's Feist. This show gets better musical guests than Jay Leno. [insert rim shot here]

Awkward Joba Part 2: Not Awkward

Awwww. He cleans up so nice. And doesn't look awkward. And might even get the 'swoon-worthy' tag...

Joba at the All-Star Week Club 33 Party

Awkward Joba Chamberlain is Selling Me Coffee

Ricky Gervais is one of my comedy heroes. That being said, I feel a bit guilty that I've spent the last 6 months pouting about the fact that of the three shows he was doing in NYC, I managed to buy tickets to the only one that was the same day as the MLB All-Star Game. Apparently, I was deluded enough to think that I had a chance to get tickets to said game (which, now in the 13th inning, appears to be somewhat of a bust).

Anyway, Gervais was hilarious, brilliant, and a whole mess of other superlative adjectives. I can't really get into it now as I am needing sleep, but I have to share this. I had some time between the end of the show and my train home, so I found a Dunkin' Donuts and got an iced coffee. There, staring at me from the window of said Dunks (TM Nikki), was one Joba Chamberlain, in quite possibly one of the more awkward photos I've seen of him. So I started laughing uncontrollably (you know, it's not like I had spent the previous two hours laughing or anything) and said to my mom, "Oh look, awkward Joba Chamberlain is trying to sell me coffee." And this story is pretty lame. I think there was more to it at one point but alas... 

Derby, Part Deux

So... Justin Morneau? That's a bit shocking, considering the superhuman first round (and human interest story) Josh Hamilton had. Morneau looked like he almost felt guilty for winning. My boy Chase didn't make it past the first round but he still looked pretty good, so I guess it all evens out. Also, I think his f-bomb caught on national TV makes me love him more.

As excited as I am to see Ricky Gervais tomorrow night, I'm still a bit bummed to be missing the All-Star Game.

Back - back - back - GONE!

It's just about Home Run Derby time, which I'll be watching from the comfort of my couch rather than Yankee Stadium because, again, broke. Since the 'Stache decided not to participate,* I'm pulling for Chase Utley. If his sheer awesomeness doesn't make the ball jump off the bat and into the stands, the short porch in right field and the fact that he's a lefty might help. 

That being said, if Chase does manage to work his awesome in such a way, does that make him the Chuck Norris of baseball? 

*He was offered a spot but declined since he didn't make the All Star Team, and I can't say I blame him.

Take me out to the ballgame?

Does anyone have pity on a Yankees fan who can't afford StubHub prices and want to send her and her bestest best pal to the game on her birthday (7/18)? Or baring outright charity, a willingness to sell her seats at or near face value?

That's all I got. Yeah it's desperate but when the game's sold out and bleacher seats are starting at $50, what's a girl to do?

ETA: Goddammit! The Moose is pitching on my birthday and I still have no tickets. Boo.

'Stache Bash

This afternoon, the Yankees managed their second 10 inning victory in three games. But more importantly, it was Mustache Day at the Stadium. To Support the 'Stache, obviously. Which led to this awesome moment before the game...

...a Moose-stache!

AND, this awesome moment after the game:

Yeah, he wore it for the whole post-game interview.

Fittingly, the 'Stache himself drove in one of the Yankees' 2 runs today. Go vote for him if you haven't already!

The Mother-Effing 'Stache

At the game on Sunday night, the Yankees were heavily campaigning for fans to vote for Jason Giambi for the final spot on the All-Star Team. Their campaign slogan? 

Support the 'Stache.

Oh hell yes. Indeed, I've done my part and voted to support the 'stache. Unlike the initial All-Star Game vote, there's no limit to how many times you can vote. Or so I believe. It's not like in between my daily goings on I managed to vote nearly 100 times because Giambi's mustache has been the most hilarious thing ever. 

Oh, and I'm not alone. All hail the 'stache!

Extra Inning Heroics

Holy fucking shit. Is there anything more exciting than being at the Stadium for a Sunday night, 5-4, 10 inning victory over the Boston Red Sox? I think not. And the winning run, driven in by a rookie, off Papelbon, no less! I'm so amped up I'll never get to sleep tonight.

ETA: Manny strikes out on three straight pitches from Mo. Looking.

Win. Literally.

Snubbed!

How does the Moose not make the All-Star Team? 

Lame.

Oh well, I'll be enjoying the comedy stylings of Ricky Gervais that night instead (tickets went on sale in November, how was I supposed to know it was the same day as the ASG).

Doing My Patriotic Duty

3 ways I celebrated this overcast, occasionally rainy Independence Day:

1. Listened to Bruce Springsteen's "4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)," the beautifully poetic ode to a girl (what else?) and a warm Jersey Shore summer holiday.
2. Watched Miracle, the Disney film about the 1980 US Olympic hockey team that made a lot of people proud to be Americans. The boys are "too pretty," as my dad noted while we watched it, but honestly, I can't find fault with that. USA all the way, indeed. Bonus BU alum pride included at no extra charge.
3. Watched some of the American pastime, baseball. Of course, that's really no different from my typical daily routine, but it seems fitting for the 4th. Unfortunately it was a Yankees loss, but I'm going for a double dose and holding out hope for a Phillies victory over the Mets.

I highly recommend all three. Happy Independence Day, everyone!

It's been a while...

Yeah, a hospital visit will do that to you. But I'm feeling infinitely better and ready to rejoin the world of the functioning.

Meanwhile, Stephanie won Top Chef (!), my boy Chase finally appears to have broken out of his slump with four hits last night and Joba to the rotation is looking like the greatest decision ever, no?

Ugh.

Ok, this pretty much makes me want to puke.

For Some Music, It Has to be Wal-Mart and Nowhere Else - New York Times

My Hero

There was a guy at Yankee Stadium today with a sign that said 

"The Mustache: If you grow it, hits will come!"

And he was wearing a fake mustache. It could very well be true love, so dude, if you're out there, I'm single.

ETA: Speaking of true love, heros and mustaches... 

Johnny Damon shaved his, but managed to go 6 for 6 and in the process knock in both the game tying (8th inning) and game winning (9th inning) runs. Never thought I'd say this* but I've come to enjoy his presence on the team. His postgame interviews are my favorite.

*Except for the fact that I did 2 years ago. Ha.

There's always one...

I've recently been listening to a recording of Bruce Springsteen's May 7th benefit show for the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, NJ, where he played both Darkness on the Edge of Town and Born to Run in their entirety. The performance is phenomenal and I would have loved to attend, but with tickets starting at $500 and topping out well over $1,000, it just wasn't in the cards. Plus, it was the same night as Flight of the Conchords, and how many times in your life do you get 3rd row center seats for New Zealand's 4th most popular folk-parody group?

Bruce's show was apparently a success on all levels - he helped to raise $3 million for renovations to the theater and put on one hell of a show while doing so. But the most interesting thing about the recording is how, aurally, the show didn't seem that much different from your standard $95 + $20 in Ticketmaster convenience fees. Case in point: some guy, even knowing that "Thunder Road" was coming up (as Bruce had just finished Darkness on the Edge of Town and announced Born to Run was next), felt compelled to shout "ROSALITA!" at the top of his lungs, over and over again.

What is it they say about money buying class?

Mustache Twin Powers Activate!

Giambi hits walkoff homer to lift Yankees over Jays

The mustache triumphs over all. 

P.S. What is up with the Rays being such punks? Not that I'm defending the Red Sox, as they obviously have their own internal problems. Are they jealous that they lack a natural rival and are going around the AL East picking fights with the hopes that they'll create one?

All hail the mother-effin' 'stache

Yes, it's the return of the mustache men!

"Actually, I've got a few more guys in this clubhouse -- Johnny Damon and Shelley [Duncan]," Giambi said. "Joba [Chamberlain] has even got one, even though he looks like a fifth grader with his. I even tried to talk [Derek] Jeter into it."

Derek Jeter + mustache = endless comedic potential . You know it.

Why I Need a Real Job

I interrupt the regularly scheduled posting about baseball and movies to pose this question: Where HAVE these shoes been all my life?!?

From the totally awesome brand Irregular Choice. 

Must. Have.

RBI + Puppy + Hotness = Win

I was going to write a constructive post. About the Yankees going 5-1 over their last 6 games and Joba going to the rotation(!) and the Indiana Jones movie kind of ripping off the X-Files movie and how George Lucas wouldn't know a good script if it bit him in the ass and it was all going to tie together quite nicely.*

But then, I decided instead to post a picture of Chase Utley with a puppy, because tonight he went 3 for 6 with a homer, 6 RBI, 2 runs scored and of course, was super hot.

Unrelated, is anyone watching Last Comic Standing? I'm kind of in love with the tattooed guy from Arizona - he had me at the Walken impression. Seriously. Walken impressions are like an aphrodisiac to me. Yes, I know that's weird.

 *I still might write this.

Welcome to Bizarro World

Where the Yankees score a lot of runs off of one of the AL's best pitchers and beleaguered Barry Zito finally gets a victory. Proof of Zito's win (and his fine, fine ass) here.

Flight of the Conchords - Town Hall NYC, May 7

Not to brag or anything, but I've had a stellar run of luck lately with regard to concert tickets. My latest triumph: 3rd row center for Flight of the Conchords at Town Hall in NYC a week and a half ago.

I had been dying to see the Conchords - Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie - in concert ever since seeing their hilarious HBO show for the first time last summer. And as disappointed as I am that the TV show won't be back until January (blame the WGA strike), I suppose it did leave the boys some time to set up a little tour, and I can't complain about the awesomeness of that.

The show was a blast, better, even, than I was hoping. Very loose and fun, and the guys never took themselves too seriously. The setlist was a wrinkled piece of paper that the guys passed back and forth between themselves and they also shared a guitar pick. "We only have one," explained Jemaine, as he passed it to Bret, who then dropped it. Although the audience made many requests (more on that later), they only took one, which was Sellotape. They claimed to not have played it in over a year, but it sounded pretty good. And you've gotta love any song with a drum solo that is sung.

Other standouts were the two new tunes - one, a song with a chorus of Jemaine's ex-girlfriends (of course, sung by Bret), the other about "gettin' freaky," which Bret apparently was still learning and relied on a chord sheet perched precariously on his lap (unintentionally funny) - "Albi the Racist Dragon" (which was setlisted and when someone in the audience started calling out for it, Jemaine pointed to the setlist and said "Maybe later if you're good," or something along those lines), and "Bowie," which is probably my favorite Conchords song, due to my love of DB and desire to say "Wear the funky funky eyepatch, Bret," to people on a daily basis.

Although they ostensibly play themselves on the HBO show, the real Bret and Jemaine are much less awkward than their TV counterparts, and their good looks just don't seem to come through as well on TV as they do in person. Also different from the TV show: Murray does not exist, much to the disappointment of the many audience members who shouted such witty things as "Where's Murray?" to the boys on stage.

In addition to their attempts to summon Murray, the crowd clearly did not believe that this show would be a passive event. They shouted out requests constantly, especially when the guys were doing a bit of between-song banter, which was mildly irritating but not unexpected, especially with alcohol being served at the venue. Someone in the front row brought props to toss onstage for a good two-thirds of the songs, which was a bit overkill, in my opinion. Then there was the girl, sitting towards the back of the orchestra section, who decided to tell Bret that she would have his children during the intro to "Issues." All in all, it was a bit frustrating because the guys kept trying to shush the rowdy crowd and they weren't into shutting up at all. But the guys took it in stride and really put on a great show.

Apparently Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon were at the show (pictures @ brooklynvegan). I'm a bit sad I didn't see either of them - Bull Durham is way up on my all-time favorites list. I mean, I want to be Annie Savoy and screw Nuke LaLoosh! Doesn't every baseball-loving girl who's seen the movie?

Pass the brain bleach?

Teammates have tried Giambi's lucky thong to bust out of slumps

I don't even know what to say. When I first saw this headline (on Deadspin the other day), I really hoped it was thong sandals. Part of me thinks it's pretty funny that Giambi is secure enough with himself to divulge this in an interview but... it's not exactly a pleasant mental image. But Derek? Really? 

Although... "Pitchers need thongs too," is pretty fucking funny. Finding out Moose's whiteboard quote of the day has been one of the few consistently funny things about this season so far.

No More Devil

At what point does it no longer become okay to say "I can't believe we lost to the Devil Rays! I mean, they're the Rays!" Because I think we may have reached it.

Goddamn stupid overachieving AL East.

Wooooooo!

Needless to say, I'm excited. I'll try my hardest to behave myself, being that, you know, I'm in the 3RD ROW. 

He hits for power, average, and...

... he can fly!

Mooooooooose!

We're not booing him, we're yelling Bruuuuuuuuuuce Mooooooooooose! Sorry, wrong aging-yet-still-relevant star, there.

Moose's line today:

6 IP, 7 hits, 1 run, 0 walks, 5 strikeouts 

And he struck out the side in the 6th! Let's give credit where credit is due, with the exception of Boston - and even then, really, with the exception of facing Manny Ramirez - Moose has been pretty good this season.

Barry Barry Bad

I so totally called this: After 0-6 start, Giants move $126M ace Zito to bullpen

I think he'll work it out; I mean the law of averages seems to suggest he will. He always was a bit schizophrenic - I remember him starting the season opener against the Yankees in '06 and giving up 7 runs over not even two innings, but later that year starting Game 1 of the ALDS against Minnesota and giving up 2 runs over 8 innings at the Metrodome against Johan Santana, a game that had been all but conceded to the Twins.

He'll never be that pitcher that won the Cy Young again - that year was a bit of an anomaly even when he was pitching well - but he's smart and, what can I say, I have faith in my hotties.

Yarrrr!

After watching tonight's Yankees game, I am convinced that backup infielder Morgan Ensberg

is actually the same person as

Alan "Steve the Pirate" Tudyk of Firefly and Dodgeball fame. Which would explain why I haven't seen Tudyk in any movies/TV shows lately and why Ensberg was was so funny in his post-game interview today. So congratulations Morgan Ensberg. You will officially be known as Steve the Pirate from here on out.

Road Trip Aftermath

Quote of the weekend:

"Look... more Canada!"

Green Is Not a Primary Color

So yesterday, webmaster extroadinaire Karl Koch of weezer.com posted a few more tidbits about the band's upcoming album, including the cover photo and a press release about its release.

A screenshot of said press release is above (see the full-size thing here), and its description by Karl as "weird" is an understatement. 

I'm not incredibly well-versed in the writing of press releases, but I've read enough of them to know the basic format, and to know that typos and grammatical errors in something like this are completely unacceptable. And I'm pretty sure that most of them do not include links to Wikipedia. Or claim that green is a primary color.

Sunday Night Baseball Follies

I was watching the Mets/Phillies (because, as previously noted, I'm in love with Chase Utley) game on ESPN tonight and caught this little gem regarding Jose Reyes.

Miller: He plays with such joie de vivre--

Morgan: I don't know what that means, but yeah, he has a lot of fun.

Oh Jon Miller and Joe Morgan, dumbly harmless when commenting on any old game, frustratingly biased against the Yankees. 

Speaking of fun, you know what else is fun? Watching Chase Utley go 3 for 3 with two home runs.

Put down the blade and step away from the ledge

This is why Pete Abraham of the Journal News is my favorite Yankees beat blogger:

Hughes is the second-youngest player in the majors and the youngest pitcher. Most of us were in college when we were 21 and trying to scrape enough money for beer. He's the No. 3 starter for the Yankees. How about giving him a break?

Do I really need to remind people that the Yankees were 14.5 games out of first place last May and were driving around in a van picking up starting pitchers from homeless shelters and bus stations?

It's funny 'cuz it's true.

And for the record, I agree that Phil Hughes has the potential to be an awesome starter. Just... not quite yet. As has been tossed around the interwebs, it got worse before it got better for this guy too, and things turned out pretty well for him. Fingers crossed.

Danny Federici 1950-2008

The E Street Band has lost a brother. Danny, you will be missed. I consider myself all the more lucky for the show I saw in Philadelphia back in October.

=w=

New Weezer album June 24!

New single hearable now!

The All-Hottie Baseball Team: A Study in Pictures

Sometimes, when my bestest best pal Olie and I are bored (which is frequently), we daydream of living on a private island surrounded by tons of hot boys. Being baseball fans (although our allegiances lie with different teams), it's obvious that the island would have its own baseball team, comprised of the best and hottest there is. So come gaze upon the spectacle that is the 2008 All-Hottie Baseball Team.


Catcher:
Joe Mauer (MIN)

The man, the myth, the sideburns.

1B:
Mark Teixeira (ATL)

Representing the ATL.

2B:
Chase Utley (PHI)

Mmm... I like a boy who plays dirty.

SS:
Derek Jeter (NYY)

You never forget your first. Baseball crush, that is.

3B:
David Wright (NYM)

So cute and innocent-looking.

Bonus! Left side of the infield bonding!
(Link, 'cuz it's a big picture)

OF:
Grady Sizemore (CLE)

Grady Sizemore makes me happy that baseball pants are so tight.

(See for yourself)

Xavier Nady (PIT)

From the Pittsburgh Pirates... who knew?!

Jacoby Ellsbury (BOS)

It hurts my heart that he's on the Red Sox, but he's just too adorable, and we don't discriminate here at the All-Hottie Team.

Bench:
Robinson Cano (NYY) - INF

Don't be sad, Robbie! You're only on the bench because I felt guilty about stacking the starting lineup with Yankees.

Eric Chavez (OAK) - INF

He's cute, but he gets injured a lot (and is on the DL as I type). So we'll keep him on the bench where, if nothing else, he can look pretty.

Jeff Francoeur (ATL) - OF

A disciple of the David Wright school of dorky and adorable.

Javy Lopez - C

He didn't make it with the Braves this year, but there's room for Javy on this team!

Starting Pitchers:
Andy Pettitte (NYY)

Andy is dandy. It's the 'take-no-prisoners' glare peeking out between his hat brim and the top of his glove.

Mmm... yes.

Cole Hamels (PHI)

The Phillies have a really good-looking team. How does this happen to a town that booed Santa Claus?

Johan Santana (NYM)

Don' look surprised, Johan, you know you're hot stuff!

Dan Haren (ARI)

He's pitching for the Diamondbacks now, but used to play for the A's, a hotbed of... hotties. If there were ever a team for which to be a real-life Annie Savoy, the A's would be it.

Mike Mussina (NYY)

Dammit, it's my team and I'll put my favorite old guy on it if I want! Besides, every pitching staff needs a mentor and you've gotta admit, Moose still looks good.

Yes, Michael Kay, you fucking idiot, I know they're yelling "Moose" and not booing me.

Bullpen:
Joba Chamberlain (NYY)

So maybe he's not a hottie in the traditional sense. Don't care. Strikeouts are sexy. And he fucking dominates. Tell me you're not interested.

And tell me you don't think he's adorable as the Cowardly Lion during last year's Yankees rookie hazing.

Ross Ohlendorf (NYY)

He has the distinction of being one of the few players whose bio page picture doesn't look like it was taken at the DMV. Which is good because he's so green, there are barely any pictures of him floating around. Bonus points for vaguely resembling John Krasinski.

Barry Zito (SFG)

My ERA is going to be this many!
He's not the pitcher he used to be but let's be honest, he's too hot to not be on this list. He can still get the ball over the plate, which, when your starter totally chokes in the 2nd inning, is necessary sometimes. So what the hell, Barry Zito, you're a long reliever now. It was either that or team mascot, and you deserved a bit more dignity than that.

Joe Nathan (MIN)

The facial hair is questionable, but yeah, we like those boys that throw hard. There's a 'that's what she said' joke in there somewhere.

Huston Street (OAK)

Does anyone else think he has a porn star name? 'Cause here's a porn star-esque pose to accompany it. Not that I'm complaining...

This one was just too hot not to include.

Manager:
Tino Martinez

One of this writer's favorite retired hotties, and the perfect skipper for this team. Also, an excuse to throw in another picture of Derek Jeter.

Ugh.

Dear ESPN,

Now that you've finished broadcasting the Yankees-Red Sox game, please go back to fellating Red Sox Nation, since you clearly can't give the Yankees credit for anything they did well with your mouth so full of Red Sox d--

I should stop.

Can someone please explain how Joe Morgan and Jon Miller still have jobs? Or got said jobs in the first place?

Magical thinking your way to an AL Pennant

This weekend, the madness begins again. The first of many meetings between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. There are countless memorable moments between the two franchises but in my mind, none stands out as much as the following. So in honor of the season's first Yankees/Red Sox matchup, a little anecdote about baseball, magical thinking, and the Curse of the Bambino.*

In 2003, during the pivotal game 7 of the ALCS, it looked like the Red Sox were on the verge of beating the Yankees and going to the World Series. It goes without saying that I never imagined that happening during my freshman year of college - and if I had, I certainly wouldn't have sent the check to Boston University. It was also my first time watching Yankees playoff games without my superstitious sister by my side, and I was feeling a bit lonely.

The game did not start off well. The Yankees were down 4-0, thanks to an ineffective start by Roger Clemens, a favorite whipping boy of my sister and I. Mike Mussina had been doing an excellent job in relief, but through five innings, the Yankees had only managed to score one run. Concerned as to my sister's mental state, I called home.

"Dad?"

"I dunno, pal, doesn't look good for the Yankees."

"Well... Moose is pitching well."

"Yeah, but we gotta get some runs. Here, talk to your mother."

The phone was passed around the room, each family member telling me I was a braver person than he or she, being in Boston at a time like this. I told my parents to keep my sister away from any windows and or ledges, hung up, and pretended that reading for my English class would help me to get my mind off the impending tragedy. But who was I kidding. Trainwreck or no, I was a loyal Yankees fan, and I was going to see this game through to the end. Sure enough, things started picking up when Derek Jeter smacked a double to center field, and there appeared to be hope for the Yankees yet.

I got back on the phone, checking to make sure that the family hadn't given up hope just yet. Little did I know that I would be initiating a new baseball playoff tradition. The family certainly had NOT given up hope. In fact, my sister was downright ecstatic every time Yankees batters managed another hit or pitchers got a strikeout or clutch double play.

"Well, my phone battery is dying and I gotta go, but things are looking up, so maybe the Yankees will win after all," I said to my sister as I went to end the call.

"NOOOOO!" she shrieked into the phone, temporarily defeaning me. "You can't hang up because now the Yankees are rallying and if you hang up you could destroy the rally!"

This, it should be noted, was delivered in her patented "Monkey Screech," a manner of speaking where the words all come out as one and the pitch is only slightly lower than that of a dog whistle. I wasn't a superstitious person, but I dug out my phone charger, found a relatively convenient outlet, and plugged in my phone, keeping the chain unbroken.

"You see," my sister explained, "when you called, the Yankees had a huge rally. And if you hang up and the rally ends and the Yankees lose, then it will be ALL YOUR FAULT."

My sister subscribed wholeheartedly to the idea of magical thinking, which wasn't ordinarily my thing. But this was a special situation. And the prospect of coming home for Thanksgiving break and potentially being known around the house as the reason the Yankees lost the pennant was not something I wanted to live with. So I stayed on the line for the rest of the game, which eventually went into extra innings. The phone was passed from family member to family member as I sat on my dorm room bed, straining to watch the game on our TV with horrible reception.

And just when I thought that my cell phone might overheat, forever relegating me to be the reason the Yankees lost the ALCS in 2003 when it was actually the fault of my cellphone, Aaron Boone - he of the .176 batting average during the ALCS - came through with a home run in the bottom of the 11th. I threw the phone down and screamed. I heard screaming on the other end. My Red Sox fan roommate gave me a dirty look. The final score was 6-5, and the Yankees were going to the World Series.

A few brave Yankees fans had run outside and I could hear the chants of "LET'S GO YANK-KEES" and "BOSTON SUCKS" through the open window of my third floor room late into the night. I had an early class the next morning, but I didn't care. It was beautiful.

*Which was still in effect then.

Bizarro World

How is it that the Baltimore Orioles, who gave up on life this past offseason and traded away Miguel Tejada (which, after the Mitchell report may not have been that bad of a move) and Erik Bedard, have the best record in the AL at 6-1?

Oh yeah, it's business time!

From that Northwest bastion of indie rock and pop:

Flight of the Conchords.
Town Hall - New York, NY.
May 6 & 7.

I'm squealing, dog-whistle style. This is so awesome, even if it does mean another battle with Ticketmaster.

Prove It All Night with Derek Jeter*

There's been no shortage of pontificating on what's going to happen to the Yankees this season, what with hiring a new manager and all of A-Rod's off-season drama. But this is easily one of the awesomest Yankees previews I've read:

The Yankees and the Boss: Mash-up Style

A Yankees season preview in terms of Bruce Springsteen songs. Sweet.

*Yes, please!

Missing Mr. Torre

After the major letdown that was the Opening Day rainout, the Yankees opened up their season with a nice little victory over the Blue Jays and their ace, Roy Halliday. It's good to have baseball back.

Although for a Yankees fan that grew up with Joe Torre at the helm, it's a little disorienting to see him instead in Dodger blue, over in La La Land. But things seem to be off to a good start for him on the left coast, and there's a great article at ESPN.com about his trip with the Dodgers to China earlier this year. I have to agree with the piece's author: Torre just does seem to exude cool. As long as the Dodgers aren't playing the Yankees in interleague (or the World Series), I'll cheer for 'em.

Darkly Dreaming Dexter

I've just finished watching the first season of Dexter, which is a show I've wanted to get into for the longest time and just didn't, for various reasons. But happily, Showtime seems to be looking at Dexter as its flagship show and has the entire series available OnDemand. So I checked it out.

Holy shit. I am so in love with this show.

Dexter Morgan, our protagonist, is a forensic analyst for the Miami Police Department. In his free time, he's a serial killer. Moral relativism is the name of Dexter's game - yeah, he's a serial killer, but he only knocks off other serial killers. Traumatized as a young child, he lives by a code imparted to him by his foster father Harry which basically boils down to don't kill people unless they really deserve it. Season 1 follows the Miami PD as they attempt to track down the Ice Truck Killer, a serial killer who preys upon and dismembers prostitutes. The Ice Truck Killer plays a twisted game of cat and mouse with Dexter, ultimately revealing himself to be far more entangled in Dexter's life than Dexter ever could have imagined.

Dexter seems to be part of a growing trend on pay-cable shows where audiences are asked to sympathize with a seemingly despicable character - the most obvious being the mobster at the heart of The Sopranos, but the Travellers at the heart of The Riches (FX, which is kind of HBO/Showtime-lite) also fit the bill. Dexter does some nasty stuff, but the show never judges him. It lets you think what you want about him and his pastime, although I have to say that Dex is probably a bit more likable than Tony Soprano. Of course, your opinion may vary - which is kind of the beauty of it.

Oh, also, it's really pretty funny. Darkly funny, and ironic, not unlike the tone of a Coen Brothers movie. A huge part of what makes that work is Michael C. Hall, who does a bang-up job of being cold-bloodedly evil, immensely charming, and really funny. To say the role is different than the one he played on Six Feet Under is beyond an understatement. Other than a touch of OCD, Dexter Morgan and David Fisher have nothing in common. Including the fact that in five years of watching Six Feet Under, I never once found myself attracted to Hall but damn if I didn't want to jump Dexter's bones within the first ten minutes of the pilot. The tousled hair, sideburns (oh man am I a sucker for a nice set of sideburns), and perpetual stubble are a good look for him.

I'm just beginning season 2 of Dexter, and I was skeptical that the writers would be able to craft a season-long storyline that would be as engaging and revealing as the Ice Truck Killer. But as evidenced by the number of times I uttered "holy shit" and "fuck me, no way!" as I watched the first few episodes, I don't think it's going to disappoint. 

Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack

It may be cold and rainy in New York, but the calendar doesn't lie: it's Opening Day 2008. So, baseball fans, may your starting pitchers go the distance, your sluggers stay healthy, and your closers retain their stellar stuff. 

Unless you're playing against the Yankees.

Baseball's back. Hell yeah.

Automatic (LA Riots Remix)

This right here is a link to a trailer for the PS3 game Gran Turismo 5 Prologue.

Do I care about Gran Turismo 5 Prologue? Not particularly. But OMFG NEW WEEZER SONG (even if it is just a :40 second snippet).

New Weezer song! New Weezer song! New Weezer song!

Cooler and/or more important bands may enter my life, but Weezer will always be my favorite.

Late Night Love Affair

Conan, I have a confession to make. You know I love you and your irreverent humor and awesome hair and willingness to do stuff like install a hang glider in your studio. It's just that you've been in reruns this week and... well, I've been watching Craig Ferguson. And he's kind of awesome too and DAMMIT CRAIG FERGUSON STOP MAKING ME LOVE YOU!

It's the accent. Gets me every time...

Mister state trooper, please don't stop me

Woman stabs partner to death after fight over Bruce Springsteen - CNN.com

Ok, I know this is just so wrong but I read this story and LAUGHED. And then I thought well, you know, she was justified. And THEN I thought this would be a good warning to any future boyfriends of mine. 'Cause, you know, you don't fuck around with the Boss.

Album 6!!

Wow, I write it, and happens. Weezer announced yesterday that the new album is due out in June. Now they need to go on tour and play NY/NJ in July to complete my goal of seeing every band I've ever loved during that month.

Concert-going

So the Foo Fighters just announced a new show this summer at the Meadowlands on July 29th, and I'm debating if it's worth it to go. I was admittedly a bit underwhelmed by their setlist at the Garden, but by July, there's a good chance they'll change it up, especially when hitting an area that they hit on the first leg. And also, I'm on a mission to make the month of July the most event-filled ever. So far I've got Ricky Gervais and Bruce, and I'm hoping for another Bruce show (yeah I know, greedy), a Yankees game on my birthday and now maybe the Foos. (I'm also hoping for Eddie Izzard at the end of June, the Police at the beginning of August and Radiohead at some point during the summer when they announce US shows that aren't the All Points West festival.)

Now when is Weezer going to announce the release date (and potential tour, please) for Album #6? That would make my summer pretty fucking perfect.  

The Keith Richards/Steve Van Zant Honorary Head Scarf

When I play Guitar Hero and am feeling in a silly mood (which is a given when alcohol is involved), I like to wear what I have dubbed the "Keith Richards/Steve Van Zant Honorary Head Scarf." It's a black and white striped silk scarf that I got from H&M a while ago and I tie it around my head like everyone's favorite pirate daddy/mob consigliere in an effort to boost my Guitar Hero skills. Because, as anyone who plays the guitar knows, it's all about how you look when you play.

Anyway, I decided to wear my scarf this weekend at what essentially turned out to be a Guitar Hero summit at a friend's place. It was a fucking blast, and I both kicked ass and partied like a rock star. I think I partied a little too hard, though. When I finally got a look at myself in the mirror, hungover, wearing the same clothes I wore last night, with my massively disheveled hair tied up in the scarf, I had to laugh. I walked into the spare bedroom where everyone was congregating and announced that maybe I had been channeling Keith Richards a bit too much. After all that fun, I was starting to look as haggard as him. Of course, the good news is that this means that maybe I can channel Keith Richards enough to make myself indestructible, as good old Keith is perceived to be. The bad news is that, of course, I would look like Keith Richards.

Not Cool!

http://jezebel.com/364337/jessica-simpson-probably-spent-3000-on-this-outfit

I have the shirt that she's wearing, a vintage Bruce Springsteen tour shirt from 1985. This makes me feel a little dead inside, because I spent so much time looking for a sweet vintage Bruce shirt on eBay and finally got this one right before I went to the show in Philly and then I had so many people at the concert tell me that my shirt was awesome and it was like the Bruce crazies in Philly accepted me as one of their own and it was sweeeeet. (And that may have been one of the worst sentences I've ever written.) And Jessica Simpson is wearing the same shirt. Ew.

And you know what, I don't care that she probably couldn't name three Bruce songs if you asked her (okay maybe I do a little); that's not what makes me really angry. What makes me angry is that she's wearing MY SHIRT.

Speaking of Foo...

WANT

You make me dizzy running circles in my head

I keep thinking about the crowd at the Foo Fighters concert and how it wasn't at all what I expected hoped. I mean, front row in the pit, and you've got a girl looking at pictures on her camera from meeting Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal after Rent, a couple that spent the entire show making out (much to my chagrin), two girls who couldn't stop talking about Fall Out Boy, a kid who said the only Queens of the Stone Age song he knew was the one in Guitar Hero, and a ten year old kid and his older brother. Ten! That means the kid WAS NOT EVEN ALIVE when The Colour and The Shape came out. I'm having a bit of trouble wrapping my brain around that.

Actually, I didn't really have a problem with the ten year old so much as I did with the couple sucking face and the kid who didn't know anything about QOTSA. The ten year old just made me feel old, which, in turn made me think of the nerdy guys at the Bruce show back in October, and how my sister and I made them feel old. Circle of life, I guess. Or some shit like that.

Oh, I don't think my face is visible at all during the Fuse broadcast of the concert, which makes sense because the two times I remember looking at the cameras were during "This Is A Call" which didn't make it to air and another time when I was positive that the world's most irritating couple was making out and therefore completely blocking me out - and they did. But you can definitely see my arm raised in a salute to the rock* during "Breakout." I'm working on a screencap.

*I watched the Tenacious D movie twice while confined to the couch.

I'm finally not dying of pharangytis and what news is out there to celebrate this?

Season 2 of Flight of the Conchords won't be around until early 2009, thanks to the strike.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Yankees vs. the media, always a battle

Yankees To Play Exhibition Game Against The Media

Funniest Onion story I've read in some time. My favorite part is about not letting Michael Kay on the team. Oh and Bill Simmons sustaining a head wound that required 45 stitches.

I came, I saw, I Foo'd

Last night was the Foo Fighters show at MSG. It was pretty good, but I'm still feeling some residual tired-ness, and I've got some battle scars. Oh, and I was in the second fucking row. A more thorough review to come.

On an unrelated note, how phenomenal is the live version of "Prove It All Night" from the Darkness on the Edge of Town tour? Bruce's guitar work is mind-blowing. I don't think he gets the credit he deserves for his mad guitar skillz.

Yeah, I just typed skillz. Blame it on the concert-related injuries.

I totally saw this coming

I don't want to say that I'm predicting the future or anything, but I was watching Homicide the other night and thinking how cool it would be if Detective John Munch added another show to his roster of appearances and showed up on the last season of The Wire.

AND HE DID.

Want your mind blown even more? He was sitting at a bar a few seats down from a gentleman named Jay Landsman (Lt. Mello on the show)... who was featured prominently in David Simon's book Homicide and inspired the character of John Munch. 

Whoa.

Going off the rails on a crazy train

I've been taking the train to Manhattan for like 20 years now. Why does the NJTransit schedule decide to suddenly stop making sense? Also, I could be stranded in the city on Tuesday night.

Opening Day: 46 Days and Counting...

Can you feel that? That tingling sense of anticipation? Yes, today is a very important day, for pitchers and catchers report to their respective spring training complexes and baseball is officially underway!

It's also Valentine's Day, which, to be honest, I don't even have the energy to rant against this year. So instead, I'll combine the day's two events and declare my love for the youngsters on the Yankees pitching staff: Joba Chamberlain and Phil Hughes.

So... between the text messaging, the killer fastball, the bugs, the blog, the 7-inning no-hitter, the composure unheard of for a 21-year-old, and the t-shirt, it's official. You guys are kind of a big deal. Love ya, boys!

Let the countdown to Opening Day 2008 begin!

This is what it sounds like when doves cry

I stayed up tonight to watch Purple Rain which, surprisingly, I had never seen. My main thought, at the end of the film, is why doesn't weird shit like this get made today? I can totally see Fall Out Boy in a Purple Rain/Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey hybrid where faux punk rock saves the world from aliens or something. In fact, I might start writing that right now...

Woke up this morning...

How pathetically Jersey is this? When I was in LA, watching the opening credits of The Sopranos made me a bit homesick. 

I'm re-watching some episodes on demand, and now, of course, seeing the credits makes me think of being in LA being homesick for New Jersey, and all the warm weather and palm trees it entailed. I'm never satisfied...

Also, having Silvio aka Little Steven standing outside Madam Marie's on the Asbury Park boardwalk (season 2 finale) is pretty much one of the best pop culture references the show has done.

Say it ain't so!

Ok, this is probably the most disappointing news I've gotten in a while. Will Arnett, who was supposed to be the voice of KITT (and already recorded all the voiceover parts) in the Knight Rider TV movie that's going to be on next Sunday, is no longer going to do so because KITT is being "played" by a Ford Mustang and Arnett is the voice of GMC Trucks. He's being replaced by Val Kilmer.

I was actually going to watch it! But now... nah. Val Kilmer does nothing for me.

New York > Boston

Truly, my love for Jon Stewart knows no bounds.

18-1 is a beautiful thing

Giants 17, Patriots 14.

In the immortal words of Jason Bateman in Dodgeball, "I feel shocked."

In an awesome way, of course. Way to go, Big Blue.

There was a barber and his wife, and he was beautiful...

At this point in my life, there is no other way to describe a Tim Burton movie than as a momentous event in my life. This sounds overdramatic, but bear with me. Burton was my first "favorite" director, before I started getting pretentious and and into foreign films and other things of that nature, and Edward Scissorhands was the first DVD I ever bought. Burton remains one of my favorite directors, and, as I confessed to a friend the other day, I so want his films to be good, I actually get a bit nervous when I go to see them.

Such a line of thinking seems to set one up for disappointment, and yet, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street was anything but. You surely know the story of Sweeney Todd - falsely accused barber gets revenge by slitting the throats of those who have wronged him while the woman downstairs turns their bodies into filling for her meat pies - and if you didn't, you do now.

It seems like fodder for a z-grade horror movie, not a Broadway musical, and yet, it's been both. It is composer Stephen Sondheim's masterpiece, and although he is quite the imposing figure, Burton manages to put his own stamp on the film, allowing it to be both a Tim Burton film and a Stephen Sondheim film.

The gory, darkly humorous musical is almost too perfect for Burton, the only musical you could ever imagine him directing. Blood and gore, a gaunt, pale protagonist, a bleak story with touches of equally dark humor - all hallmarks of Burton's previous works, especially the ones with his favorite muse, Johnny Depp. Depp does a surprisingly excellent job with the notoriously complex score, and Helena Bonham Carter, although not quite as good as Depp, does an admirable job as well.

Visually, the film resembles Sleepy Hollow - de-saturated with vividly colored flashbacks emphasizing the contrast between then and now, and gushing geysers of red, red blood, which, frankly, look amazingly cool against the nearly black and white background. Reflections are everywhere in Sweeney Todd, from puddles on the dirty London streets to Sweeney's beloved razor to the shattered mirror in his shop - and notably, all of these reflections are in some way distorted. Whatever they are supposed to reflect - Sweeney's own perception of himself as a pariah, the morally ugly person he's become since being consumed by revenge - they are pretty awesome solely on a visual level. And while that's occasionally been the case with Tim Burton's films - visually stunning but a bit lacking in other areas - Sweeney Todd doesn't disappoint in any way.

A note: I realize the importance of timeliness and relevance - and a review of a film that is neither nominated for Best Picture or playing for more than one showing a week is neither timely nor relevant. But I loved the movie so much and really wanted to make sure that I did it justice with my review, and I took my time. So there.