Dear Mr. Ramirez,

Adios mofo! We will not miss you "being Manny," except when it means you go up to bat against Mariano Rivera and decide not to take the bat off your shoulder. Also, we find it super ironic that once again, you are going to be Joe Torre's headache.

Enjoy LA.

Kindest Regards,

The New York Yankees and their fans

P.S. Mike Mussina wants to know where to send the thank you note.

Take that shift and shove it...

As a Yankees fan, I'll admit to having a rocky relationship with Jason Giambi, who has been with the team since 2002. He replaced Tino Martinez, then there was that whole steroids mess, then he just kind of sucked and always looked greasy. But in this season, a contract year for him, I confess that he's been one of my favorite parts of watching the Yanks (along with Moose's improbably successful season and the rise of Joba the Starter). There's the 'stache, of course, and then there's this little number from last night. 

The scene: Giambi has a base hit stolen away by the shift. In his next at bat, well, let's go to the tape:

Heh heh.

Bonus (for when the non-fun-loving bigwigs at MLB inevitably take down Giambi's little gesture):

The 'Stache talks about... the 'Stache

Oh Jason... it is ALL '70s porn star.

Tramps like us...

A-frickin'-mazing show by Bruce and the E Streeters tonight. 

But for now, exhaustion. And disappointment at Moose's inability to to hold his former team in check for the 2nd time this season (albeit disappointment tempered by the Rays and Red Sox also losing... although that should be even more disappointing because it means we could have picked up a game on each if we won... oh fuck it, I'm going to bed). 

Come on!

The national sports media has such a hard on for Yankees/Red Sox series that every time one comes around, the games get snatched up by Fox and ESPN. Which means that today's game is the Sunday Night Baseball game, which means it's on at the same time as the season premiere of Mad Men.

Not cool.

Ladies love Bats too!

One of the best parts of Friday afternoons has always been reading a just-arrived Entertainment Weekly. This week's issue featured a cover story on The Dark Knight, fairly unremarkable until I got to this passage:

Despite all of the records being shattered, perhaps the biggest revelation about The Dark Knight's opening weekend was who was sitting in the audience... A reported 48 percent of The Dark Knight's audience was female, and that number probably would have been even higher had so many women not flocked to Mamma Mia!

Whether they were drawn by the rubberneck curiosity surrounding Ledger's last fully realized performance or simply felt that this comic-book movie had something to say to them, too, The Dark Knight's audience represents a huge demographic shift for studio marketers to wrap their heads around.

As a female moviegoer who had The Dark Knight's release date marked on her calendar for some time (although considering the fact that it coincided with my birthday, it was pretty hard to forget), I'm kind of offended, not to mention confused, by these comments. 

To review: people out there think that a movie starring Christian Bale, sex object since the days of Newsies* (oh come on, he was 18 then!), Aaron Eckhart, who emerged as a smart woman's sex symbol in Thank You For Smoking, and Heath Ledger, who stole every teen girl's heart in 10 Things I Hate About You, isn't going to attract female viewers?

And this is Batman we're talking about here. He's not some obscure superhero from the 70s resurrected from the DC Comics vaults in the hopes of squeezing out a few more dollars from the comic book cash cow. He's a part of American culture and mythology.

The writer of this article - a dude, of course - surmises that women either went to see the movie because of all the hype surrounding Heath Ledger's death or because they thought it might "[have] something to say to them too." I'm not exactly sure what that latter reason means, but why can't a girl go see this movie because she, too, wants to go see a big ol' summer blockbuster? Are blockbusters not so because EVERYONE goes to see them? Last time I checked, women were included in "everyone." And it's not like this was a shitty summer blockbuster like Armageddon or Transformers. There's Oscar buzz for this movie and quality films appeal to people regardless of gender. No debate necessary.

Maybe my point of view is so hopelessly skewed when it comes to film that I'm talking out of my ass here, arguing for naut. But I don't think that's the case. Come on, Hollywood. Women love movies just as much as men. Stop acting shocked when we show up to see them.

*I admit I have an ironic appreciation for Newsies whereas everyone else my age seems to embrace it sincerely. But it's an appreciation nonetheless, right?

A social conscience gets me hot and bothered

Hot, talented, and he saves kitties. Lordy. Although, admittedly, the 0-12 in the series against the Mets is kind of a ladyboner-killer.

In more substantive news, thoughts on The Dark Knight and its monster opening weekend and The X-Files: I Want to Believe later. 

Time to build a bomb shelter...

This just in from the signs of the apocalypse department:

1. MTV is remaking The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

This is so bizarre that I really don't know how to respond. Except with concern that the powers that be at the channel that ruined music might cast Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson as Brad and Janet. I shudder at the thought.

Although, I confess, I'd kind of like to see Jack Black play Eddie.

2. A Boston Globe columnist advocates the abolition of the "Yankees Suck" chant.

But I am a Red Sox fan, have been all my life, and so that means I don't like the Yankees. My two sons don't like the Yankees either. But here's the critical difference: I respect the Yankees, and I've taught my sons to do so, too. They are 14 and 11, love baseball, and know that Derek Jeter plays the game as well and as hard as anyone has. If I were picking sides in the schoolyard, Jeter is the guy I'd pick first.

Whoa. Logic and civility coming out of Boston. That did not happen in the 4 years I spent there...

Dear BigTimeBats.com...

Please stop making weird Yankee Stadium final season collectibles and advertising them on YES. It's a long season and I don't want to buy any of your weird collectibles. 

Also, if we could additionally do away with the Fox News commercials on YES, we'd be golden. However, all that would leave us with is the MHR Hair Restoration system...

Ah, the perils of the regional sports network.

Birthday Weekend = Epic Win

To review:

The Yankees sweep the A's (while the Red Sox get swept by the Angels) and I'm in attendance Friday night (that would be my birthday) to see the Moose pick up career victory number 262, a warm but enjoyable Saturday night on Broadway, and Sunday afternoon at the movies for the mind-blowing experience that is The Dark Knight.

Awesome. 

Extra bonus awesome: Picking up the Hold Steady's new album. If you're a Bruce fan, you owe it to yourself to check out these guys.

1 2 3 4

Somehow, through it all, Sesame Street has remained the coolest show on TV. Proof?

Yes, that's Feist. This show gets better musical guests than Jay Leno. [insert rim shot here]

Awkward Joba Part 2: Not Awkward

Awwww. He cleans up so nice. And doesn't look awkward. And might even get the 'swoon-worthy' tag...

Joba at the All-Star Week Club 33 Party

Awkward Joba Chamberlain is Selling Me Coffee

Ricky Gervais is one of my comedy heroes. That being said, I feel a bit guilty that I've spent the last 6 months pouting about the fact that of the three shows he was doing in NYC, I managed to buy tickets to the only one that was the same day as the MLB All-Star Game. Apparently, I was deluded enough to think that I had a chance to get tickets to said game (which, now in the 13th inning, appears to be somewhat of a bust).

Anyway, Gervais was hilarious, brilliant, and a whole mess of other superlative adjectives. I can't really get into it now as I am needing sleep, but I have to share this. I had some time between the end of the show and my train home, so I found a Dunkin' Donuts and got an iced coffee. There, staring at me from the window of said Dunks (TM Nikki), was one Joba Chamberlain, in quite possibly one of the more awkward photos I've seen of him. So I started laughing uncontrollably (you know, it's not like I had spent the previous two hours laughing or anything) and said to my mom, "Oh look, awkward Joba Chamberlain is trying to sell me coffee." And this story is pretty lame. I think there was more to it at one point but alas... 

Derby, Part Deux

So... Justin Morneau? That's a bit shocking, considering the superhuman first round (and human interest story) Josh Hamilton had. Morneau looked like he almost felt guilty for winning. My boy Chase didn't make it past the first round but he still looked pretty good, so I guess it all evens out. Also, I think his f-bomb caught on national TV makes me love him more.

As excited as I am to see Ricky Gervais tomorrow night, I'm still a bit bummed to be missing the All-Star Game.

Back - back - back - GONE!

It's just about Home Run Derby time, which I'll be watching from the comfort of my couch rather than Yankee Stadium because, again, broke. Since the 'Stache decided not to participate,* I'm pulling for Chase Utley. If his sheer awesomeness doesn't make the ball jump off the bat and into the stands, the short porch in right field and the fact that he's a lefty might help. 

That being said, if Chase does manage to work his awesome in such a way, does that make him the Chuck Norris of baseball? 

*He was offered a spot but declined since he didn't make the All Star Team, and I can't say I blame him.

Take me out to the ballgame?

Does anyone have pity on a Yankees fan who can't afford StubHub prices and want to send her and her bestest best pal to the game on her birthday (7/18)? Or baring outright charity, a willingness to sell her seats at or near face value?

That's all I got. Yeah it's desperate but when the game's sold out and bleacher seats are starting at $50, what's a girl to do?

ETA: Goddammit! The Moose is pitching on my birthday and I still have no tickets. Boo.

'Stache Bash

This afternoon, the Yankees managed their second 10 inning victory in three games. But more importantly, it was Mustache Day at the Stadium. To Support the 'Stache, obviously. Which led to this awesome moment before the game...

...a Moose-stache!

AND, this awesome moment after the game:

Yeah, he wore it for the whole post-game interview.

Fittingly, the 'Stache himself drove in one of the Yankees' 2 runs today. Go vote for him if you haven't already!

The Mother-Effing 'Stache

At the game on Sunday night, the Yankees were heavily campaigning for fans to vote for Jason Giambi for the final spot on the All-Star Team. Their campaign slogan? 

Support the 'Stache.

Oh hell yes. Indeed, I've done my part and voted to support the 'stache. Unlike the initial All-Star Game vote, there's no limit to how many times you can vote. Or so I believe. It's not like in between my daily goings on I managed to vote nearly 100 times because Giambi's mustache has been the most hilarious thing ever. 

Oh, and I'm not alone. All hail the 'stache!

Extra Inning Heroics

Holy fucking shit. Is there anything more exciting than being at the Stadium for a Sunday night, 5-4, 10 inning victory over the Boston Red Sox? I think not. And the winning run, driven in by a rookie, off Papelbon, no less! I'm so amped up I'll never get to sleep tonight.

ETA: Manny strikes out on three straight pitches from Mo. Looking.

Win. Literally.

Snubbed!

How does the Moose not make the All-Star Team? 

Lame.

Oh well, I'll be enjoying the comedy stylings of Ricky Gervais that night instead (tickets went on sale in November, how was I supposed to know it was the same day as the ASG).

Doing My Patriotic Duty

3 ways I celebrated this overcast, occasionally rainy Independence Day:

1. Listened to Bruce Springsteen's "4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)," the beautifully poetic ode to a girl (what else?) and a warm Jersey Shore summer holiday.
2. Watched Miracle, the Disney film about the 1980 US Olympic hockey team that made a lot of people proud to be Americans. The boys are "too pretty," as my dad noted while we watched it, but honestly, I can't find fault with that. USA all the way, indeed. Bonus BU alum pride included at no extra charge.
3. Watched some of the American pastime, baseball. Of course, that's really no different from my typical daily routine, but it seems fitting for the 4th. Unfortunately it was a Yankees loss, but I'm going for a double dose and holding out hope for a Phillies victory over the Mets.

I highly recommend all three. Happy Independence Day, everyone!