The Mother-Effing 'Stache

At the game on Sunday night, the Yankees were heavily campaigning for fans to vote for Jason Giambi for the final spot on the All-Star Team. Their campaign slogan? 

Support the 'Stache.

Oh hell yes. Indeed, I've done my part and voted to support the 'stache. Unlike the initial All-Star Game vote, there's no limit to how many times you can vote. Or so I believe. It's not like in between my daily goings on I managed to vote nearly 100 times because Giambi's mustache has been the most hilarious thing ever. 

Oh, and I'm not alone. All hail the 'stache!

Extra Inning Heroics

Holy fucking shit. Is there anything more exciting than being at the Stadium for a Sunday night, 5-4, 10 inning victory over the Boston Red Sox? I think not. And the winning run, driven in by a rookie, off Papelbon, no less! I'm so amped up I'll never get to sleep tonight.

ETA: Manny strikes out on three straight pitches from Mo. Looking.

Win. Literally.

Snubbed!

How does the Moose not make the All-Star Team? 

Lame.

Oh well, I'll be enjoying the comedy stylings of Ricky Gervais that night instead (tickets went on sale in November, how was I supposed to know it was the same day as the ASG).

Doing My Patriotic Duty

3 ways I celebrated this overcast, occasionally rainy Independence Day:

1. Listened to Bruce Springsteen's "4th of July, Asbury Park (Sandy)," the beautifully poetic ode to a girl (what else?) and a warm Jersey Shore summer holiday.
2. Watched Miracle, the Disney film about the 1980 US Olympic hockey team that made a lot of people proud to be Americans. The boys are "too pretty," as my dad noted while we watched it, but honestly, I can't find fault with that. USA all the way, indeed. Bonus BU alum pride included at no extra charge.
3. Watched some of the American pastime, baseball. Of course, that's really no different from my typical daily routine, but it seems fitting for the 4th. Unfortunately it was a Yankees loss, but I'm going for a double dose and holding out hope for a Phillies victory over the Mets.

I highly recommend all three. Happy Independence Day, everyone!

It's been a while...

Yeah, a hospital visit will do that to you. But I'm feeling infinitely better and ready to rejoin the world of the functioning.

Meanwhile, Stephanie won Top Chef (!), my boy Chase finally appears to have broken out of his slump with four hits last night and Joba to the rotation is looking like the greatest decision ever, no?

Ugh.

Ok, this pretty much makes me want to puke.

For Some Music, It Has to be Wal-Mart and Nowhere Else - New York Times

My Hero

There was a guy at Yankee Stadium today with a sign that said 

"The Mustache: If you grow it, hits will come!"

And he was wearing a fake mustache. It could very well be true love, so dude, if you're out there, I'm single.

ETA: Speaking of true love, heros and mustaches... 

Johnny Damon shaved his, but managed to go 6 for 6 and in the process knock in both the game tying (8th inning) and game winning (9th inning) runs. Never thought I'd say this* but I've come to enjoy his presence on the team. His postgame interviews are my favorite.

*Except for the fact that I did 2 years ago. Ha.

There's always one...

I've recently been listening to a recording of Bruce Springsteen's May 7th benefit show for the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, NJ, where he played both Darkness on the Edge of Town and Born to Run in their entirety. The performance is phenomenal and I would have loved to attend, but with tickets starting at $500 and topping out well over $1,000, it just wasn't in the cards. Plus, it was the same night as Flight of the Conchords, and how many times in your life do you get 3rd row center seats for New Zealand's 4th most popular folk-parody group?

Bruce's show was apparently a success on all levels - he helped to raise $3 million for renovations to the theater and put on one hell of a show while doing so. But the most interesting thing about the recording is how, aurally, the show didn't seem that much different from your standard $95 + $20 in Ticketmaster convenience fees. Case in point: some guy, even knowing that "Thunder Road" was coming up (as Bruce had just finished Darkness on the Edge of Town and announced Born to Run was next), felt compelled to shout "ROSALITA!" at the top of his lungs, over and over again.

What is it they say about money buying class?

Mustache Twin Powers Activate!

Giambi hits walkoff homer to lift Yankees over Jays

The mustache triumphs over all. 

P.S. What is up with the Rays being such punks? Not that I'm defending the Red Sox, as they obviously have their own internal problems. Are they jealous that they lack a natural rival and are going around the AL East picking fights with the hopes that they'll create one?

All hail the mother-effin' 'stache

Yes, it's the return of the mustache men!

"Actually, I've got a few more guys in this clubhouse -- Johnny Damon and Shelley [Duncan]," Giambi said. "Joba [Chamberlain] has even got one, even though he looks like a fifth grader with his. I even tried to talk [Derek] Jeter into it."

Derek Jeter + mustache = endless comedic potential . You know it.

Why I Need a Real Job

I interrupt the regularly scheduled posting about baseball and movies to pose this question: Where HAVE these shoes been all my life?!?

From the totally awesome brand Irregular Choice. 

Must. Have.

RBI + Puppy + Hotness = Win

I was going to write a constructive post. About the Yankees going 5-1 over their last 6 games and Joba going to the rotation(!) and the Indiana Jones movie kind of ripping off the X-Files movie and how George Lucas wouldn't know a good script if it bit him in the ass and it was all going to tie together quite nicely.*

But then, I decided instead to post a picture of Chase Utley with a puppy, because tonight he went 3 for 6 with a homer, 6 RBI, 2 runs scored and of course, was super hot.

Unrelated, is anyone watching Last Comic Standing? I'm kind of in love with the tattooed guy from Arizona - he had me at the Walken impression. Seriously. Walken impressions are like an aphrodisiac to me. Yes, I know that's weird.

 *I still might write this.

Welcome to Bizarro World

Where the Yankees score a lot of runs off of one of the AL's best pitchers and beleaguered Barry Zito finally gets a victory. Proof of Zito's win (and his fine, fine ass) here.

Flight of the Conchords - Town Hall NYC, May 7

Not to brag or anything, but I've had a stellar run of luck lately with regard to concert tickets. My latest triumph: 3rd row center for Flight of the Conchords at Town Hall in NYC a week and a half ago.

I had been dying to see the Conchords - Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie - in concert ever since seeing their hilarious HBO show for the first time last summer. And as disappointed as I am that the TV show won't be back until January (blame the WGA strike), I suppose it did leave the boys some time to set up a little tour, and I can't complain about the awesomeness of that.

The show was a blast, better, even, than I was hoping. Very loose and fun, and the guys never took themselves too seriously. The setlist was a wrinkled piece of paper that the guys passed back and forth between themselves and they also shared a guitar pick. "We only have one," explained Jemaine, as he passed it to Bret, who then dropped it. Although the audience made many requests (more on that later), they only took one, which was Sellotape. They claimed to not have played it in over a year, but it sounded pretty good. And you've gotta love any song with a drum solo that is sung.

Other standouts were the two new tunes - one, a song with a chorus of Jemaine's ex-girlfriends (of course, sung by Bret), the other about "gettin' freaky," which Bret apparently was still learning and relied on a chord sheet perched precariously on his lap (unintentionally funny) - "Albi the Racist Dragon" (which was setlisted and when someone in the audience started calling out for it, Jemaine pointed to the setlist and said "Maybe later if you're good," or something along those lines), and "Bowie," which is probably my favorite Conchords song, due to my love of DB and desire to say "Wear the funky funky eyepatch, Bret," to people on a daily basis.

Although they ostensibly play themselves on the HBO show, the real Bret and Jemaine are much less awkward than their TV counterparts, and their good looks just don't seem to come through as well on TV as they do in person. Also different from the TV show: Murray does not exist, much to the disappointment of the many audience members who shouted such witty things as "Where's Murray?" to the boys on stage.

In addition to their attempts to summon Murray, the crowd clearly did not believe that this show would be a passive event. They shouted out requests constantly, especially when the guys were doing a bit of between-song banter, which was mildly irritating but not unexpected, especially with alcohol being served at the venue. Someone in the front row brought props to toss onstage for a good two-thirds of the songs, which was a bit overkill, in my opinion. Then there was the girl, sitting towards the back of the orchestra section, who decided to tell Bret that she would have his children during the intro to "Issues." All in all, it was a bit frustrating because the guys kept trying to shush the rowdy crowd and they weren't into shutting up at all. But the guys took it in stride and really put on a great show.

Apparently Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon were at the show (pictures @ brooklynvegan). I'm a bit sad I didn't see either of them - Bull Durham is way up on my all-time favorites list. I mean, I want to be Annie Savoy and screw Nuke LaLoosh! Doesn't every baseball-loving girl who's seen the movie?

Pass the brain bleach?

Teammates have tried Giambi's lucky thong to bust out of slumps

I don't even know what to say. When I first saw this headline (on Deadspin the other day), I really hoped it was thong sandals. Part of me thinks it's pretty funny that Giambi is secure enough with himself to divulge this in an interview but... it's not exactly a pleasant mental image. But Derek? Really? 

Although... "Pitchers need thongs too," is pretty fucking funny. Finding out Moose's whiteboard quote of the day has been one of the few consistently funny things about this season so far.

No More Devil

At what point does it no longer become okay to say "I can't believe we lost to the Devil Rays! I mean, they're the Rays!" Because I think we may have reached it.

Goddamn stupid overachieving AL East.

Wooooooo!

Needless to say, I'm excited. I'll try my hardest to behave myself, being that, you know, I'm in the 3RD ROW. 

He hits for power, average, and...

... he can fly!

Mooooooooose!

We're not booing him, we're yelling Bruuuuuuuuuuce Mooooooooooose! Sorry, wrong aging-yet-still-relevant star, there.

Moose's line today:

6 IP, 7 hits, 1 run, 0 walks, 5 strikeouts 

And he struck out the side in the 6th! Let's give credit where credit is due, with the exception of Boston - and even then, really, with the exception of facing Manny Ramirez - Moose has been pretty good this season.

Barry Barry Bad

I so totally called this: After 0-6 start, Giants move $126M ace Zito to bullpen

I think he'll work it out; I mean the law of averages seems to suggest he will. He always was a bit schizophrenic - I remember him starting the season opener against the Yankees in '06 and giving up 7 runs over not even two innings, but later that year starting Game 1 of the ALDS against Minnesota and giving up 2 runs over 8 innings at the Metrodome against Johan Santana, a game that had been all but conceded to the Twins.

He'll never be that pitcher that won the Cy Young again - that year was a bit of an anomaly even when he was pitching well - but he's smart and, what can I say, I have faith in my hotties.

Yarrrr!

After watching tonight's Yankees game, I am convinced that backup infielder Morgan Ensberg

is actually the same person as

Alan "Steve the Pirate" Tudyk of Firefly and Dodgeball fame. Which would explain why I haven't seen Tudyk in any movies/TV shows lately and why Ensberg was was so funny in his post-game interview today. So congratulations Morgan Ensberg. You will officially be known as Steve the Pirate from here on out.

Road Trip Aftermath

Quote of the weekend:

"Look... more Canada!"

Green Is Not a Primary Color

So yesterday, webmaster extroadinaire Karl Koch of weezer.com posted a few more tidbits about the band's upcoming album, including the cover photo and a press release about its release.

A screenshot of said press release is above (see the full-size thing here), and its description by Karl as "weird" is an understatement. 

I'm not incredibly well-versed in the writing of press releases, but I've read enough of them to know the basic format, and to know that typos and grammatical errors in something like this are completely unacceptable. And I'm pretty sure that most of them do not include links to Wikipedia. Or claim that green is a primary color.

Sunday Night Baseball Follies

I was watching the Mets/Phillies (because, as previously noted, I'm in love with Chase Utley) game on ESPN tonight and caught this little gem regarding Jose Reyes.

Miller: He plays with such joie de vivre--

Morgan: I don't know what that means, but yeah, he has a lot of fun.

Oh Jon Miller and Joe Morgan, dumbly harmless when commenting on any old game, frustratingly biased against the Yankees. 

Speaking of fun, you know what else is fun? Watching Chase Utley go 3 for 3 with two home runs.

Put down the blade and step away from the ledge

This is why Pete Abraham of the Journal News is my favorite Yankees beat blogger:

Hughes is the second-youngest player in the majors and the youngest pitcher. Most of us were in college when we were 21 and trying to scrape enough money for beer. He's the No. 3 starter for the Yankees. How about giving him a break?

Do I really need to remind people that the Yankees were 14.5 games out of first place last May and were driving around in a van picking up starting pitchers from homeless shelters and bus stations?

It's funny 'cuz it's true.

And for the record, I agree that Phil Hughes has the potential to be an awesome starter. Just... not quite yet. As has been tossed around the interwebs, it got worse before it got better for this guy too, and things turned out pretty well for him. Fingers crossed.

Danny Federici 1950-2008

The E Street Band has lost a brother. Danny, you will be missed. I consider myself all the more lucky for the show I saw in Philadelphia back in October.

=w=

New Weezer album June 24!

New single hearable now!

The All-Hottie Baseball Team: A Study in Pictures

Sometimes, when my bestest best pal Olie and I are bored (which is frequently), we daydream of living on a private island surrounded by tons of hot boys. Being baseball fans (although our allegiances lie with different teams), it's obvious that the island would have its own baseball team, comprised of the best and hottest there is. So come gaze upon the spectacle that is the 2008 All-Hottie Baseball Team.


Catcher:
Joe Mauer (MIN)

The man, the myth, the sideburns.

1B:
Mark Teixeira (ATL)

Representing the ATL.

2B:
Chase Utley (PHI)

Mmm... I like a boy who plays dirty.

SS:
Derek Jeter (NYY)

You never forget your first. Baseball crush, that is.

3B:
David Wright (NYM)

So cute and innocent-looking.

Bonus! Left side of the infield bonding!
(Link, 'cuz it's a big picture)

OF:
Grady Sizemore (CLE)

Grady Sizemore makes me happy that baseball pants are so tight.

(See for yourself)

Xavier Nady (PIT)

From the Pittsburgh Pirates... who knew?!

Jacoby Ellsbury (BOS)

It hurts my heart that he's on the Red Sox, but he's just too adorable, and we don't discriminate here at the All-Hottie Team.

Bench:
Robinson Cano (NYY) - INF

Don't be sad, Robbie! You're only on the bench because I felt guilty about stacking the starting lineup with Yankees.

Eric Chavez (OAK) - INF

He's cute, but he gets injured a lot (and is on the DL as I type). So we'll keep him on the bench where, if nothing else, he can look pretty.

Jeff Francoeur (ATL) - OF

A disciple of the David Wright school of dorky and adorable.

Javy Lopez - C

He didn't make it with the Braves this year, but there's room for Javy on this team!

Starting Pitchers:
Andy Pettitte (NYY)

Andy is dandy. It's the 'take-no-prisoners' glare peeking out between his hat brim and the top of his glove.

Mmm... yes.

Cole Hamels (PHI)

The Phillies have a really good-looking team. How does this happen to a town that booed Santa Claus?

Johan Santana (NYM)

Don' look surprised, Johan, you know you're hot stuff!

Dan Haren (ARI)

He's pitching for the Diamondbacks now, but used to play for the A's, a hotbed of... hotties. If there were ever a team for which to be a real-life Annie Savoy, the A's would be it.

Mike Mussina (NYY)

Dammit, it's my team and I'll put my favorite old guy on it if I want! Besides, every pitching staff needs a mentor and you've gotta admit, Moose still looks good.

Yes, Michael Kay, you fucking idiot, I know they're yelling "Moose" and not booing me.

Bullpen:
Joba Chamberlain (NYY)

So maybe he's not a hottie in the traditional sense. Don't care. Strikeouts are sexy. And he fucking dominates. Tell me you're not interested.

And tell me you don't think he's adorable as the Cowardly Lion during last year's Yankees rookie hazing.

Ross Ohlendorf (NYY)

He has the distinction of being one of the few players whose bio page picture doesn't look like it was taken at the DMV. Which is good because he's so green, there are barely any pictures of him floating around. Bonus points for vaguely resembling John Krasinski.

Barry Zito (SFG)

My ERA is going to be this many!
He's not the pitcher he used to be but let's be honest, he's too hot to not be on this list. He can still get the ball over the plate, which, when your starter totally chokes in the 2nd inning, is necessary sometimes. So what the hell, Barry Zito, you're a long reliever now. It was either that or team mascot, and you deserved a bit more dignity than that.

Joe Nathan (MIN)

The facial hair is questionable, but yeah, we like those boys that throw hard. There's a 'that's what she said' joke in there somewhere.

Huston Street (OAK)

Does anyone else think he has a porn star name? 'Cause here's a porn star-esque pose to accompany it. Not that I'm complaining...

This one was just too hot not to include.

Manager:
Tino Martinez

One of this writer's favorite retired hotties, and the perfect skipper for this team. Also, an excuse to throw in another picture of Derek Jeter.

Ugh.

Dear ESPN,

Now that you've finished broadcasting the Yankees-Red Sox game, please go back to fellating Red Sox Nation, since you clearly can't give the Yankees credit for anything they did well with your mouth so full of Red Sox d--

I should stop.

Can someone please explain how Joe Morgan and Jon Miller still have jobs? Or got said jobs in the first place?

Magical thinking your way to an AL Pennant

This weekend, the madness begins again. The first of many meetings between the New York Yankees and the Boston Red Sox. There are countless memorable moments between the two franchises but in my mind, none stands out as much as the following. So in honor of the season's first Yankees/Red Sox matchup, a little anecdote about baseball, magical thinking, and the Curse of the Bambino.*

In 2003, during the pivotal game 7 of the ALCS, it looked like the Red Sox were on the verge of beating the Yankees and going to the World Series. It goes without saying that I never imagined that happening during my freshman year of college - and if I had, I certainly wouldn't have sent the check to Boston University. It was also my first time watching Yankees playoff games without my superstitious sister by my side, and I was feeling a bit lonely.

The game did not start off well. The Yankees were down 4-0, thanks to an ineffective start by Roger Clemens, a favorite whipping boy of my sister and I. Mike Mussina had been doing an excellent job in relief, but through five innings, the Yankees had only managed to score one run. Concerned as to my sister's mental state, I called home.

"Dad?"

"I dunno, pal, doesn't look good for the Yankees."

"Well... Moose is pitching well."

"Yeah, but we gotta get some runs. Here, talk to your mother."

The phone was passed around the room, each family member telling me I was a braver person than he or she, being in Boston at a time like this. I told my parents to keep my sister away from any windows and or ledges, hung up, and pretended that reading for my English class would help me to get my mind off the impending tragedy. But who was I kidding. Trainwreck or no, I was a loyal Yankees fan, and I was going to see this game through to the end. Sure enough, things started picking up when Derek Jeter smacked a double to center field, and there appeared to be hope for the Yankees yet.

I got back on the phone, checking to make sure that the family hadn't given up hope just yet. Little did I know that I would be initiating a new baseball playoff tradition. The family certainly had NOT given up hope. In fact, my sister was downright ecstatic every time Yankees batters managed another hit or pitchers got a strikeout or clutch double play.

"Well, my phone battery is dying and I gotta go, but things are looking up, so maybe the Yankees will win after all," I said to my sister as I went to end the call.

"NOOOOO!" she shrieked into the phone, temporarily defeaning me. "You can't hang up because now the Yankees are rallying and if you hang up you could destroy the rally!"

This, it should be noted, was delivered in her patented "Monkey Screech," a manner of speaking where the words all come out as one and the pitch is only slightly lower than that of a dog whistle. I wasn't a superstitious person, but I dug out my phone charger, found a relatively convenient outlet, and plugged in my phone, keeping the chain unbroken.

"You see," my sister explained, "when you called, the Yankees had a huge rally. And if you hang up and the rally ends and the Yankees lose, then it will be ALL YOUR FAULT."

My sister subscribed wholeheartedly to the idea of magical thinking, which wasn't ordinarily my thing. But this was a special situation. And the prospect of coming home for Thanksgiving break and potentially being known around the house as the reason the Yankees lost the pennant was not something I wanted to live with. So I stayed on the line for the rest of the game, which eventually went into extra innings. The phone was passed from family member to family member as I sat on my dorm room bed, straining to watch the game on our TV with horrible reception.

And just when I thought that my cell phone might overheat, forever relegating me to be the reason the Yankees lost the ALCS in 2003 when it was actually the fault of my cellphone, Aaron Boone - he of the .176 batting average during the ALCS - came through with a home run in the bottom of the 11th. I threw the phone down and screamed. I heard screaming on the other end. My Red Sox fan roommate gave me a dirty look. The final score was 6-5, and the Yankees were going to the World Series.

A few brave Yankees fans had run outside and I could hear the chants of "LET'S GO YANK-KEES" and "BOSTON SUCKS" through the open window of my third floor room late into the night. I had an early class the next morning, but I didn't care. It was beautiful.

*Which was still in effect then.

Bizarro World

How is it that the Baltimore Orioles, who gave up on life this past offseason and traded away Miguel Tejada (which, after the Mitchell report may not have been that bad of a move) and Erik Bedard, have the best record in the AL at 6-1?

Oh yeah, it's business time!

From that Northwest bastion of indie rock and pop:

Flight of the Conchords.
Town Hall - New York, NY.
May 6 & 7.

I'm squealing, dog-whistle style. This is so awesome, even if it does mean another battle with Ticketmaster.

Prove It All Night with Derek Jeter*

There's been no shortage of pontificating on what's going to happen to the Yankees this season, what with hiring a new manager and all of A-Rod's off-season drama. But this is easily one of the awesomest Yankees previews I've read:

The Yankees and the Boss: Mash-up Style

A Yankees season preview in terms of Bruce Springsteen songs. Sweet.

*Yes, please!

Missing Mr. Torre

After the major letdown that was the Opening Day rainout, the Yankees opened up their season with a nice little victory over the Blue Jays and their ace, Roy Halliday. It's good to have baseball back.

Although for a Yankees fan that grew up with Joe Torre at the helm, it's a little disorienting to see him instead in Dodger blue, over in La La Land. But things seem to be off to a good start for him on the left coast, and there's a great article at ESPN.com about his trip with the Dodgers to China earlier this year. I have to agree with the piece's author: Torre just does seem to exude cool. As long as the Dodgers aren't playing the Yankees in interleague (or the World Series), I'll cheer for 'em.

Darkly Dreaming Dexter

I've just finished watching the first season of Dexter, which is a show I've wanted to get into for the longest time and just didn't, for various reasons. But happily, Showtime seems to be looking at Dexter as its flagship show and has the entire series available OnDemand. So I checked it out.

Holy shit. I am so in love with this show.

Dexter Morgan, our protagonist, is a forensic analyst for the Miami Police Department. In his free time, he's a serial killer. Moral relativism is the name of Dexter's game - yeah, he's a serial killer, but he only knocks off other serial killers. Traumatized as a young child, he lives by a code imparted to him by his foster father Harry which basically boils down to don't kill people unless they really deserve it. Season 1 follows the Miami PD as they attempt to track down the Ice Truck Killer, a serial killer who preys upon and dismembers prostitutes. The Ice Truck Killer plays a twisted game of cat and mouse with Dexter, ultimately revealing himself to be far more entangled in Dexter's life than Dexter ever could have imagined.

Dexter seems to be part of a growing trend on pay-cable shows where audiences are asked to sympathize with a seemingly despicable character - the most obvious being the mobster at the heart of The Sopranos, but the Travellers at the heart of The Riches (FX, which is kind of HBO/Showtime-lite) also fit the bill. Dexter does some nasty stuff, but the show never judges him. It lets you think what you want about him and his pastime, although I have to say that Dex is probably a bit more likable than Tony Soprano. Of course, your opinion may vary - which is kind of the beauty of it.

Oh, also, it's really pretty funny. Darkly funny, and ironic, not unlike the tone of a Coen Brothers movie. A huge part of what makes that work is Michael C. Hall, who does a bang-up job of being cold-bloodedly evil, immensely charming, and really funny. To say the role is different than the one he played on Six Feet Under is beyond an understatement. Other than a touch of OCD, Dexter Morgan and David Fisher have nothing in common. Including the fact that in five years of watching Six Feet Under, I never once found myself attracted to Hall but damn if I didn't want to jump Dexter's bones within the first ten minutes of the pilot. The tousled hair, sideburns (oh man am I a sucker for a nice set of sideburns), and perpetual stubble are a good look for him.

I'm just beginning season 2 of Dexter, and I was skeptical that the writers would be able to craft a season-long storyline that would be as engaging and revealing as the Ice Truck Killer. But as evidenced by the number of times I uttered "holy shit" and "fuck me, no way!" as I watched the first few episodes, I don't think it's going to disappoint. 

Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack

It may be cold and rainy in New York, but the calendar doesn't lie: it's Opening Day 2008. So, baseball fans, may your starting pitchers go the distance, your sluggers stay healthy, and your closers retain their stellar stuff. 

Unless you're playing against the Yankees.

Baseball's back. Hell yeah.

Automatic (LA Riots Remix)

This right here is a link to a trailer for the PS3 game Gran Turismo 5 Prologue.

Do I care about Gran Turismo 5 Prologue? Not particularly. But OMFG NEW WEEZER SONG (even if it is just a :40 second snippet).

New Weezer song! New Weezer song! New Weezer song!

Cooler and/or more important bands may enter my life, but Weezer will always be my favorite.

Late Night Love Affair

Conan, I have a confession to make. You know I love you and your irreverent humor and awesome hair and willingness to do stuff like install a hang glider in your studio. It's just that you've been in reruns this week and... well, I've been watching Craig Ferguson. And he's kind of awesome too and DAMMIT CRAIG FERGUSON STOP MAKING ME LOVE YOU!

It's the accent. Gets me every time...

Mister state trooper, please don't stop me

Woman stabs partner to death after fight over Bruce Springsteen - CNN.com

Ok, I know this is just so wrong but I read this story and LAUGHED. And then I thought well, you know, she was justified. And THEN I thought this would be a good warning to any future boyfriends of mine. 'Cause, you know, you don't fuck around with the Boss.

Album 6!!

Wow, I write it, and happens. Weezer announced yesterday that the new album is due out in June. Now they need to go on tour and play NY/NJ in July to complete my goal of seeing every band I've ever loved during that month.

Concert-going

So the Foo Fighters just announced a new show this summer at the Meadowlands on July 29th, and I'm debating if it's worth it to go. I was admittedly a bit underwhelmed by their setlist at the Garden, but by July, there's a good chance they'll change it up, especially when hitting an area that they hit on the first leg. And also, I'm on a mission to make the month of July the most event-filled ever. So far I've got Ricky Gervais and Bruce, and I'm hoping for another Bruce show (yeah I know, greedy), a Yankees game on my birthday and now maybe the Foos. (I'm also hoping for Eddie Izzard at the end of June, the Police at the beginning of August and Radiohead at some point during the summer when they announce US shows that aren't the All Points West festival.)

Now when is Weezer going to announce the release date (and potential tour, please) for Album #6? That would make my summer pretty fucking perfect.  

The Keith Richards/Steve Van Zant Honorary Head Scarf

When I play Guitar Hero and am feeling in a silly mood (which is a given when alcohol is involved), I like to wear what I have dubbed the "Keith Richards/Steve Van Zant Honorary Head Scarf." It's a black and white striped silk scarf that I got from H&M a while ago and I tie it around my head like everyone's favorite pirate daddy/mob consigliere in an effort to boost my Guitar Hero skills. Because, as anyone who plays the guitar knows, it's all about how you look when you play.

Anyway, I decided to wear my scarf this weekend at what essentially turned out to be a Guitar Hero summit at a friend's place. It was a fucking blast, and I both kicked ass and partied like a rock star. I think I partied a little too hard, though. When I finally got a look at myself in the mirror, hungover, wearing the same clothes I wore last night, with my massively disheveled hair tied up in the scarf, I had to laugh. I walked into the spare bedroom where everyone was congregating and announced that maybe I had been channeling Keith Richards a bit too much. After all that fun, I was starting to look as haggard as him. Of course, the good news is that this means that maybe I can channel Keith Richards enough to make myself indestructible, as good old Keith is perceived to be. The bad news is that, of course, I would look like Keith Richards.

Not Cool!

http://jezebel.com/364337/jessica-simpson-probably-spent-3000-on-this-outfit

I have the shirt that she's wearing, a vintage Bruce Springsteen tour shirt from 1985. This makes me feel a little dead inside, because I spent so much time looking for a sweet vintage Bruce shirt on eBay and finally got this one right before I went to the show in Philly and then I had so many people at the concert tell me that my shirt was awesome and it was like the Bruce crazies in Philly accepted me as one of their own and it was sweeeeet. (And that may have been one of the worst sentences I've ever written.) And Jessica Simpson is wearing the same shirt. Ew.

And you know what, I don't care that she probably couldn't name three Bruce songs if you asked her (okay maybe I do a little); that's not what makes me really angry. What makes me angry is that she's wearing MY SHIRT.

Speaking of Foo...

WANT

You make me dizzy running circles in my head

I keep thinking about the crowd at the Foo Fighters concert and how it wasn't at all what I expected hoped. I mean, front row in the pit, and you've got a girl looking at pictures on her camera from meeting Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal after Rent, a couple that spent the entire show making out (much to my chagrin), two girls who couldn't stop talking about Fall Out Boy, a kid who said the only Queens of the Stone Age song he knew was the one in Guitar Hero, and a ten year old kid and his older brother. Ten! That means the kid WAS NOT EVEN ALIVE when The Colour and The Shape came out. I'm having a bit of trouble wrapping my brain around that.

Actually, I didn't really have a problem with the ten year old so much as I did with the couple sucking face and the kid who didn't know anything about QOTSA. The ten year old just made me feel old, which, in turn made me think of the nerdy guys at the Bruce show back in October, and how my sister and I made them feel old. Circle of life, I guess. Or some shit like that.

Oh, I don't think my face is visible at all during the Fuse broadcast of the concert, which makes sense because the two times I remember looking at the cameras were during "This Is A Call" which didn't make it to air and another time when I was positive that the world's most irritating couple was making out and therefore completely blocking me out - and they did. But you can definitely see my arm raised in a salute to the rock* during "Breakout." I'm working on a screencap.

*I watched the Tenacious D movie twice while confined to the couch.

I'm finally not dying of pharangytis and what news is out there to celebrate this?

Season 2 of Flight of the Conchords won't be around until early 2009, thanks to the strike.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Yankees vs. the media, always a battle

Yankees To Play Exhibition Game Against The Media

Funniest Onion story I've read in some time. My favorite part is about not letting Michael Kay on the team. Oh and Bill Simmons sustaining a head wound that required 45 stitches.

I came, I saw, I Foo'd

Last night was the Foo Fighters show at MSG. It was pretty good, but I'm still feeling some residual tired-ness, and I've got some battle scars. Oh, and I was in the second fucking row. A more thorough review to come.

On an unrelated note, how phenomenal is the live version of "Prove It All Night" from the Darkness on the Edge of Town tour? Bruce's guitar work is mind-blowing. I don't think he gets the credit he deserves for his mad guitar skillz.

Yeah, I just typed skillz. Blame it on the concert-related injuries.

I totally saw this coming

I don't want to say that I'm predicting the future or anything, but I was watching Homicide the other night and thinking how cool it would be if Detective John Munch added another show to his roster of appearances and showed up on the last season of The Wire.

AND HE DID.

Want your mind blown even more? He was sitting at a bar a few seats down from a gentleman named Jay Landsman (Lt. Mello on the show)... who was featured prominently in David Simon's book Homicide and inspired the character of John Munch. 

Whoa.

Going off the rails on a crazy train

I've been taking the train to Manhattan for like 20 years now. Why does the NJTransit schedule decide to suddenly stop making sense? Also, I could be stranded in the city on Tuesday night.

Opening Day: 46 Days and Counting...

Can you feel that? That tingling sense of anticipation? Yes, today is a very important day, for pitchers and catchers report to their respective spring training complexes and baseball is officially underway!

It's also Valentine's Day, which, to be honest, I don't even have the energy to rant against this year. So instead, I'll combine the day's two events and declare my love for the youngsters on the Yankees pitching staff: Joba Chamberlain and Phil Hughes.

So... between the text messaging, the killer fastball, the bugs, the blog, the 7-inning no-hitter, the composure unheard of for a 21-year-old, and the t-shirt, it's official. You guys are kind of a big deal. Love ya, boys!

Let the countdown to Opening Day 2008 begin!

This is what it sounds like when doves cry

I stayed up tonight to watch Purple Rain which, surprisingly, I had never seen. My main thought, at the end of the film, is why doesn't weird shit like this get made today? I can totally see Fall Out Boy in a Purple Rain/Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey hybrid where faux punk rock saves the world from aliens or something. In fact, I might start writing that right now...

Woke up this morning...

How pathetically Jersey is this? When I was in LA, watching the opening credits of The Sopranos made me a bit homesick. 

I'm re-watching some episodes on demand, and now, of course, seeing the credits makes me think of being in LA being homesick for New Jersey, and all the warm weather and palm trees it entailed. I'm never satisfied...

Also, having Silvio aka Little Steven standing outside Madam Marie's on the Asbury Park boardwalk (season 2 finale) is pretty much one of the best pop culture references the show has done.

Say it ain't so!

Ok, this is probably the most disappointing news I've gotten in a while. Will Arnett, who was supposed to be the voice of KITT (and already recorded all the voiceover parts) in the Knight Rider TV movie that's going to be on next Sunday, is no longer going to do so because KITT is being "played" by a Ford Mustang and Arnett is the voice of GMC Trucks. He's being replaced by Val Kilmer.

I was actually going to watch it! But now... nah. Val Kilmer does nothing for me.

New York > Boston

Truly, my love for Jon Stewart knows no bounds.

18-1 is a beautiful thing

Giants 17, Patriots 14.

In the immortal words of Jason Bateman in Dodgeball, "I feel shocked."

In an awesome way, of course. Way to go, Big Blue.

There was a barber and his wife, and he was beautiful...

At this point in my life, there is no other way to describe a Tim Burton movie than as a momentous event in my life. This sounds overdramatic, but bear with me. Burton was my first "favorite" director, before I started getting pretentious and and into foreign films and other things of that nature, and Edward Scissorhands was the first DVD I ever bought. Burton remains one of my favorite directors, and, as I confessed to a friend the other day, I so want his films to be good, I actually get a bit nervous when I go to see them.

Such a line of thinking seems to set one up for disappointment, and yet, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street was anything but. You surely know the story of Sweeney Todd - falsely accused barber gets revenge by slitting the throats of those who have wronged him while the woman downstairs turns their bodies into filling for her meat pies - and if you didn't, you do now.

It seems like fodder for a z-grade horror movie, not a Broadway musical, and yet, it's been both. It is composer Stephen Sondheim's masterpiece, and although he is quite the imposing figure, Burton manages to put his own stamp on the film, allowing it to be both a Tim Burton film and a Stephen Sondheim film.

The gory, darkly humorous musical is almost too perfect for Burton, the only musical you could ever imagine him directing. Blood and gore, a gaunt, pale protagonist, a bleak story with touches of equally dark humor - all hallmarks of Burton's previous works, especially the ones with his favorite muse, Johnny Depp. Depp does a surprisingly excellent job with the notoriously complex score, and Helena Bonham Carter, although not quite as good as Depp, does an admirable job as well.

Visually, the film resembles Sleepy Hollow - de-saturated with vividly colored flashbacks emphasizing the contrast between then and now, and gushing geysers of red, red blood, which, frankly, look amazingly cool against the nearly black and white background. Reflections are everywhere in Sweeney Todd, from puddles on the dirty London streets to Sweeney's beloved razor to the shattered mirror in his shop - and notably, all of these reflections are in some way distorted. Whatever they are supposed to reflect - Sweeney's own perception of himself as a pariah, the morally ugly person he's become since being consumed by revenge - they are pretty awesome solely on a visual level. And while that's occasionally been the case with Tim Burton's films - visually stunning but a bit lacking in other areas - Sweeney Todd doesn't disappoint in any way.

A note: I realize the importance of timeliness and relevance - and a review of a film that is neither nominated for Best Picture or playing for more than one showing a week is neither timely nor relevant. But I loved the movie so much and really wanted to make sure that I did it justice with my review, and I took my time. So there.

Daniel Day-Lewis for President?

When I watch TV these days, I only see commercials for the New York Times' endorsement of Hillary Clinton and Paul Thomas Anderson's film There Will Be Blood. They are starting to meld into one. 

There Will Be Hillary.

Eerily prophetic, or way off balance? I suppose only the future will tell. But can't you hear it? Instead of hearing the commercial begin with "I'm Hillary Clinton, and I approve this message," she would instead be screaming, "I've abandoned my boy!"

I don't know, it really sounded funnier in my head.

L&Oh no

So Sam Waterston is no longer in the Law & Order credits march. This makes me super sad.

Santanamania!

So is anyone else a bit puzzled that Johan Santana ended up with the Mets? I'm not familiar with the Mets' farm system, so I can't really speak to the quality of the prospects they sent to the Twins but... they're just that. Prospects. Both the Yankees and Red Sox offered young players with proven MLB experience, and yet, the Twins went with the Mets.

I'm not complaining, though. I'm glad the Yankees were able to hold on to Melky and Phil Hughes, and I'm glad that they won't have to face Santana more than once or twice a year in interleague play.

I still love ya, Tim!

Man, what does Tim Burton have to do to get some Oscar love? This year was a particularly strong crop of directors but... nothing for Ed Wood, nothing for Big Fish, and now nothing for Sweeney Todd.

Boo.

Momentary Panic

When Late Night with Conan O'Brien started tonight, I was temporarily taken aback. Conan was beardless. And it wasn't until the point in his monologue when he spoke about a "big sporting event" that was the NBA Finals (which take place in the spring) and not the Giants' victory over the Packers that I realized it was a rerun.

I did think the idea of Adam Sandler crossing the picket line was pretty odd...

Mmm... scruffy

Yup. Definitely a fan of the strike beard.

I am unable to deny my nerdery

So yeah, it kind of sucks that there aren't any A-list actors on the non-CBS talk shows, but Brian Williams and Tom Brokaw are easily two of the best interviews Conan's had in a while.

Yeah, I'm also a huge nerd.

Yippie-kay-yay, motherfucker!

I think it bears repeating that Bruce Willis in Die Hard is way more attractive than you remember. Seriously. Also, this might be one of the funniest things ever:

I am an idiot

I love when I'm an idiot and for some reason, think The Wire is on at 10 PM instead of 9. Well really, I don't love it. Thankfully it's on again at 10:30. 

ETA: Oh McNulty. Why why why??? Even despite being pained at McNulty's bad decision (he's an alcoholic, but I don't think he's a bad person), it's still the best hour currently on TV. I know that's not saying much considering what's on TV in these strike days but to quote Kevin on The Office, it's awesome.

Murder Unscripted

I'm sure you've been following the clusterfuck that is the writers strike. Here is what would have to be my favorite "without writers TV is history" video, "Murder Unscripted," featuring a smattering of actors who have all appeared on yours truly's favorite show, Law & Order:

Strike Beard Love

Am I the only one that's finding Conan O'Brien with Strike Beard kind of hot? I mean, I've always had a bit of a crush on Conan - as I do love me some geek boys - but the beard is bringing it to a whole new level.

The Wire!

The Wire is back on and I'm so psyched. It feels like the only thing to look forward to in the doldrums of the writers strike.

I don't love it quite as much as Homicide (but that's just a matter of personal preference), another criminally underwatched show from the mind of David Simon, but even if the strike wasn't turning television into a reality television wasteland, The Wire would still be the best thing on. Check it out, I promise you won't be disappointed.

There's Something About (Hating) Ticketmaster

When I bought Ricky Gervais tickets for my parents to give to me for Christmas, it was a tossup as to which date to get tickets for - I pulled up nearly identical seats for both shows. So I went for the 15th. How was I supposed to know that July 15th was the date for the baseball all-star game at Yankee Stadium?

Not that that's going to be an easy (or cheap) ticket, but.... boo.

Semi-related (because the Ricky Gervais tickets arrived today and I was looking at them), I'm no consumer advocate, but doesn't it seem that any and everyone who buys a ticket to a concert/performance/sporting event is getting royally raped by Ticketmaster? There is a disclaimer on the back of the ticket saying TIME, OPPONENT, ROSTERS AND DATE SUBJECT TO CHANGE. ENJOY THE EVENT! So in addition to tacking an additional $20 onto your order for the "convenience" of doing battle with the scalpers' automated programs so you can buy a ticket in the upper tier, you are seemingly not guaranteed to see the event you paid for. Lovely!

I hate you, Ticketmaster. 

Foo!

When I was in middle school, I loved staying home from school because I could watch Saturday Night Live reruns on Comedy Central (you can probably trace my desire to be a comedy writer back to then) and music videos on MTV. Sure, Real World reruns were more plentiful on the channel, but there actually were a few music videos on, and if you were lucky, you'd see some classics directed by Spike Jonze (namely from the oeuvre of the Beastie Boys).

I thought back then that maybe someday, I'd get my big break via music video - befriend some up and coming band, offer to shoot a video for them in return for the exposure but now, what good is a music video when there's no outlet for it? I mean, sure, there's YouTube, but you can't intentionally manufacture a viral sensation, you know? And so if you make a music video now, exactly why are you doing it? If someone doesn't know your band, they won't seek you out on YouTube, whereas in a block of videos, it is possible that a band might be exposed to someone who isn't already familiar with their music.

Anyway, all of this is because the Foo Fighters just keep making hilarious, awesome videos, regardless of MTV's failure to live up to their 'M.' It involves 70s porn star mustaches, killer sideburns, Rashida Jones, and lots of screaming girls. Watch it and be awed.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=68qqym-_K4w

I think I'm kind of crushing on new L&O executive assistant DA Michael Cutter (aka Linus Roache). He's no Jack McCoy, that's for damn sure, but I kind of like him. And I'm loving Jeremy Sisto as the new cop. It may never be the same post-Jerry Orbach, but I think this new lineup has a lot of potential (even though it did make me really sad to see the credits march without Sam Waterston).

Also, I went to see Juno today (awesome, full review to follow) and among the trailers was one for Made of Honor, a My Best Friend's Wedding ripoff starring Patrick Dempsey. The movie looks horrendous, but there were two really well-orchestrated bits of physical comedy involving Dempsey crashing into a waiter at a restaurant in the trailer. Well played, crappy romantic comedy trailer, well played.

It's 2008

Happy New Year, I suppose...

I think Frank Costanza was really on to something with Festivus. I've pretty much had it with the whole Christmas thing.

Hope everyone else's holiday was more enjoyable than mine.

Ugh

So I visit Variety.com to check the latest bad news about the writers strike (today's update: WGA refused to give a waiver to the Golden Globes and will probably be picketing it) and what is one of the top stories?

A-Rod Bats for Oseary's Team

This, sadly, is not a reference to A-Rod's sexuality, but an article about the manager he just signed with. He didn't drop Boras, but he's definitely marginalizing him, and man, does he ever hate Boras now or what?

But yeah, just what the always-disheartening news about the WGA strike needs: More A-Rod...

Ricky Gervais, Comedy Genius

Firstly, The Extras Christmas Special = amazing. I'm about five seconds from busting out the Office Christmas special since (a) it's the appropriate season and (b) the Extras special reminded me of how freaking good it was. I didn't think there was any way it could compare to the Office special, but it was definitely up there.

Secondly, what is up with selling concert tickets seven months in advance of the event? First Bruce, now Ricky Gervais doing standup at MSG on July 14-15, with tickets going on sale on Tuesday. After Saturday's debacle, I don't know if I have the mettle to do battle with Ticketmaster again so soon, but man oh man do I want to see his standup show.

BRUUUUUUUUUUUCE

Well it's not exactly the triumph I was hoping for but, I'll take it:

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

Giants Stadium East Rutherford, NJ

Mon, Jul 28, 07:30 PM

QTY

4

SEC

12

ROW

16

DESCRIPTION

Price Level 1

FLOOR SEATING

It's the back of the floor, but it's the floor nonetheless. And don't think that's the only show we're going to see. One way or another, I think we'll be getting some GA's. But for my parents, who haven't been spoiled by being up close, I think this will do just fine.

Oh, and thanks a lot, Ticketmaster, for the $55 in convenience fees. It's like you don't even have to try to be more hated than you already are.

The American Public Doesn't Know Shit

What the fuck is wrong with this country? The top ten albums of the year?

1. Daughtry Daughtry
2. Konvicted Akon
3. The Dutchess Fergie
4. Hannah Montana Soundtrack
5. Some Hearts Carrie Underwood
6. All the Right Reasons Nickelback
7. Futuresex/Lovesounds Justin Timberlake
8. High School Musical 2 Soundtrack
9. Now 23 Various Artists
10. Minutes to Midnight Linkin Park

I don't know what's worse, the list being topped by an American Idol also-ran, or the fact that people actually like the musical equivalent of syrup of Ipecac known as Nickelback. Ew ew ew. God, it's all so bad.

Celebrities Should Keep Their Mouths Shut

Dear Katherine Heigl,

If you're going to complain that Knocked Up is sexist, how about picking something other than a shitty, cliche-ridden romantic comedy for your follow-up, to, you know, actually make a point or something?

You Spin Me Round

I used to have a subscription to Spin Magazine. After a few years, I cancelled my subscription because I came to the conclusion that the magazine thought it was much cooler than it actually was, and also because they put a picture of a shirtless, greased-up Scott Stapp and his band Creed on the cover once and I swear it almost made me lose my lunch. 

But for the first time since I cancelled my subscription, I bought an issue of Spin. Win Butler of Arcade Fire and Bruce Springsteen. On the same cover. Each talking about how awesome the other is. I think this is the music journalism equivalent of putting Chunky Monkey and the other Ben & Jerry's that tastes like Bailey's Irish Cream and Guiness in the same container. Anyway, it's supremely interesting and hearing that Bruce enjoys Rihanna's "Umbrella" makes me feel way less guilty about singing along with it while stuck in traffic on the freeway in LA. The article - which is less of an article and more of a transcript - is heads and shoulders above the rest of the issue and generally above what my general opinion is of Spin.

Bruce has only recently come into vogue in the hipster set - I spent much time in college trying to convince others of his awesomeness to no avail - and while he owns the hearts of 40-year-old single men such as the ones we chatted with while waiting for the concert, I don't think he's quite captured the hearts of 20-somethings as much as the editors of Spin might like to think (I'll be the first to admit that my tastes run slightly outside the mainstream). But it's a good read if you like either artist, and an even better read if you like 'em both.

Analogy time:

The Mob is to Michael Corleone as baseball is to Andy Pettitte. (As in, every time he thinks he's out, it pulls him back in.) And this is a good thing.

Now let's get this Santana situation locked down. 

Mmmmm, tuna

A public service announcement to say that the Ahi Tuna Chopped Salad at Outback Steakhouse is one of the best things I've had at a chain restaurant in quite some time.

That is all.

Oh dear, it's December now. 

In the immortal words of my dad, "When the hell did this happen?"

Ugh.

2/19/08

I got all excited this morning because I was convinced that I had beaten the system - the system being Ticketmaster. But when you think about it, logging on and buying a ticket to a concert during a fan pre-sale is not beating the system. It's doing exactly what the system is supposed to do.

Oh, whatever. I am in possession of a general admission ticket to see the Foo Fighters play Madison Square Garden on February 19th. I'm psyched. Beyond psyched, really. And a bit impressed, as I told the world to stop sucking, and it did, at least a little bit.

But Ticketmaster can still suck it for being such a bitch during the Bruce Springsteen ticket frenzy - the tickets for the Philly show weren't sold through Ticketmaster so I've still got some Bruce-related demons to resolve there (hopefully this summer at Giants Stadium).

A more substantial rant on Ticketmaster to follow.

Stop sucking, everything.

I wish I had some happy, funny pop-culture-y rant to write about but frankly, I haven't really been in the mood to write anything other than a super angry rant against the world. So I'll just say this:

Stop sucking, life. 

Stop sucking, humanity.

Stop sucking, world.

Yeah, I'm not so much a fan of the holiday season.

Also, I'm having a bit of trouble dealing with yet another snub. I thought I stopped caring, but apparently I've been thinking too highly of myself lately.

But that's neither here nor there. In continuing the theme of sharing my injuries, it should be mentioned that I managed to burn a perfect isosceles triangle into the flesh on the inside of my arm just below my wrist while removing a pumpkin pie from the oven.  

With dinner in about an hour, I can already feel the food coma coming on, even though I haven't started stuffing my face yet. No matter, it'll be good. Food will be eaten, naps will be taken, and inevitably, we'll all end up back downstairs on the couch to watch "Elf."

Happy Thanksgiving!

I woke up this morning, saw the snow coming down, and turned over and went back to sleep. I'm not ready for winter.

They call it a flight cause it takes you up to heaven...

Ok, let's review:

Sexy accents - check.

Guitar playing skills - check.

Ability to make me laugh - check.

It's official. Bret and Jemaine of Flight of the Conchords are the ideal mate for me (either one of them... or both, actually, that could work).

Jemaine gets bonus points for the sweet sideburns he sported during the show. Ah, the return of the great muttonchop debate....

God, I want to kiss you on the mouth to stop you from saying such ridiculous things.

Last year, when I was taking a comedy writing class, I had a discussion with my professor about 30 Rock, which had just premiered. "It's a good concept," he said, "and Alec Baldwin is really brilliant, but I just don't know if it will work out. But it almost seems like they're letting her develop the show on the air. We'll have to see how it turns out." He was right to be skeptical - the show had a bit of a rough start. But it found its footing, and I have to say, I think it may have surpassed The Office for my favorite sitcom on television right now.

In a way, it's like 30 Rock has become the spiritual heir to the throne of wonderful absurdity upon which Arrested Development sat. Is it a coincidence that both shows won an Emmy for Best Comedy Series after premiering to low ratings but high critical praise? Like Arrested, 30 Rock manages to combine political commentary, dirty jokes, physical comedy and sharp satire all while telling a coherent story and throwing in callbacks to the most wonderfully silly parts of episodes past (Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, I'm talking about you). And it doesn't hurt that Arrested cast member Will Arnett has already put in two guest appearances on the show.

So that's pretty much it. I thought I had some more insight, but really, no. Just watch the show. It will blow your mind grapes away.

A-Rod: The Sequel

A-Rod, Yankees closing in on 10-year, $275 million deal

Oh A-Rod. Although the mental picture of you crawling back to the Yankees and begging for your job amuses me to no end, I must say I'm a bit surprised at how this all played out. And a bit disappointed, as I was ready to put an end to the A-Rod in pinstripes era. If this alleged humility - which caused said crawling - shows up during the season, I'll be pleasantly surprised, but I'm not holding my breath. 

Law & Order: Shark Jumping Unit

I have made no secret of my love of all things Law & Order. There is something very reassuring about always being able to find it in reruns, and I was a bit bummed that I wasn't able to see the French version during the short time I spent in France two summers ago (although that could be because I spent 95% of my time there seeing movies and getting hammered).

Even though I love L&O so, every now and then, the show does something so incredibly stupid that I can't possibly fathom why I love the show so. Take the last episode of of SVU, for example. I know the show wouldn't be the same without our beloved detectives and attorneys taking everything personally, but there reaches a certain point where it gets a bit ridiculous. I'm speaking, of course, of the fact that the seemingly countless schizophrenic perps that have passed through the system have had no effect on Casey Novak but suddenly this one caused her to throw the case. Um, okay. Despite the ridiculous "Elliott is blind - well, only for ten minutes" subplot, it had the makings of two-thirds of a decent episode. And then it got ridiculous.

Ok writers, you want to give Casey a backstory? Fine. But why make it about something that even the most casual SVU viewer could remember the show dealing with in the recent past without reaction from her? Unrelated, stop pushing the "Elliott and Olivia want to fuck" agenda. And for the love of god, give Richard Belzer more than just one scene an episode!

On the plus side, tonight's episode had Jack McCoy! His first official appearance as District Attorney! As much as I am saddened that we will no longer get the classic McCoy courtroom speeches, Although the casting director seemed to be trying hard to not let people forget about Fred Thompson, as the perp's attorney had an accent nearly identical to that of DA Arthur Branch...

I don't rap about bitches and hos I rap about witches and trolls

Last week, the Gods of Entertainment bestowed upon us the gift of the Flight of the Conchords DVDs. I fell hard for the Conchords this summer, and quite appreciated HBO's policy of rerunning episodes until I could practically recite them from memory.

The downfall to this, of course, was that they eventually stopped showing Conchords episodes, and like nicotine and alcohol, zany New Zealanders were a hard substance to give up cold turkey. But now the DVD is here, and yay. Twelve wonderfully absurd episodes of singing, band meetings, angry dancing, and crazy fans fan.

Unfortunately, that's it. Not a single bonus feature is on the disc, which is disappointing for a number of reasons. First, HBO sent around a survey about Flight of the Conchords around the time that they announced they had picked it up for a second season which included a question about what kind of bonus features you wanted to see on the DVD. That seems to imply that they would include some sort of bonus features on the disc, right? Second, there were a number of behind-the-scenes clips available on OnDemand/as part of the Flight of the Conchords podcast, and even if they were just recycled for the DVD, that at least would have been something. The same for Mel's video diaries, featured on the HBO site.

I was really keeping my fingers crossed for the inclusion of the Conchords' HBO "standup" special, but alas, no go. I'm hopeful that a future Conchords DVD release will feature some of these extra goodies, but with season two threatened by the writers' strike, who knows what will happen.

All that bitching aside, the episodes are amazing and really don't need any extra bells and whistles. If you're not hooked by "Mugged," you probably don't have a sense of humor. Or you like According to Jim. Now if only HBO would wise up and find a lead-in for the Conchords that is more appropriate than the frat boy "humor" of Entourage.

Completely unrelated to New Zealand's fourth most popular folk-parody duo, I have to say that I'm absolutely in love with Chuck, both the show and the character. Kudos to whoever put Britney Spears' "Toxic" in tonight's episode (so oddly inappropriate and therefore, perfect). And is it me, or does Zachary Levi look like a cross between Paul Rudd and John Krasinski?

Veronica Mars is my Girlcrush

I know, I know, I really missed the boat on this one. But Veronica Mars is kind of awesome. Like my beloved Arrested Development, it was a fiercely loved cult show that only made it three seasons. And I'll admit, even though I read glowing reviews of the show, I didn't really give it a chance because I was sick of getting really into shows that were likely to end up cancelled. And now I'm sad that I never gave the show a chance because it's really, really good.

I've only finished season 1, so I can't yet speak to the quality of seasons 2 or 3 except to say that I did see part of the episode from season 2 with Michael Cera (George Michael from the aforementioned Arrested Development) but didn't understand any of the reoccurring storylines. But season 1 was awesome. It was written way better than a show about a high school girl cum detective had any right to be. Just awesome.

I think what elevated Veronica Mars above your typical high school TV show is that it wasn't a teen soap, nor did it try to solve the problems facing American youth (Beverly Hills, 90210, I'm talking about you). It took a completely absurd idea - high school junior as hardened gumshoe - but kept the rest of the show grounded in reality. The protagonist was Sam Spade bitching about algebra homework. Theoretically, this shouldn't work, which means that it was totally awesome. 

I know a lot of people thought it was highly influenced by Buffy, and I can't really speak to that as I never could get on that train. But I can definitely see the influence of Twin Peaks, and in a much better way than the train wreck (that hopefully will no longer be a train wreck this season although thanks to the writers' strike, who knows what we'll see) that currently is Lost.

And seriously people, Kristen Bell is all kinds of awesome. Love her!

In the revisionist history of my mind, I like to pretend that I was as cool as Veronica in high school, above all the bullshit and pretentiousness that came with having to deal with the assholes that were my classmates.  I wasn't. But I'm glad that Rob Thomas created Veronica Mars and gave me the opportunity to pretend. 

My ears! Ahhh!

Sometime last year... actually, just about a year ago now, the lovely and talented Matt Nathanson came to BU to play a show. He put on a great show, including reading excerpts from a soft-core porn novel, posing for pictures and signing autographs after the show, and was an all-around awesome guy. 

But the band he had opening for him - did. not. like. There weren't a huge amount of people at the show and frankly, I felt pretty awkward standing there watching this band that I thought sucked. It was a school event, so there was no bar to which I could steal away, and at one point, I freaked out, leaned over to my friend and whispered "I think the lead singer just made eye contact with me and that kind of weirds me out." Ah memories.

Anyway, I hadn't thought much about Carbon Leaf lately, as I really had no reason to have them on my mind. Until the other night. I was searching the Bruce Springsteen MP3 Bootleg Index (an excellent resource for any and all unreleased Bruce ephemera) for an MP3 of "Fire," a song that never made it onto any of his albums, when I came across a cover version of "I'm On Fire" by none other than.... Carbon Leaf.

At first I just laughed, but my morbid curiosity got the best of me and I had to give it a listen, which I knew was a mistake. I mean, Carbon Leaf doesn't really deserve all this wrath from me, but they're like Dave Matthews Band-lite, and that's just a vibe I can't get behind. Anyway, Carbon Leaf's version lacks the slow burning (burning... fire... get it) sensuality of Bruce's original. I mean, why cover a song like that if you're going to sing it like a robot?

Sigh. Some days, I really worry that I might end up a real-life female version of Rob, Dick, and/or Barry from High Fidelity, wasting my life away working retail, trying to feel better about myself by putting down others' taste in music. 

Oh man.

Sexiest. Mugshot. Ever.

Thank you Smoking Gun, for bringing this to my attention.

Cannot stop listening to Mike Doughty's "I Hear the Bells."

Signs of the Apocalypse: Music Edition

In the latest music news, Britney Spears was denied the number one spot on the charts this week because Billboard suddenly decided to start counting albums sold at a single retailer. This means that The Eagles, who are selling their new album only at Wal-Mart, snatched the top spot away from her.

There are so many things wrong/weird/confusing about this. Where do I even start?

1. Britney Spears would have had the number one album in the country despite the only thing she has done in the way of promotion is flash her ladyparts to a few cameras. I've heard that if Britney's music is your thing, this album is actually pretty good, and that's not my thing, so I can't really argue that. But seriously people, aren't we over the whole Britney thing yet? I actually almost feel sorry for her and her complete inability to function as a normal human being. Almost.

2. The Eagles have the number 1 album in the country. Really? The Eagles? And to my surprise...

3. ...The Eagles have the best-selling album in America in history. Their Greatest Hits: 1971-1975 has sold more copies than Thriller, Led Zeppelin IV, The Wall, Born In The USA, Jagged Little Pill, Appetite For Destruction, etc. Yet I could name you more people who purchased all of those albums than have purchased that Eagles greatest hits compilation. I was going to say that I don't know a single person that owns this album, but that would actually be incorrect, as I looked it up on Amazon and realized that my dad definitely had a tape of it that got tossed around the back seat of the car for a while until sun damage ultimately rendered it unplayable. That being said, I love my dad dearly, but a love of great music has never been his strong suit.

4. And finally, the most offensive part of this whole ordeal: the fact that The Eagles are selling this new album at Wal-Mart exclusively. I'm pretty sure that Wal-Mart is the earthly incarnation of hell and its executive board is comprised of Satan's minions (see the excellent documentary Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Prices for more info - also, it gets bonus points for using a live version of Bruce singing "This Land Is Your Land"), and I can't possibly think of anything good that a Wal-Mart exclusive says about your band. So why?

More Funny eBay Finds

The previous entry and all its bilingual Bon Jovi fun was brought to you by the wonder that is eBay, as is this gem:

In case you can't read that, it's an auction for the 1978 album "Darkness On The Edge Of Town" by everyone's favorite 80's heartthrob "Rick Springsteen."

Heh

Viviendo en una Oracion

Trying to explain why certain things are funny is like trying to explain why human beings are put on this planet. It involves a lot of philosophy and theory and depends on your worldview and is ultimately best left up to "just because."

The song titles from Bon Jovi's "Slippery When Wet," listed in Spanish on a Mexican edition of their 1986 album are one such thing. Why? Who knows. Will you find it funny? Maybe, maybe not. But I did. So I'm sharing.

1. DEJALO EN EL ROCK

2. LE HAS DADO UN MAL NOMBRE AL AMOR

3. VIVIENDO EN UNA ORACION

4. ENFERMEMDAD SOCIAL

5. SE BUSCA VIVO O MUERTO

6. LEVANTA LAS MANOS

7. SIN AMOR

8. MORIRA POR TI

9. NUNCA DIGAS ADIOS

10. CALLES SALVAJES