Darkly Dreaming Dexter

I've just finished watching the first season of Dexter, which is a show I've wanted to get into for the longest time and just didn't, for various reasons. But happily, Showtime seems to be looking at Dexter as its flagship show and has the entire series available OnDemand. So I checked it out.

Holy shit. I am so in love with this show.

Dexter Morgan, our protagonist, is a forensic analyst for the Miami Police Department. In his free time, he's a serial killer. Moral relativism is the name of Dexter's game - yeah, he's a serial killer, but he only knocks off other serial killers. Traumatized as a young child, he lives by a code imparted to him by his foster father Harry which basically boils down to don't kill people unless they really deserve it. Season 1 follows the Miami PD as they attempt to track down the Ice Truck Killer, a serial killer who preys upon and dismembers prostitutes. The Ice Truck Killer plays a twisted game of cat and mouse with Dexter, ultimately revealing himself to be far more entangled in Dexter's life than Dexter ever could have imagined.

Dexter seems to be part of a growing trend on pay-cable shows where audiences are asked to sympathize with a seemingly despicable character - the most obvious being the mobster at the heart of The Sopranos, but the Travellers at the heart of The Riches (FX, which is kind of HBO/Showtime-lite) also fit the bill. Dexter does some nasty stuff, but the show never judges him. It lets you think what you want about him and his pastime, although I have to say that Dex is probably a bit more likable than Tony Soprano. Of course, your opinion may vary - which is kind of the beauty of it.

Oh, also, it's really pretty funny. Darkly funny, and ironic, not unlike the tone of a Coen Brothers movie. A huge part of what makes that work is Michael C. Hall, who does a bang-up job of being cold-bloodedly evil, immensely charming, and really funny. To say the role is different than the one he played on Six Feet Under is beyond an understatement. Other than a touch of OCD, Dexter Morgan and David Fisher have nothing in common. Including the fact that in five years of watching Six Feet Under, I never once found myself attracted to Hall but damn if I didn't want to jump Dexter's bones within the first ten minutes of the pilot. The tousled hair, sideburns (oh man am I a sucker for a nice set of sideburns), and perpetual stubble are a good look for him.

I'm just beginning season 2 of Dexter, and I was skeptical that the writers would be able to craft a season-long storyline that would be as engaging and revealing as the Ice Truck Killer. But as evidenced by the number of times I uttered "holy shit" and "fuck me, no way!" as I watched the first few episodes, I don't think it's going to disappoint. 

Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jack

It may be cold and rainy in New York, but the calendar doesn't lie: it's Opening Day 2008. So, baseball fans, may your starting pitchers go the distance, your sluggers stay healthy, and your closers retain their stellar stuff. 

Unless you're playing against the Yankees.

Baseball's back. Hell yeah.

Automatic (LA Riots Remix)

This right here is a link to a trailer for the PS3 game Gran Turismo 5 Prologue.

Do I care about Gran Turismo 5 Prologue? Not particularly. But OMFG NEW WEEZER SONG (even if it is just a :40 second snippet).

New Weezer song! New Weezer song! New Weezer song!

Cooler and/or more important bands may enter my life, but Weezer will always be my favorite.

Late Night Love Affair

Conan, I have a confession to make. You know I love you and your irreverent humor and awesome hair and willingness to do stuff like install a hang glider in your studio. It's just that you've been in reruns this week and... well, I've been watching Craig Ferguson. And he's kind of awesome too and DAMMIT CRAIG FERGUSON STOP MAKING ME LOVE YOU!

It's the accent. Gets me every time...

Mister state trooper, please don't stop me

Woman stabs partner to death after fight over Bruce Springsteen - CNN.com

Ok, I know this is just so wrong but I read this story and LAUGHED. And then I thought well, you know, she was justified. And THEN I thought this would be a good warning to any future boyfriends of mine. 'Cause, you know, you don't fuck around with the Boss.

Album 6!!

Wow, I write it, and happens. Weezer announced yesterday that the new album is due out in June. Now they need to go on tour and play NY/NJ in July to complete my goal of seeing every band I've ever loved during that month.

Concert-going

So the Foo Fighters just announced a new show this summer at the Meadowlands on July 29th, and I'm debating if it's worth it to go. I was admittedly a bit underwhelmed by their setlist at the Garden, but by July, there's a good chance they'll change it up, especially when hitting an area that they hit on the first leg. And also, I'm on a mission to make the month of July the most event-filled ever. So far I've got Ricky Gervais and Bruce, and I'm hoping for another Bruce show (yeah I know, greedy), a Yankees game on my birthday and now maybe the Foos. (I'm also hoping for Eddie Izzard at the end of June, the Police at the beginning of August and Radiohead at some point during the summer when they announce US shows that aren't the All Points West festival.)

Now when is Weezer going to announce the release date (and potential tour, please) for Album #6? That would make my summer pretty fucking perfect.  

The Keith Richards/Steve Van Zant Honorary Head Scarf

When I play Guitar Hero and am feeling in a silly mood (which is a given when alcohol is involved), I like to wear what I have dubbed the "Keith Richards/Steve Van Zant Honorary Head Scarf." It's a black and white striped silk scarf that I got from H&M a while ago and I tie it around my head like everyone's favorite pirate daddy/mob consigliere in an effort to boost my Guitar Hero skills. Because, as anyone who plays the guitar knows, it's all about how you look when you play.

Anyway, I decided to wear my scarf this weekend at what essentially turned out to be a Guitar Hero summit at a friend's place. It was a fucking blast, and I both kicked ass and partied like a rock star. I think I partied a little too hard, though. When I finally got a look at myself in the mirror, hungover, wearing the same clothes I wore last night, with my massively disheveled hair tied up in the scarf, I had to laugh. I walked into the spare bedroom where everyone was congregating and announced that maybe I had been channeling Keith Richards a bit too much. After all that fun, I was starting to look as haggard as him. Of course, the good news is that this means that maybe I can channel Keith Richards enough to make myself indestructible, as good old Keith is perceived to be. The bad news is that, of course, I would look like Keith Richards.

Not Cool!

http://jezebel.com/364337/jessica-simpson-probably-spent-3000-on-this-outfit

I have the shirt that she's wearing, a vintage Bruce Springsteen tour shirt from 1985. This makes me feel a little dead inside, because I spent so much time looking for a sweet vintage Bruce shirt on eBay and finally got this one right before I went to the show in Philly and then I had so many people at the concert tell me that my shirt was awesome and it was like the Bruce crazies in Philly accepted me as one of their own and it was sweeeeet. (And that may have been one of the worst sentences I've ever written.) And Jessica Simpson is wearing the same shirt. Ew.

And you know what, I don't care that she probably couldn't name three Bruce songs if you asked her (okay maybe I do a little); that's not what makes me really angry. What makes me angry is that she's wearing MY SHIRT.

Speaking of Foo...

WANT

You make me dizzy running circles in my head

I keep thinking about the crowd at the Foo Fighters concert and how it wasn't at all what I expected hoped. I mean, front row in the pit, and you've got a girl looking at pictures on her camera from meeting Anthony Rapp and Adam Pascal after Rent, a couple that spent the entire show making out (much to my chagrin), two girls who couldn't stop talking about Fall Out Boy, a kid who said the only Queens of the Stone Age song he knew was the one in Guitar Hero, and a ten year old kid and his older brother. Ten! That means the kid WAS NOT EVEN ALIVE when The Colour and The Shape came out. I'm having a bit of trouble wrapping my brain around that.

Actually, I didn't really have a problem with the ten year old so much as I did with the couple sucking face and the kid who didn't know anything about QOTSA. The ten year old just made me feel old, which, in turn made me think of the nerdy guys at the Bruce show back in October, and how my sister and I made them feel old. Circle of life, I guess. Or some shit like that.

Oh, I don't think my face is visible at all during the Fuse broadcast of the concert, which makes sense because the two times I remember looking at the cameras were during "This Is A Call" which didn't make it to air and another time when I was positive that the world's most irritating couple was making out and therefore completely blocking me out - and they did. But you can definitely see my arm raised in a salute to the rock* during "Breakout." I'm working on a screencap.

*I watched the Tenacious D movie twice while confined to the couch.

I'm finally not dying of pharangytis and what news is out there to celebrate this?

Season 2 of Flight of the Conchords won't be around until early 2009, thanks to the strike.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Yankees vs. the media, always a battle

Yankees To Play Exhibition Game Against The Media

Funniest Onion story I've read in some time. My favorite part is about not letting Michael Kay on the team. Oh and Bill Simmons sustaining a head wound that required 45 stitches.

I came, I saw, I Foo'd

Last night was the Foo Fighters show at MSG. It was pretty good, but I'm still feeling some residual tired-ness, and I've got some battle scars. Oh, and I was in the second fucking row. A more thorough review to come.

On an unrelated note, how phenomenal is the live version of "Prove It All Night" from the Darkness on the Edge of Town tour? Bruce's guitar work is mind-blowing. I don't think he gets the credit he deserves for his mad guitar skillz.

Yeah, I just typed skillz. Blame it on the concert-related injuries.

I totally saw this coming

I don't want to say that I'm predicting the future or anything, but I was watching Homicide the other night and thinking how cool it would be if Detective John Munch added another show to his roster of appearances and showed up on the last season of The Wire.

AND HE DID.

Want your mind blown even more? He was sitting at a bar a few seats down from a gentleman named Jay Landsman (Lt. Mello on the show)... who was featured prominently in David Simon's book Homicide and inspired the character of John Munch. 

Whoa.

Going off the rails on a crazy train

I've been taking the train to Manhattan for like 20 years now. Why does the NJTransit schedule decide to suddenly stop making sense? Also, I could be stranded in the city on Tuesday night.

Opening Day: 46 Days and Counting...

Can you feel that? That tingling sense of anticipation? Yes, today is a very important day, for pitchers and catchers report to their respective spring training complexes and baseball is officially underway!

It's also Valentine's Day, which, to be honest, I don't even have the energy to rant against this year. So instead, I'll combine the day's two events and declare my love for the youngsters on the Yankees pitching staff: Joba Chamberlain and Phil Hughes.

So... between the text messaging, the killer fastball, the bugs, the blog, the 7-inning no-hitter, the composure unheard of for a 21-year-old, and the t-shirt, it's official. You guys are kind of a big deal. Love ya, boys!

Let the countdown to Opening Day 2008 begin!

This is what it sounds like when doves cry

I stayed up tonight to watch Purple Rain which, surprisingly, I had never seen. My main thought, at the end of the film, is why doesn't weird shit like this get made today? I can totally see Fall Out Boy in a Purple Rain/Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey hybrid where faux punk rock saves the world from aliens or something. In fact, I might start writing that right now...

Woke up this morning...

How pathetically Jersey is this? When I was in LA, watching the opening credits of The Sopranos made me a bit homesick. 

I'm re-watching some episodes on demand, and now, of course, seeing the credits makes me think of being in LA being homesick for New Jersey, and all the warm weather and palm trees it entailed. I'm never satisfied...

Also, having Silvio aka Little Steven standing outside Madam Marie's on the Asbury Park boardwalk (season 2 finale) is pretty much one of the best pop culture references the show has done.

Say it ain't so!

Ok, this is probably the most disappointing news I've gotten in a while. Will Arnett, who was supposed to be the voice of KITT (and already recorded all the voiceover parts) in the Knight Rider TV movie that's going to be on next Sunday, is no longer going to do so because KITT is being "played" by a Ford Mustang and Arnett is the voice of GMC Trucks. He's being replaced by Val Kilmer.

I was actually going to watch it! But now... nah. Val Kilmer does nothing for me.

New York > Boston

Truly, my love for Jon Stewart knows no bounds.

18-1 is a beautiful thing

Giants 17, Patriots 14.

In the immortal words of Jason Bateman in Dodgeball, "I feel shocked."

In an awesome way, of course. Way to go, Big Blue.

There was a barber and his wife, and he was beautiful...

At this point in my life, there is no other way to describe a Tim Burton movie than as a momentous event in my life. This sounds overdramatic, but bear with me. Burton was my first "favorite" director, before I started getting pretentious and and into foreign films and other things of that nature, and Edward Scissorhands was the first DVD I ever bought. Burton remains one of my favorite directors, and, as I confessed to a friend the other day, I so want his films to be good, I actually get a bit nervous when I go to see them.

Such a line of thinking seems to set one up for disappointment, and yet, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street was anything but. You surely know the story of Sweeney Todd - falsely accused barber gets revenge by slitting the throats of those who have wronged him while the woman downstairs turns their bodies into filling for her meat pies - and if you didn't, you do now.

It seems like fodder for a z-grade horror movie, not a Broadway musical, and yet, it's been both. It is composer Stephen Sondheim's masterpiece, and although he is quite the imposing figure, Burton manages to put his own stamp on the film, allowing it to be both a Tim Burton film and a Stephen Sondheim film.

The gory, darkly humorous musical is almost too perfect for Burton, the only musical you could ever imagine him directing. Blood and gore, a gaunt, pale protagonist, a bleak story with touches of equally dark humor - all hallmarks of Burton's previous works, especially the ones with his favorite muse, Johnny Depp. Depp does a surprisingly excellent job with the notoriously complex score, and Helena Bonham Carter, although not quite as good as Depp, does an admirable job as well.

Visually, the film resembles Sleepy Hollow - de-saturated with vividly colored flashbacks emphasizing the contrast between then and now, and gushing geysers of red, red blood, which, frankly, look amazingly cool against the nearly black and white background. Reflections are everywhere in Sweeney Todd, from puddles on the dirty London streets to Sweeney's beloved razor to the shattered mirror in his shop - and notably, all of these reflections are in some way distorted. Whatever they are supposed to reflect - Sweeney's own perception of himself as a pariah, the morally ugly person he's become since being consumed by revenge - they are pretty awesome solely on a visual level. And while that's occasionally been the case with Tim Burton's films - visually stunning but a bit lacking in other areas - Sweeney Todd doesn't disappoint in any way.

A note: I realize the importance of timeliness and relevance - and a review of a film that is neither nominated for Best Picture or playing for more than one showing a week is neither timely nor relevant. But I loved the movie so much and really wanted to make sure that I did it justice with my review, and I took my time. So there.

Daniel Day-Lewis for President?

When I watch TV these days, I only see commercials for the New York Times' endorsement of Hillary Clinton and Paul Thomas Anderson's film There Will Be Blood. They are starting to meld into one. 

There Will Be Hillary.

Eerily prophetic, or way off balance? I suppose only the future will tell. But can't you hear it? Instead of hearing the commercial begin with "I'm Hillary Clinton, and I approve this message," she would instead be screaming, "I've abandoned my boy!"

I don't know, it really sounded funnier in my head.

L&Oh no

So Sam Waterston is no longer in the Law & Order credits march. This makes me super sad.

Santanamania!

So is anyone else a bit puzzled that Johan Santana ended up with the Mets? I'm not familiar with the Mets' farm system, so I can't really speak to the quality of the prospects they sent to the Twins but... they're just that. Prospects. Both the Yankees and Red Sox offered young players with proven MLB experience, and yet, the Twins went with the Mets.

I'm not complaining, though. I'm glad the Yankees were able to hold on to Melky and Phil Hughes, and I'm glad that they won't have to face Santana more than once or twice a year in interleague play.

I still love ya, Tim!

Man, what does Tim Burton have to do to get some Oscar love? This year was a particularly strong crop of directors but... nothing for Ed Wood, nothing for Big Fish, and now nothing for Sweeney Todd.

Boo.

Momentary Panic

When Late Night with Conan O'Brien started tonight, I was temporarily taken aback. Conan was beardless. And it wasn't until the point in his monologue when he spoke about a "big sporting event" that was the NBA Finals (which take place in the spring) and not the Giants' victory over the Packers that I realized it was a rerun.

I did think the idea of Adam Sandler crossing the picket line was pretty odd...

Mmm... scruffy

Yup. Definitely a fan of the strike beard.

I am unable to deny my nerdery

So yeah, it kind of sucks that there aren't any A-list actors on the non-CBS talk shows, but Brian Williams and Tom Brokaw are easily two of the best interviews Conan's had in a while.

Yeah, I'm also a huge nerd.

Yippie-kay-yay, motherfucker!

I think it bears repeating that Bruce Willis in Die Hard is way more attractive than you remember. Seriously. Also, this might be one of the funniest things ever:

I am an idiot

I love when I'm an idiot and for some reason, think The Wire is on at 10 PM instead of 9. Well really, I don't love it. Thankfully it's on again at 10:30. 

ETA: Oh McNulty. Why why why??? Even despite being pained at McNulty's bad decision (he's an alcoholic, but I don't think he's a bad person), it's still the best hour currently on TV. I know that's not saying much considering what's on TV in these strike days but to quote Kevin on The Office, it's awesome.

Murder Unscripted

I'm sure you've been following the clusterfuck that is the writers strike. Here is what would have to be my favorite "without writers TV is history" video, "Murder Unscripted," featuring a smattering of actors who have all appeared on yours truly's favorite show, Law & Order:

Strike Beard Love

Am I the only one that's finding Conan O'Brien with Strike Beard kind of hot? I mean, I've always had a bit of a crush on Conan - as I do love me some geek boys - but the beard is bringing it to a whole new level.

The Wire!

The Wire is back on and I'm so psyched. It feels like the only thing to look forward to in the doldrums of the writers strike.

I don't love it quite as much as Homicide (but that's just a matter of personal preference), another criminally underwatched show from the mind of David Simon, but even if the strike wasn't turning television into a reality television wasteland, The Wire would still be the best thing on. Check it out, I promise you won't be disappointed.

There's Something About (Hating) Ticketmaster

When I bought Ricky Gervais tickets for my parents to give to me for Christmas, it was a tossup as to which date to get tickets for - I pulled up nearly identical seats for both shows. So I went for the 15th. How was I supposed to know that July 15th was the date for the baseball all-star game at Yankee Stadium?

Not that that's going to be an easy (or cheap) ticket, but.... boo.

Semi-related (because the Ricky Gervais tickets arrived today and I was looking at them), I'm no consumer advocate, but doesn't it seem that any and everyone who buys a ticket to a concert/performance/sporting event is getting royally raped by Ticketmaster? There is a disclaimer on the back of the ticket saying TIME, OPPONENT, ROSTERS AND DATE SUBJECT TO CHANGE. ENJOY THE EVENT! So in addition to tacking an additional $20 onto your order for the "convenience" of doing battle with the scalpers' automated programs so you can buy a ticket in the upper tier, you are seemingly not guaranteed to see the event you paid for. Lovely!

I hate you, Ticketmaster. 

Foo!

When I was in middle school, I loved staying home from school because I could watch Saturday Night Live reruns on Comedy Central (you can probably trace my desire to be a comedy writer back to then) and music videos on MTV. Sure, Real World reruns were more plentiful on the channel, but there actually were a few music videos on, and if you were lucky, you'd see some classics directed by Spike Jonze (namely from the oeuvre of the Beastie Boys).

I thought back then that maybe someday, I'd get my big break via music video - befriend some up and coming band, offer to shoot a video for them in return for the exposure but now, what good is a music video when there's no outlet for it? I mean, sure, there's YouTube, but you can't intentionally manufacture a viral sensation, you know? And so if you make a music video now, exactly why are you doing it? If someone doesn't know your band, they won't seek you out on YouTube, whereas in a block of videos, it is possible that a band might be exposed to someone who isn't already familiar with their music.

Anyway, all of this is because the Foo Fighters just keep making hilarious, awesome videos, regardless of MTV's failure to live up to their 'M.' It involves 70s porn star mustaches, killer sideburns, Rashida Jones, and lots of screaming girls. Watch it and be awed.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=68qqym-_K4w

I think I'm kind of crushing on new L&O executive assistant DA Michael Cutter (aka Linus Roache). He's no Jack McCoy, that's for damn sure, but I kind of like him. And I'm loving Jeremy Sisto as the new cop. It may never be the same post-Jerry Orbach, but I think this new lineup has a lot of potential (even though it did make me really sad to see the credits march without Sam Waterston).

Also, I went to see Juno today (awesome, full review to follow) and among the trailers was one for Made of Honor, a My Best Friend's Wedding ripoff starring Patrick Dempsey. The movie looks horrendous, but there were two really well-orchestrated bits of physical comedy involving Dempsey crashing into a waiter at a restaurant in the trailer. Well played, crappy romantic comedy trailer, well played.

It's 2008

Happy New Year, I suppose...

I think Frank Costanza was really on to something with Festivus. I've pretty much had it with the whole Christmas thing.

Hope everyone else's holiday was more enjoyable than mine.

Ugh

So I visit Variety.com to check the latest bad news about the writers strike (today's update: WGA refused to give a waiver to the Golden Globes and will probably be picketing it) and what is one of the top stories?

A-Rod Bats for Oseary's Team

This, sadly, is not a reference to A-Rod's sexuality, but an article about the manager he just signed with. He didn't drop Boras, but he's definitely marginalizing him, and man, does he ever hate Boras now or what?

But yeah, just what the always-disheartening news about the WGA strike needs: More A-Rod...

Ricky Gervais, Comedy Genius

Firstly, The Extras Christmas Special = amazing. I'm about five seconds from busting out the Office Christmas special since (a) it's the appropriate season and (b) the Extras special reminded me of how freaking good it was. I didn't think there was any way it could compare to the Office special, but it was definitely up there.

Secondly, what is up with selling concert tickets seven months in advance of the event? First Bruce, now Ricky Gervais doing standup at MSG on July 14-15, with tickets going on sale on Tuesday. After Saturday's debacle, I don't know if I have the mettle to do battle with Ticketmaster again so soon, but man oh man do I want to see his standup show.

BRUUUUUUUUUUUCE

Well it's not exactly the triumph I was hoping for but, I'll take it:

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

Giants Stadium East Rutherford, NJ

Mon, Jul 28, 07:30 PM

QTY

4

SEC

12

ROW

16

DESCRIPTION

Price Level 1

FLOOR SEATING

It's the back of the floor, but it's the floor nonetheless. And don't think that's the only show we're going to see. One way or another, I think we'll be getting some GA's. But for my parents, who haven't been spoiled by being up close, I think this will do just fine.

Oh, and thanks a lot, Ticketmaster, for the $55 in convenience fees. It's like you don't even have to try to be more hated than you already are.

The American Public Doesn't Know Shit

What the fuck is wrong with this country? The top ten albums of the year?

1. Daughtry Daughtry
2. Konvicted Akon
3. The Dutchess Fergie
4. Hannah Montana Soundtrack
5. Some Hearts Carrie Underwood
6. All the Right Reasons Nickelback
7. Futuresex/Lovesounds Justin Timberlake
8. High School Musical 2 Soundtrack
9. Now 23 Various Artists
10. Minutes to Midnight Linkin Park

I don't know what's worse, the list being topped by an American Idol also-ran, or the fact that people actually like the musical equivalent of syrup of Ipecac known as Nickelback. Ew ew ew. God, it's all so bad.

Celebrities Should Keep Their Mouths Shut

Dear Katherine Heigl,

If you're going to complain that Knocked Up is sexist, how about picking something other than a shitty, cliche-ridden romantic comedy for your follow-up, to, you know, actually make a point or something?

You Spin Me Round

I used to have a subscription to Spin Magazine. After a few years, I cancelled my subscription because I came to the conclusion that the magazine thought it was much cooler than it actually was, and also because they put a picture of a shirtless, greased-up Scott Stapp and his band Creed on the cover once and I swear it almost made me lose my lunch. 

But for the first time since I cancelled my subscription, I bought an issue of Spin. Win Butler of Arcade Fire and Bruce Springsteen. On the same cover. Each talking about how awesome the other is. I think this is the music journalism equivalent of putting Chunky Monkey and the other Ben & Jerry's that tastes like Bailey's Irish Cream and Guiness in the same container. Anyway, it's supremely interesting and hearing that Bruce enjoys Rihanna's "Umbrella" makes me feel way less guilty about singing along with it while stuck in traffic on the freeway in LA. The article - which is less of an article and more of a transcript - is heads and shoulders above the rest of the issue and generally above what my general opinion is of Spin.

Bruce has only recently come into vogue in the hipster set - I spent much time in college trying to convince others of his awesomeness to no avail - and while he owns the hearts of 40-year-old single men such as the ones we chatted with while waiting for the concert, I don't think he's quite captured the hearts of 20-somethings as much as the editors of Spin might like to think (I'll be the first to admit that my tastes run slightly outside the mainstream). But it's a good read if you like either artist, and an even better read if you like 'em both.

Analogy time:

The Mob is to Michael Corleone as baseball is to Andy Pettitte. (As in, every time he thinks he's out, it pulls him back in.) And this is a good thing.

Now let's get this Santana situation locked down. 

Mmmmm, tuna

A public service announcement to say that the Ahi Tuna Chopped Salad at Outback Steakhouse is one of the best things I've had at a chain restaurant in quite some time.

That is all.

Oh dear, it's December now. 

In the immortal words of my dad, "When the hell did this happen?"

Ugh.

2/19/08

I got all excited this morning because I was convinced that I had beaten the system - the system being Ticketmaster. But when you think about it, logging on and buying a ticket to a concert during a fan pre-sale is not beating the system. It's doing exactly what the system is supposed to do.

Oh, whatever. I am in possession of a general admission ticket to see the Foo Fighters play Madison Square Garden on February 19th. I'm psyched. Beyond psyched, really. And a bit impressed, as I told the world to stop sucking, and it did, at least a little bit.

But Ticketmaster can still suck it for being such a bitch during the Bruce Springsteen ticket frenzy - the tickets for the Philly show weren't sold through Ticketmaster so I've still got some Bruce-related demons to resolve there (hopefully this summer at Giants Stadium).

A more substantial rant on Ticketmaster to follow.

Stop sucking, everything.

I wish I had some happy, funny pop-culture-y rant to write about but frankly, I haven't really been in the mood to write anything other than a super angry rant against the world. So I'll just say this:

Stop sucking, life. 

Stop sucking, humanity.

Stop sucking, world.

Yeah, I'm not so much a fan of the holiday season.

Also, I'm having a bit of trouble dealing with yet another snub. I thought I stopped caring, but apparently I've been thinking too highly of myself lately.

But that's neither here nor there. In continuing the theme of sharing my injuries, it should be mentioned that I managed to burn a perfect isosceles triangle into the flesh on the inside of my arm just below my wrist while removing a pumpkin pie from the oven.  

With dinner in about an hour, I can already feel the food coma coming on, even though I haven't started stuffing my face yet. No matter, it'll be good. Food will be eaten, naps will be taken, and inevitably, we'll all end up back downstairs on the couch to watch "Elf."

Happy Thanksgiving!

I woke up this morning, saw the snow coming down, and turned over and went back to sleep. I'm not ready for winter.

They call it a flight cause it takes you up to heaven...

Ok, let's review:

Sexy accents - check.

Guitar playing skills - check.

Ability to make me laugh - check.

It's official. Bret and Jemaine of Flight of the Conchords are the ideal mate for me (either one of them... or both, actually, that could work).

Jemaine gets bonus points for the sweet sideburns he sported during the show. Ah, the return of the great muttonchop debate....

God, I want to kiss you on the mouth to stop you from saying such ridiculous things.

Last year, when I was taking a comedy writing class, I had a discussion with my professor about 30 Rock, which had just premiered. "It's a good concept," he said, "and Alec Baldwin is really brilliant, but I just don't know if it will work out. But it almost seems like they're letting her develop the show on the air. We'll have to see how it turns out." He was right to be skeptical - the show had a bit of a rough start. But it found its footing, and I have to say, I think it may have surpassed The Office for my favorite sitcom on television right now.

In a way, it's like 30 Rock has become the spiritual heir to the throne of wonderful absurdity upon which Arrested Development sat. Is it a coincidence that both shows won an Emmy for Best Comedy Series after premiering to low ratings but high critical praise? Like Arrested, 30 Rock manages to combine political commentary, dirty jokes, physical comedy and sharp satire all while telling a coherent story and throwing in callbacks to the most wonderfully silly parts of episodes past (Werewolf Bar Mitzvah, I'm talking about you). And it doesn't hurt that Arrested cast member Will Arnett has already put in two guest appearances on the show.

So that's pretty much it. I thought I had some more insight, but really, no. Just watch the show. It will blow your mind grapes away.

A-Rod: The Sequel

A-Rod, Yankees closing in on 10-year, $275 million deal

Oh A-Rod. Although the mental picture of you crawling back to the Yankees and begging for your job amuses me to no end, I must say I'm a bit surprised at how this all played out. And a bit disappointed, as I was ready to put an end to the A-Rod in pinstripes era. If this alleged humility - which caused said crawling - shows up during the season, I'll be pleasantly surprised, but I'm not holding my breath. 

Law & Order: Shark Jumping Unit

I have made no secret of my love of all things Law & Order. There is something very reassuring about always being able to find it in reruns, and I was a bit bummed that I wasn't able to see the French version during the short time I spent in France two summers ago (although that could be because I spent 95% of my time there seeing movies and getting hammered).

Even though I love L&O so, every now and then, the show does something so incredibly stupid that I can't possibly fathom why I love the show so. Take the last episode of of SVU, for example. I know the show wouldn't be the same without our beloved detectives and attorneys taking everything personally, but there reaches a certain point where it gets a bit ridiculous. I'm speaking, of course, of the fact that the seemingly countless schizophrenic perps that have passed through the system have had no effect on Casey Novak but suddenly this one caused her to throw the case. Um, okay. Despite the ridiculous "Elliott is blind - well, only for ten minutes" subplot, it had the makings of two-thirds of a decent episode. And then it got ridiculous.

Ok writers, you want to give Casey a backstory? Fine. But why make it about something that even the most casual SVU viewer could remember the show dealing with in the recent past without reaction from her? Unrelated, stop pushing the "Elliott and Olivia want to fuck" agenda. And for the love of god, give Richard Belzer more than just one scene an episode!

On the plus side, tonight's episode had Jack McCoy! His first official appearance as District Attorney! As much as I am saddened that we will no longer get the classic McCoy courtroom speeches, Although the casting director seemed to be trying hard to not let people forget about Fred Thompson, as the perp's attorney had an accent nearly identical to that of DA Arthur Branch...

I don't rap about bitches and hos I rap about witches and trolls

Last week, the Gods of Entertainment bestowed upon us the gift of the Flight of the Conchords DVDs. I fell hard for the Conchords this summer, and quite appreciated HBO's policy of rerunning episodes until I could practically recite them from memory.

The downfall to this, of course, was that they eventually stopped showing Conchords episodes, and like nicotine and alcohol, zany New Zealanders were a hard substance to give up cold turkey. But now the DVD is here, and yay. Twelve wonderfully absurd episodes of singing, band meetings, angry dancing, and crazy fans fan.

Unfortunately, that's it. Not a single bonus feature is on the disc, which is disappointing for a number of reasons. First, HBO sent around a survey about Flight of the Conchords around the time that they announced they had picked it up for a second season which included a question about what kind of bonus features you wanted to see on the DVD. That seems to imply that they would include some sort of bonus features on the disc, right? Second, there were a number of behind-the-scenes clips available on OnDemand/as part of the Flight of the Conchords podcast, and even if they were just recycled for the DVD, that at least would have been something. The same for Mel's video diaries, featured on the HBO site.

I was really keeping my fingers crossed for the inclusion of the Conchords' HBO "standup" special, but alas, no go. I'm hopeful that a future Conchords DVD release will feature some of these extra goodies, but with season two threatened by the writers' strike, who knows what will happen.

All that bitching aside, the episodes are amazing and really don't need any extra bells and whistles. If you're not hooked by "Mugged," you probably don't have a sense of humor. Or you like According to Jim. Now if only HBO would wise up and find a lead-in for the Conchords that is more appropriate than the frat boy "humor" of Entourage.

Completely unrelated to New Zealand's fourth most popular folk-parody duo, I have to say that I'm absolutely in love with Chuck, both the show and the character. Kudos to whoever put Britney Spears' "Toxic" in tonight's episode (so oddly inappropriate and therefore, perfect). And is it me, or does Zachary Levi look like a cross between Paul Rudd and John Krasinski?

Veronica Mars is my Girlcrush

I know, I know, I really missed the boat on this one. But Veronica Mars is kind of awesome. Like my beloved Arrested Development, it was a fiercely loved cult show that only made it three seasons. And I'll admit, even though I read glowing reviews of the show, I didn't really give it a chance because I was sick of getting really into shows that were likely to end up cancelled. And now I'm sad that I never gave the show a chance because it's really, really good.

I've only finished season 1, so I can't yet speak to the quality of seasons 2 or 3 except to say that I did see part of the episode from season 2 with Michael Cera (George Michael from the aforementioned Arrested Development) but didn't understand any of the reoccurring storylines. But season 1 was awesome. It was written way better than a show about a high school girl cum detective had any right to be. Just awesome.

I think what elevated Veronica Mars above your typical high school TV show is that it wasn't a teen soap, nor did it try to solve the problems facing American youth (Beverly Hills, 90210, I'm talking about you). It took a completely absurd idea - high school junior as hardened gumshoe - but kept the rest of the show grounded in reality. The protagonist was Sam Spade bitching about algebra homework. Theoretically, this shouldn't work, which means that it was totally awesome. 

I know a lot of people thought it was highly influenced by Buffy, and I can't really speak to that as I never could get on that train. But I can definitely see the influence of Twin Peaks, and in a much better way than the train wreck (that hopefully will no longer be a train wreck this season although thanks to the writers' strike, who knows what we'll see) that currently is Lost.

And seriously people, Kristen Bell is all kinds of awesome. Love her!

In the revisionist history of my mind, I like to pretend that I was as cool as Veronica in high school, above all the bullshit and pretentiousness that came with having to deal with the assholes that were my classmates.  I wasn't. But I'm glad that Rob Thomas created Veronica Mars and gave me the opportunity to pretend. 

My ears! Ahhh!

Sometime last year... actually, just about a year ago now, the lovely and talented Matt Nathanson came to BU to play a show. He put on a great show, including reading excerpts from a soft-core porn novel, posing for pictures and signing autographs after the show, and was an all-around awesome guy. 

But the band he had opening for him - did. not. like. There weren't a huge amount of people at the show and frankly, I felt pretty awkward standing there watching this band that I thought sucked. It was a school event, so there was no bar to which I could steal away, and at one point, I freaked out, leaned over to my friend and whispered "I think the lead singer just made eye contact with me and that kind of weirds me out." Ah memories.

Anyway, I hadn't thought much about Carbon Leaf lately, as I really had no reason to have them on my mind. Until the other night. I was searching the Bruce Springsteen MP3 Bootleg Index (an excellent resource for any and all unreleased Bruce ephemera) for an MP3 of "Fire," a song that never made it onto any of his albums, when I came across a cover version of "I'm On Fire" by none other than.... Carbon Leaf.

At first I just laughed, but my morbid curiosity got the best of me and I had to give it a listen, which I knew was a mistake. I mean, Carbon Leaf doesn't really deserve all this wrath from me, but they're like Dave Matthews Band-lite, and that's just a vibe I can't get behind. Anyway, Carbon Leaf's version lacks the slow burning (burning... fire... get it) sensuality of Bruce's original. I mean, why cover a song like that if you're going to sing it like a robot?

Sigh. Some days, I really worry that I might end up a real-life female version of Rob, Dick, and/or Barry from High Fidelity, wasting my life away working retail, trying to feel better about myself by putting down others' taste in music. 

Oh man.

Sexiest. Mugshot. Ever.

Thank you Smoking Gun, for bringing this to my attention.

Cannot stop listening to Mike Doughty's "I Hear the Bells."

Signs of the Apocalypse: Music Edition

In the latest music news, Britney Spears was denied the number one spot on the charts this week because Billboard suddenly decided to start counting albums sold at a single retailer. This means that The Eagles, who are selling their new album only at Wal-Mart, snatched the top spot away from her.

There are so many things wrong/weird/confusing about this. Where do I even start?

1. Britney Spears would have had the number one album in the country despite the only thing she has done in the way of promotion is flash her ladyparts to a few cameras. I've heard that if Britney's music is your thing, this album is actually pretty good, and that's not my thing, so I can't really argue that. But seriously people, aren't we over the whole Britney thing yet? I actually almost feel sorry for her and her complete inability to function as a normal human being. Almost.

2. The Eagles have the number 1 album in the country. Really? The Eagles? And to my surprise...

3. ...The Eagles have the best-selling album in America in history. Their Greatest Hits: 1971-1975 has sold more copies than Thriller, Led Zeppelin IV, The Wall, Born In The USA, Jagged Little Pill, Appetite For Destruction, etc. Yet I could name you more people who purchased all of those albums than have purchased that Eagles greatest hits compilation. I was going to say that I don't know a single person that owns this album, but that would actually be incorrect, as I looked it up on Amazon and realized that my dad definitely had a tape of it that got tossed around the back seat of the car for a while until sun damage ultimately rendered it unplayable. That being said, I love my dad dearly, but a love of great music has never been his strong suit.

4. And finally, the most offensive part of this whole ordeal: the fact that The Eagles are selling this new album at Wal-Mart exclusively. I'm pretty sure that Wal-Mart is the earthly incarnation of hell and its executive board is comprised of Satan's minions (see the excellent documentary Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Prices for more info - also, it gets bonus points for using a live version of Bruce singing "This Land Is Your Land"), and I can't possibly think of anything good that a Wal-Mart exclusive says about your band. So why?

More Funny eBay Finds

The previous entry and all its bilingual Bon Jovi fun was brought to you by the wonder that is eBay, as is this gem:

In case you can't read that, it's an auction for the 1978 album "Darkness On The Edge Of Town" by everyone's favorite 80's heartthrob "Rick Springsteen."

Heh

Viviendo en una Oracion

Trying to explain why certain things are funny is like trying to explain why human beings are put on this planet. It involves a lot of philosophy and theory and depends on your worldview and is ultimately best left up to "just because."

The song titles from Bon Jovi's "Slippery When Wet," listed in Spanish on a Mexican edition of their 1986 album are one such thing. Why? Who knows. Will you find it funny? Maybe, maybe not. But I did. So I'm sharing.

1. DEJALO EN EL ROCK

2. LE HAS DADO UN MAL NOMBRE AL AMOR

3. VIVIENDO EN UNA ORACION

4. ENFERMEMDAD SOCIAL

5. SE BUSCA VIVO O MUERTO

6. LEVANTA LAS MANOS

7. SIN AMOR

8. MORIRA POR TI

9. NUNCA DIGAS ADIOS

10. CALLES SALVAJES

Happy Halloween!

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you my pride and joy this Halloween:

the Conan O'Brien O'Lantern! (Pattern here) Enjoy all your candy!

Fuck You, A-Rod: Part Deux

I suppose I should elaborate on that last post a bit, now that my anger has died down a bit. As you likely have heard, A-Rod has decided to opt out of his contract and become a free agent. The Yankees said that if he were to opt out, they would not pursue him as a free agent and so Alex is a Yankee no more.

I should be celebrating this. I loathe the ego, douchebaggery, and general asshattery Rodriguez has brought to the Yankees for the past four seasons. But in typical A-Rod fashion, he managed to make his departure even more loathsome than anyone could have imagined. He announced his decision (or, rather, Scott Boras did) just as the World Series was drawing to a close.* He neglected to tell any of his teammates of his plans, nor did he even have the courtesy to return calls from team brass regarding his status. He used the uncertain status of other team members as his excuse for bailing even though he had ten more days for their status to be resolved before he made his move. Baseball might be a team sport to most players, but to A-Rod, his only concern is his own stats and his own huge-ass contract.  

So, to clarify, after finally having an amazing season in pinstripes, overcoming the fact that you got booed at BY YOUR OWN FANS last season, and giving us a heartfelt speech about how you really belong in New York as you sprayed champagne on your teammates (yeah, remember those guys?), now you say (to, frankly, the only team that can afford your overpriced ass), "Eh, thanks but no thanks, I'll take my chances on the open market."

Whatever. 

You know what, Alex? I don't give a fuck what you decide to do. All I know is that you better fuckin' be prepared to get one hell of a round of boos when you show up in New York next year. And I hope I'm there contributing to the sound and the fury. And I really hope that with you gone, the boys can go all the way while your money-grubbing ass is sitting at home in October thinking how it could've been you.

Oh, and your agent? Is the devil incarnate. But we already knew that.

So maybe the anger hasn't subsided in the last 24 hours. Oh well, it's more interesting that way.

*I'm a die hard Red Sox hater and even with that in mind, I can't say that what he did was in any way reasonable. 

Fuck you, A-Rod.

Reason # 17...

...to go to California:

It's "cold" in NJ now. Forgot that I am not a fan of that.

Good Morning, Christina

Even though the New Pornographers' latest album came out in August and I bought it in September, I hadn't really gotten around to listening to it too much. But I've changed that and I must confess that I got waaaaaaay too excited when I heard the track "Go Places," because

1. Well, it's a good track (the album on the whole is quite good), and
2. My name is in it!

For someone with a fairly common first name, you'd think it would show up in more places... but it really doesn't. Not in the music I find myself listening to. Although it should be said that I often imagine substituting my name for "Theresa" in "I'll Work For Your Love" off Magic. I mean, come on, "Pour me a drink Christina, in one of those glasses you dust off..."

It just sounds so right!

On a rare serious note, the situation in SoCal sucks right now. The fires haven't hit LA yet, but I'm glad I decided to put off heading out there for a little while. Just seeing the minor brushfire near Warner Brothers/Universal was scary enough; I can't even imagine what this is like.

My thoughts are with all my friends out there. Stay safe, guys.

Sigh...

From Sars at Tomato Nation:

At times like this, I wish there were a formal designation in English to distinguish between the Yankee fans who only give a crap about winning, and the rest of us. I get the feeling it's the first group that influences some of the choices the Yankee brass make, and I like it fine when the team wins, but mostly, I just like it when the team plays. Plays baseball. Because that's the point.

So long, Joe Torre. You will be missed.

NaNoWriMo!

I'm doing NaNoWriMo! That's National Novel Writing Month, for the uninitiated. What it boils down to is spending the month of November driving oneself to the brink of insanity by attempting to write a 50,000 word novel. I don't know if I'll actually finish, or if I'll actually write anything that's readable, but I'd like to finally complete something for once, regardless of whether it's any good. I've got more unfinished stories and screenplays than I know what to do with. I've got a few ideas rolling around in my head, so we'll see where that takes me.

Also, at the Bruce Springsteen show last night in Ottawa, THE ARCADE FIRE came on stage with Bruce and the band and played a few songs ("State Trooper" off "Nebraska" and "Keep the Car Running" off Arcade Fire's latest album) during the encore. I am so fucking jealous of you Ottawans right now (even if I did get to hear "Incident on 57th Street")!  I love love love Arcade Fire. Off to search for that bootleg now...

Goddamn bugs...

Well, fuck.

The baseball season ended a bit earlier than I had hoped. But still, coming back from a 21-29 start to end up with 94 wins is pretty impressive in itself. I'm not really in the mood to talk about it too much other than to say, "Please come back, Jorge and Mo."

On to next season, boys...

One great rock show can change the world.

Oh man. Oh man. Oh man.

Where does one begin to describe the sheer awesomeness of last night's Bruce Springsteen concert?

I suppose the beginning is as good as any other place.

Through some sheer dumb luck, I found tickets online on Friday night for Bruce's Saturday night show in Philadelphia. Even more incredible, the tickets were general admission floor seats. Needless to say, I was beyond excited for this. So Saturday afternoon, I made my way to Philly, linked up with my sister, and we headed over to the Wachovia Center around 4 so we could get our wristbands.

If you're unfamiliar with how Bruce Springsteen runs the floor section for his shows, there is front GA - known as the pit - and back GA. In order to prevent people from camping out at the arena to get the best spots, numbered wristbands are handed out, and then a random number is drawn. The person with this number is the first to get into the pit, and the rest of the line follows until the pit is full. The rest of the people fill in the rear section.

Anyway, to omit a lot of long, boring details that no one cares about, I was 696 and the number they pulled was 528. Not only were we in the pit, we were among the first 200 people in the building. That may sound like a lot until you think about the fact that there are probably close to 22,000 people in the building for a concert. And once we walked down onto the floor and saw how few people there actually were... man oh man. Perma-goosebumps. I remember somewhat dazedly holding up my duly-wristbanded wrist to the security guard at the entrance of the pit and looking at the sheer amount of space that was there... and the sheer amount of space that WASN'T there between myself and the stage.  We staked out a spot between Bruce and Clarence with approximately three rows of people between us and the stage. Yeah. Kind of a big deal.

Everyone around us was super nice (Bruce fans are such a nice change from the annoying hipsters I usually go to shows with even though yeah, I am one sometimes), and I got tons of comments on my '84-'85 world tour shirt (thank you, eBay!). The guys in front of us in line for the pit seemed genuinely stoked that two people as young as my sister and I were genuine fans of Bruce. All in all, it made the four hours between arriving at the Wachovia Center and Bruce's first notes on stage fly by.

When the band finally came out, we seemed even closer than I originally thought (I know, I'm an idiot). It was like my brain couldn't possibly process the idea of being that close to Bruce Springsteen until he was actually there, 15 feet away. We were so close to the stage, we couldn't even see the giant screens on either side. The show opened with "Night," and you couldn't wipe the goofy smile off my face for the rest of the show. He played 3 songs off "Darkness On the Edge of Town," "Prove It All Night" - during which there was eye contact* between myself and The Boss - "The Promised Land," and "Badlands," three of my all-time favorite Bruce songs. And people, HE PLAYED "INCIDENT ON 57TH STREET." This might not mean anything to you if you're not a Bruce fan. But trust me, it's a big deal. And it was amazing to hear live.

I've been up relatively close at comedy shows and some small club shows, but this is the closest I've ever been (and probably every will be) at an arena show. And just being able to see how the band members interacted with each other - and what a good time they seemed to be having - was priceless. The expressions on Bruce's face when he took a solo - particularly during "Prove It All Night" - were so intense (and I'd be lying if I said they didn't make my mind... wander... a bit). And that's something that you'd never be able to see from the other end of the arena without the help of the giant screens. Every time someone pointed to Clarence, he'd grin and point back at them and the whole group of us standing by him would cheer.

Other than the previously mentioned setlist selections, one of my favorite moments of the whole night had to be when Bruce played a wrong note during "Thundercrack" and tried to pretend it wasn't him. He yelled out "Who did that?" and laughed with this silly sheepish grin on his face (which I could see... from where I was standing... without looking at the screen). We might treat him like a god, but he's human. And he's cool with being human. The pairing of "Born To Run" and "Dancin' In the Dark" in the encore was another highlight, with the crowd going absolutely nuts. He closed the show with "American Land," which I thought would disappoint me because it wasn't an E Street Band song, but I actually really liked it - even though that meant the show was over.

All in all, I couldn't have asked for a more amazing experience for my first Bruce show.  I'm sure the two guys we waited in line with wondered if "the two rookies" realized what an awesome show they had witnessed. Oh, we realized. We most certainly realized. And more importantly, I'm wondering when I can go see another show, even though I know it's near impossible to have another perfect combination of an amazing setlist, amazing spots in the pit, and amazing weather for standing outside waiting for the lottery.

And because I couldn't go the whole post without mentioning it, it goes without saying that for 58, Bruce looks damn good. Age appropriate? What?  Heh heh heh.

Thanks, karma, for finally coming through.

*Maybe I imagined this, maybe I didn't. But it's one of my favorite songs, let me have my delusions, goddammit!!

Sometimes, good things DO come to those who wait...

This blogger is beyond psyched because she just managed to snag a pair of GA tickets for the Bruce Springsteen concert tomorrow night in Philadelphia (and she didn't pay a penny above face value).

I am squealing like a little girl right now. And I think my sister's away message says it all:

"so my sister = amazing...cause we are totally going to see bruce springsteen tomorrow night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and clarence!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Open your ears/this is a story/it isn't clear/is he a fool or is he a god?

I know that I'm about four years late on this bandwagon, but, wow, The Wire is an amazing show. I've just finished the first two discs of Season 1 (thank you, Netflix), and I'm absolutely hooked. I'll be the first to admit that I've got a not-so-secret obsession with cop shows (Law & Order, Homicide), but that being said, I wasn't fully prepared for the sheer awesomeness of what is probably HBO's most underappreciated show.*

The Wire has a lot in common with Homicide: Life on the Street, of which I have previously extolled the virtues. David Simon, creator of The Wire, wrote a nonfiction book, also called Homicide, which served as the basis for the television series. On The Wire, he shows all the gritty things network TV wouldn't allow (and lets cops talk like actual cops, dropping all the f-bombs they need) and sets up complex, intricate, season-long story arcs that would have a broadcast network executive shaking in his or her suit. As if that weren't bad enough, the show dares to show the good and bad sides of the cops and the dealers. It's not a show to watch passively while you make dinner or do some writing. It demands your attention and frankly, it deserves it. I've only seen the first half of the season, but I know the rest of it won't disappoint me.

Season 5 of The Wire starts in January, which means that you have plenty of time to catch up on the first four seasons before then. And if you need any more convincing other than you're really missing one of the best shows on TV right now, well... British actor Dominic West, who plays Detective Jimmy McNulty, is pretty hot, even if he hasn't quite achieved Hugh Laurie-level command of the accent.   

As for postseason baseball, well it is a cruel, cruel mistress. Or master, I guess, since I like boys. The Yankees got nothing from their pitching staff and failed to capitalize on all the walks that Sabathia gave up, and my non-Yankee love** Chase Utley of the Phillies is... uh... 2 for 9 and the Phillies are down two games to the Rockies heading to Colorado. Ouch. But the Yankees are far from done. On the bright side, Magic, the new Bruce Springsteen album, is really quite excellent. 

*This is certainly not true in terms of critical reception, but it certainly doesn't have the general-TV-watching-public recognition of The Sopranos or Entourage.  Also, it could share this title with Flight of the Conchords, but I'm not entirely certain how that show's been received in the real world.

**The boys in the blue pinstripes come first, but I'll admit to checking out a few on the side.

Between Tim McCarver, the Chevrolet John Mellencamp "America Rocks!!" commercials, and Dane Cook's grating playoff ads, it's almost enough to put me off baseball.

Alternately, I love the Pepsi commercial with Johnny Damon trying to distract Joe Mauer while he slides into home.

1 out of 52 ain't bad, right?

I have a love-hate relationship with Entertainment Weekly. I've been a subscriber for... 6 or 7 years, more out of habit now, but there's usually only about 1 issue a year that I absolutely LOVE.

This year's one issue came today. On the cover? A cover story on The Office, an interview with Wes Anderson and Jason Schwartzman about The Darjeeling Limited, a profile of Jason Bateman, and a stellar* review of Bruce Springsteen's new album. Plus, no Stephen King column. Score.


*Although it does begin with a lyrical mistake, quoting Thunder Road as "Have a little faith/There's magic in the night" when it's actually "Show a little faith/There's magic in the night." Nitpicky, I know, but it is one of my all time favorite song lyrics.

It's kind of a big deal...

And with a 12-4 win over the Devil Rays, the Yankees clinch their 13th straight postseason appearance.

Fuck yeah.

I was originally looking for a nice, champagne-y picture to commemorate the achievement, but I decided on this one instead...


...in which the look on Roger Clemens' face seems to say, "Mike, I'm going to take you out behind the locker room and have my way with you." Ha.

So we can cross "Yankees Clinching a Playoff Spot" off my list of things that need to happen in the immediate future. Now if we can take care of the Springsteen tickets and the, uh... job (you can see where my priorites lie in that listing), I'll be all set.

Top Chef makes me so goddamn hungry...

Sound the Alarm

I woke up this morning to the alarm on my cell phone, which I've been doing for the past few days. But for some reason, my brain did not process that it was my cell phone and tried - quite unsuccessfully - to get the alarm to stop by turning off my alarm clock. If I had been watching me, I'd have laughed.

Rants and Nonrants

So, two weeks ago I ordered two shirts from Threadless and I finally found out today that there was a problem with my order, so no dice, it's been cancelled and my credit card refunded.  They offered me a $5 coupon to use on my next order, but now instead of getting two shirts for $24 and change (I ordered during their back to school sale), I'm getting one for $16.  :(

Oh well, not really the biggest of deals right now considering the Yankees won tonight and the Red Sox lost, putting the Yankees a mere 1.5 games back from the AL East lead.  Yes, the same division in which they were once 14 games behind.  I applaud the sound guy who played "Don't Stop Believin'" at the Stadium when they put the Boston/Toronto score up on the board.  Heh heh.

Holy F*#&@$g S^#t

The Yankees, thanks in part to a stellar pitching performance tonight on the part of Mike Mussina, are now 2.5 games back from the Red Sox.

If nothing else, we're gonna make 'em sweat.

The Perils of Creativity

While writer's block is in fact, quite painful, it doesn't hold a candle to resting your arm against a just-turned-off (aka still quite hot) iron.  However, said injury is not as bad as the one-inch square of skin near my elbow that I seared on the oven door in LA.

61 in 61

What is it about baseball movies that always makes me emotional? I just finished watching 61* and even though I've seen it many times before, as Roger Maris hit homer number 61, I couldn't help but tear up. Of course, it's kind of ruined with the cut back to steroid man Mark McGwire breaking Maris's record, but still.

Well played, Billy Crystal. Your Yankees love has been put to good use.

After today's unsuccessful attempt to get Bruce Springsteen tickets, I decided to watch the concert DVD that came with the 30th anniversary edition of Born to Run. After all, watching the concert on a big screen TV with our surround sound setup probably gave me a better view (and less hearing damage) than I would have had with the tickets I kept pulling for Madison Square Garden this morning. But more on that in a later installment...

Anyway, that concert is amaaaaaazing. Vintage Bruce and an amazing performance of my all-time favorite Springsteen song "Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)." Sigh. The tickets will be mine. Oh yes, they will be mine.

I was trying to fire Todd but then he did a sad face at me.

I went to see Balls of Fury tonight with Olie.  I had read the script and seen lots of footage at my internship, so I pretty much knew what to expect - a mostly not-so-funny movie with a few touches of genius from Christopher Walken.  Dan Fogler tries to be Jack Black and isn't, and George Lopez just isn't funny.  Walken's over-the-top-ness saves the film from complete and total suckitude, but doesn't quite completely redeem it.

The disappointing thing about Balls of Fury is that it was written by Tom Lennon and Ben Garant, they of Reno: 911 and The State fame.  I think The State is absolutely brilliant, and its spawn Reno: 911 and Stella (the comedy troupe as well as the eponymous Comedy Central show) are about equally as brilliant.  But when these guys try to translate their culty weirdness into mainstream film, it just doesn't seem to work.  Just take a look at Lennon or Garant's IMDB writing resume (they work as a team) - from the wild subversiveness of The State to... The Pacifier, A Night at the Museum (confession: I thought A Night at the Museum was cute, mostly because of Owen Wilson), and the disaster that was Let's Go to Prison?  I'm not begrudging the guys a well-paying gig - god knows a semester in the heart of the industry changed this jaded indie film geek's perspective on what it is to be a working filmmaker/writer/actor - but it would at least be nice to see a little bit of the weirdness that made The State so awesome in the rather bland and not tremendously funny comedies that the guys are writing these days.

There has been, however, talk of a State reunion (outside the fact that all the State members appeared in Reno: 911! Miami and The Ten).  If this is true, I'll be content to believe that they've been saving up all their subversiveness for that.  And I hope it delivers in spades.

You're like a proper band now. You're like the Police... men.

I love The Replacements (the Paul Westerberg fronted band, not the Keanu Reeves movie), and I love Bruce Springsteen, so it would follow that I should also love The Hold Steady, a band that is very much the lovechild of those two.

And I do. 

That is all.

The internets are letting me down

(a) Bruce Springsteen tickets go on sale in 5 days.  Can someone please explain why there is no Ticketmaster page up for the show yet?  I would like to know how much money I'm going to be out sooner rather than later.

(b) I ordered two shirts from Threadless.  They sent me an email saying "Your order has shipped" and providing me with a UPS tracking number.  Except the UPS tracking number says no such order exists.

One Little Spark...

Is there nothing better than inspiration?  I don't even know if this will go anywhere, but from the memory of sitting on someone's basement couch, an idea has been born.  I hope that I can actually (a) finish it and (b) make it not suck.

P.S. In light of recent events, how funny is it to see Mel Gibson make his entrance in Lethal Weapon 2 clad in a straitjacket?  Good stuff.

The Boss

Bruce Springsteen's new single, "Radio Nowhere" is free on iTunes this week, which is pretty cool. What's not pretty cool is what iTunes lists as the most downloaded Springsteen songs.  As of 8/30 the top 5 songs are:

1. Dancing In the Dark
2. I'm On Fire
3. Born to Run
4. Glory Days
5. Secret Garden

Three of them absolutely belong there.  One is questionable, but for the sake of argument, I'll buy it.  And then there is "Secret Garden."  Why why WHY is "Secret Garden" on this list?  I love Bruce, but that is not one of his better songs.  If I'm listening to the "Greatest Hits" album, I will scramble for the remote to prevent myself from being subject to it.  Not to mention the fact that when Jerry Maguire came out, WPLJ played that song with quotes from the film OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.  It's like a pavlovian response - I hear that song and think "Shut up.  Just shut up.  You had me at hello."  UGH.

But anyway, Bruce's new single is pretty good, and I'm psyched about seeing him on tour this fall.  It's pretty much the only thing I'm psyched about right now in my trainwreck of a life.

Michael Cera and the other boys from Superbad were on The Tonight Show.  Cera was so adorably awkward.  I love geeky boys.

Substituting 'folk' for 'fuck' will never not be funny

Dlisted's "Hot Slut of the Day" is none other than...

http://www.dlisted.com/node/14416

Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords.  Folk me.  He's such a sixy man.

*insert obvious "Superbad is Supergood" line here*

You may remember, around 2004, when it seemed that every male on the planet celebrated the 18th birthday of the Olsen twins. And there was a slightly similar, yet slightly less exuberant celebration on the female side when Daniel Radcliffe (he of Harry Potter fame) hit the age of consent.

And yet, even though I find all that just a bit questionable, I definitely took note when Michael Cera turned 18. Cause George Michael Bluth is legal now. Which means it's totally NOT inappropriate that I was crushing on him during Superbad. And I'm totally crushing on Superbad itself. It's smart and dumb, gross and sweet, and altogether incredibly entertaining.

How much can you really say about a movie like this? It's painfully funny, and I don't want to ruin any of the hilarious jokes. Seth and Evan are dorks, but they're real, dimensional dorks. Each and every role is perfectly cast, from Seth, Evan, and Fogel (McLovin!) to the girls they lust after. And Seth Rogen and Bill Hader fit right in as the authority figures who have no desire to be authoritative at all - unless it means that they can use their guns and run red lights.

If I had one complaint, it would be that the film is just a bit too long. Rogen and Hader's subplot, although funny, could probably stand to be trimmed down a bit, as could the party that Seth and Evan go to with Joe LoTruglio's character (I take such joy in spotting alums from The State - which is coming to DVD! - in random comedies). But all in all, it's funny as hell and a great movie with which to end the summer.

Unrelated, Will Forte is on Flight of the Conchords this week! I'm psyched. Although it may be hard to top the idea of a threesome with the boys that was presented in last week's episode...

So Hot, They're Making Me Sexist

What? No, I'm not staying up for the west coast airing of Flight of the Conchords...

...except for the fact that, um, yis (hee), I am.

Also, let it be known that said show has been renewed for a second season.  That leaves an entire off-season (so to speak) to daydream about the boys in nothing but their... business socks.

I <3 Bret and Jemaine

Because I don't think I've written about it yet (even though I've been enjoying it since June):

I don't know how I've lived my life thus far without knowing about Flight of the Conchords. Pretty much the best thing out there. And waaaay better than Entourage. (Yeah, I said it. What now?)

Also, Bret, I want to have your babies.  

Le sigh.

Cake or Death: Eddie or Dane

Recently, I re-watched Eddie Izzard's Dress to Kill special. And obviously, it's amazing. I don't need to say that. If you've seen it, you know how brilliant it is, and if you haven't, you must this very minute. Anyway, on the same day I happened to be basking in the brilliance of Eddie Izzard, I caught a rerun of Dane Cook's Vicious Circle.

I was at the taping of Vicious Circle, which was kind of a big deal. I went with Nikki and a bunch of other people, and we spent quite a bit of money for seats that were not close to the stage.  For someone who is "all about the fans," as Dane frequently says he is, you would think that might be taken into consideration before he charges over $100 for floor seats - at the Comedy Connection in Fanueil Hall, it was $30-ish plus drinks.  

After seeing Dane at the aformentioned Comedy Connection many times, paying $60 for an upper tier seat at the Garden in Boston seemed just didn't seem right. We left the show buzzed on alcohol and laughter, but feeling somewhat underwhelmed. The show just wasn't as amazing as Dane had been in the past, we thought. Maybe we had just seen him so many times that his live shows were losing their thrill. Or maybe that was just the booze. It had been a long week previously, and I just found out I was accepted into the Cannes internship program, so some celebrating was in order.

When I finally saw the Vicious Circle special on TV, I was even more disappointed. Surely, I thought, the show will be better than I remembered. And... it wasn't. There wasn't as much funny in the two hours as there should have been. And so much I had heard before... multiple times at his shows.

Anyway, what I'm getting with all this is that it's kind of difficult to say, but... I think I've outgrown Dane Cook. Which is kind of painful considering the amount of money I spent to see him live over the past 4 years (Three times at the Comedy Connection, twice at BU, and the whopper of a show that was the Garden). But there's something very collegiate about him. And I don't mean collegiate in that argyle sweaters and rich New England family sort of way, but more in the way of boys with unironically flipped collars and backwards Boston Red Sox hats and the girls who love them.  And that's not a scene of which I want (or ever did want) any part.

Maybe it's because I'm done with college - and Dane Cook will forever be inextricably linked to my four years at BU.  Maybe it's because - even as a straight girl - Eddie is way more attractive in his skirts and heels than Dane is in his torn jeans and faux-hipster shirts.  Probably it's because Eddie Izzard is just funnier.  So, sorry Dane, but this is where you and I part ways.  It's not you, it's me.  Really.

Hi, I'm Shallow

Bravo re-ran the latter half of the second season of Top Chef today. I started watching it while I did some baking (I figured it was appropriate background noise) and proceeded to get sucked into watching the rest of the episodes. 

As did my mom.

So we sat around all day watching TC reruns, which, admittedly, made me a bit hungry, and made me depressed again because it made me think of how I couldn't taste my $35 plate of sea scallops and fennel risotto that I had on vacation. Which is neither here nor there.

Anyway, the end of season two has the infamous Marcel/Cliff/Ilan/Elia head-shaving incident, which provoked a discussion as to why I so intensely disliked both Ilan and Marcel (I don't know why any discussion was needed - I thought it was pretty obvious).

"Well," said my mom, "if you didn't like Marcel or Ilan, who did you want to win?"

"Oh, I wanted Sam to win."

"Why is that?"

"Oh... well, uh, Sam's... really hot?"

"And...?"

"Well, being that I can't actually taste his food, that's pretty much all I have to go on. I'm sorry you raised such a shallow daughter."

(Me trying to smirk provocatively always ends up with me looking like an ass.  Maybe that's why I can't land guys...)

Happy Matt Nathanson album day!

Drool x 2

So I came across this on my morning roundup of Yankees blogs:

Just look at those smiles.  The picture certainly made me want to return to dreamland, that much is for sure.  And that security guard back there looks like he's totally checking out Becks' ass.  Wouldn't you?

Vacation: All I Ever Wanted?

I love vacation, I really do.  But there's just something about going to Disney World that doesn't really feel like... well... vacation.  I always find myself coming home from a trip to Florida and thinking... "I need a vacation."

Ah well.

Vacation did tend to overwhelm the awesomeness that was Adam Pascal and Anthony Rapp back in Rent on Broadway, which was simply incredible (and happened to be the day before we left for the trip). And I missed so much while I was in Mickeyland.  The Police playing 3 shows in NYC, Matt Nathanson tickets going on sale, the Yankees making a bunch of roster moves (Mike Myers and Miguel Cairo DFA??), the love of my life Michael Cera (George Michael Bluth)* doing a shitload of press for Superbad...

Tonight's SNL rerun's host is Hugh Laurie.  A hit or miss episode, but when they gave Hugh center stage, it was quite good.  The man's got a sense of humor that's just a bit too classy and sophisticated for SNL these days.  Or maybe I just didn't care because I was too distracted by his attractive self.  And his accent...  

 
*I've decided that this is not inappropriate as he is only three years younger than me.