It's been a while...

Yeah, a hospital visit will do that to you. But I'm feeling infinitely better and ready to rejoin the world of the functioning.

Meanwhile, Stephanie won Top Chef (!), my boy Chase finally appears to have broken out of his slump with four hits last night and Joba to the rotation is looking like the greatest decision ever, no?

Ugh.

Ok, this pretty much makes me want to puke.

For Some Music, It Has to be Wal-Mart and Nowhere Else - New York Times

My Hero

There was a guy at Yankee Stadium today with a sign that said 

"The Mustache: If you grow it, hits will come!"

And he was wearing a fake mustache. It could very well be true love, so dude, if you're out there, I'm single.

ETA: Speaking of true love, heros and mustaches... 

Johnny Damon shaved his, but managed to go 6 for 6 and in the process knock in both the game tying (8th inning) and game winning (9th inning) runs. Never thought I'd say this* but I've come to enjoy his presence on the team. His postgame interviews are my favorite.

*Except for the fact that I did 2 years ago. Ha.

There's always one...

I've recently been listening to a recording of Bruce Springsteen's May 7th benefit show for the Count Basie Theater in Red Bank, NJ, where he played both Darkness on the Edge of Town and Born to Run in their entirety. The performance is phenomenal and I would have loved to attend, but with tickets starting at $500 and topping out well over $1,000, it just wasn't in the cards. Plus, it was the same night as Flight of the Conchords, and how many times in your life do you get 3rd row center seats for New Zealand's 4th most popular folk-parody group?

Bruce's show was apparently a success on all levels - he helped to raise $3 million for renovations to the theater and put on one hell of a show while doing so. But the most interesting thing about the recording is how, aurally, the show didn't seem that much different from your standard $95 + $20 in Ticketmaster convenience fees. Case in point: some guy, even knowing that "Thunder Road" was coming up (as Bruce had just finished Darkness on the Edge of Town and announced Born to Run was next), felt compelled to shout "ROSALITA!" at the top of his lungs, over and over again.

What is it they say about money buying class?

Mustache Twin Powers Activate!

Giambi hits walkoff homer to lift Yankees over Jays

The mustache triumphs over all. 

P.S. What is up with the Rays being such punks? Not that I'm defending the Red Sox, as they obviously have their own internal problems. Are they jealous that they lack a natural rival and are going around the AL East picking fights with the hopes that they'll create one?

All hail the mother-effin' 'stache

Yes, it's the return of the mustache men!

"Actually, I've got a few more guys in this clubhouse -- Johnny Damon and Shelley [Duncan]," Giambi said. "Joba [Chamberlain] has even got one, even though he looks like a fifth grader with his. I even tried to talk [Derek] Jeter into it."

Derek Jeter + mustache = endless comedic potential . You know it.

Why I Need a Real Job

I interrupt the regularly scheduled posting about baseball and movies to pose this question: Where HAVE these shoes been all my life?!?

From the totally awesome brand Irregular Choice. 

Must. Have.

RBI + Puppy + Hotness = Win

I was going to write a constructive post. About the Yankees going 5-1 over their last 6 games and Joba going to the rotation(!) and the Indiana Jones movie kind of ripping off the X-Files movie and how George Lucas wouldn't know a good script if it bit him in the ass and it was all going to tie together quite nicely.*

But then, I decided instead to post a picture of Chase Utley with a puppy, because tonight he went 3 for 6 with a homer, 6 RBI, 2 runs scored and of course, was super hot.

Unrelated, is anyone watching Last Comic Standing? I'm kind of in love with the tattooed guy from Arizona - he had me at the Walken impression. Seriously. Walken impressions are like an aphrodisiac to me. Yes, I know that's weird.

 *I still might write this.

Welcome to Bizarro World

Where the Yankees score a lot of runs off of one of the AL's best pitchers and beleaguered Barry Zito finally gets a victory. Proof of Zito's win (and his fine, fine ass) here.

Flight of the Conchords - Town Hall NYC, May 7

Not to brag or anything, but I've had a stellar run of luck lately with regard to concert tickets. My latest triumph: 3rd row center for Flight of the Conchords at Town Hall in NYC a week and a half ago.

I had been dying to see the Conchords - Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie - in concert ever since seeing their hilarious HBO show for the first time last summer. And as disappointed as I am that the TV show won't be back until January (blame the WGA strike), I suppose it did leave the boys some time to set up a little tour, and I can't complain about the awesomeness of that.

The show was a blast, better, even, than I was hoping. Very loose and fun, and the guys never took themselves too seriously. The setlist was a wrinkled piece of paper that the guys passed back and forth between themselves and they also shared a guitar pick. "We only have one," explained Jemaine, as he passed it to Bret, who then dropped it. Although the audience made many requests (more on that later), they only took one, which was Sellotape. They claimed to not have played it in over a year, but it sounded pretty good. And you've gotta love any song with a drum solo that is sung.

Other standouts were the two new tunes - one, a song with a chorus of Jemaine's ex-girlfriends (of course, sung by Bret), the other about "gettin' freaky," which Bret apparently was still learning and relied on a chord sheet perched precariously on his lap (unintentionally funny) - "Albi the Racist Dragon" (which was setlisted and when someone in the audience started calling out for it, Jemaine pointed to the setlist and said "Maybe later if you're good," or something along those lines), and "Bowie," which is probably my favorite Conchords song, due to my love of DB and desire to say "Wear the funky funky eyepatch, Bret," to people on a daily basis.

Although they ostensibly play themselves on the HBO show, the real Bret and Jemaine are much less awkward than their TV counterparts, and their good looks just don't seem to come through as well on TV as they do in person. Also different from the TV show: Murray does not exist, much to the disappointment of the many audience members who shouted such witty things as "Where's Murray?" to the boys on stage.

In addition to their attempts to summon Murray, the crowd clearly did not believe that this show would be a passive event. They shouted out requests constantly, especially when the guys were doing a bit of between-song banter, which was mildly irritating but not unexpected, especially with alcohol being served at the venue. Someone in the front row brought props to toss onstage for a good two-thirds of the songs, which was a bit overkill, in my opinion. Then there was the girl, sitting towards the back of the orchestra section, who decided to tell Bret that she would have his children during the intro to "Issues." All in all, it was a bit frustrating because the guys kept trying to shush the rowdy crowd and they weren't into shutting up at all. But the guys took it in stride and really put on a great show.

Apparently Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon were at the show (pictures @ brooklynvegan). I'm a bit sad I didn't see either of them - Bull Durham is way up on my all-time favorites list. I mean, I want to be Annie Savoy and screw Nuke LaLoosh! Doesn't every baseball-loving girl who's seen the movie?

Pass the brain bleach?

Teammates have tried Giambi's lucky thong to bust out of slumps

I don't even know what to say. When I first saw this headline (on Deadspin the other day), I really hoped it was thong sandals. Part of me thinks it's pretty funny that Giambi is secure enough with himself to divulge this in an interview but... it's not exactly a pleasant mental image. But Derek? Really? 

Although... "Pitchers need thongs too," is pretty fucking funny. Finding out Moose's whiteboard quote of the day has been one of the few consistently funny things about this season so far.

No More Devil

At what point does it no longer become okay to say "I can't believe we lost to the Devil Rays! I mean, they're the Rays!" Because I think we may have reached it.

Goddamn stupid overachieving AL East.

Wooooooo!

Needless to say, I'm excited. I'll try my hardest to behave myself, being that, you know, I'm in the 3RD ROW. 

He hits for power, average, and...

... he can fly!

Mooooooooose!

We're not booing him, we're yelling Bruuuuuuuuuuce Mooooooooooose! Sorry, wrong aging-yet-still-relevant star, there.

Moose's line today:

6 IP, 7 hits, 1 run, 0 walks, 5 strikeouts 

And he struck out the side in the 6th! Let's give credit where credit is due, with the exception of Boston - and even then, really, with the exception of facing Manny Ramirez - Moose has been pretty good this season.

Barry Barry Bad

I so totally called this: After 0-6 start, Giants move $126M ace Zito to bullpen

I think he'll work it out; I mean the law of averages seems to suggest he will. He always was a bit schizophrenic - I remember him starting the season opener against the Yankees in '06 and giving up 7 runs over not even two innings, but later that year starting Game 1 of the ALDS against Minnesota and giving up 2 runs over 8 innings at the Metrodome against Johan Santana, a game that had been all but conceded to the Twins.

He'll never be that pitcher that won the Cy Young again - that year was a bit of an anomaly even when he was pitching well - but he's smart and, what can I say, I have faith in my hotties.

Yarrrr!

After watching tonight's Yankees game, I am convinced that backup infielder Morgan Ensberg

is actually the same person as

Alan "Steve the Pirate" Tudyk of Firefly and Dodgeball fame. Which would explain why I haven't seen Tudyk in any movies/TV shows lately and why Ensberg was was so funny in his post-game interview today. So congratulations Morgan Ensberg. You will officially be known as Steve the Pirate from here on out.

Road Trip Aftermath

Quote of the weekend:

"Look... more Canada!"

Green Is Not a Primary Color

So yesterday, webmaster extroadinaire Karl Koch of weezer.com posted a few more tidbits about the band's upcoming album, including the cover photo and a press release about its release.

A screenshot of said press release is above (see the full-size thing here), and its description by Karl as "weird" is an understatement. 

I'm not incredibly well-versed in the writing of press releases, but I've read enough of them to know the basic format, and to know that typos and grammatical errors in something like this are completely unacceptable. And I'm pretty sure that most of them do not include links to Wikipedia. Or claim that green is a primary color.

Sunday Night Baseball Follies

I was watching the Mets/Phillies (because, as previously noted, I'm in love with Chase Utley) game on ESPN tonight and caught this little gem regarding Jose Reyes.

Miller: He plays with such joie de vivre--

Morgan: I don't know what that means, but yeah, he has a lot of fun.

Oh Jon Miller and Joe Morgan, dumbly harmless when commenting on any old game, frustratingly biased against the Yankees. 

Speaking of fun, you know what else is fun? Watching Chase Utley go 3 for 3 with two home runs.