Between Tim McCarver, the Chevrolet John Mellencamp "America Rocks!!" commercials, and Dane Cook's grating playoff ads, it's almost enough to put me off baseball.

Alternately, I love the Pepsi commercial with Johnny Damon trying to distract Joe Mauer while he slides into home.

1 out of 52 ain't bad, right?

I have a love-hate relationship with Entertainment Weekly. I've been a subscriber for... 6 or 7 years, more out of habit now, but there's usually only about 1 issue a year that I absolutely LOVE.

This year's one issue came today. On the cover? A cover story on The Office, an interview with Wes Anderson and Jason Schwartzman about The Darjeeling Limited, a profile of Jason Bateman, and a stellar* review of Bruce Springsteen's new album. Plus, no Stephen King column. Score.


*Although it does begin with a lyrical mistake, quoting Thunder Road as "Have a little faith/There's magic in the night" when it's actually "Show a little faith/There's magic in the night." Nitpicky, I know, but it is one of my all time favorite song lyrics.

It's kind of a big deal...

And with a 12-4 win over the Devil Rays, the Yankees clinch their 13th straight postseason appearance.

Fuck yeah.

I was originally looking for a nice, champagne-y picture to commemorate the achievement, but I decided on this one instead...


...in which the look on Roger Clemens' face seems to say, "Mike, I'm going to take you out behind the locker room and have my way with you." Ha.

So we can cross "Yankees Clinching a Playoff Spot" off my list of things that need to happen in the immediate future. Now if we can take care of the Springsteen tickets and the, uh... job (you can see where my priorites lie in that listing), I'll be all set.

Top Chef makes me so goddamn hungry...

Sound the Alarm

I woke up this morning to the alarm on my cell phone, which I've been doing for the past few days. But for some reason, my brain did not process that it was my cell phone and tried - quite unsuccessfully - to get the alarm to stop by turning off my alarm clock. If I had been watching me, I'd have laughed.

Rants and Nonrants

So, two weeks ago I ordered two shirts from Threadless and I finally found out today that there was a problem with my order, so no dice, it's been cancelled and my credit card refunded.  They offered me a $5 coupon to use on my next order, but now instead of getting two shirts for $24 and change (I ordered during their back to school sale), I'm getting one for $16.  :(

Oh well, not really the biggest of deals right now considering the Yankees won tonight and the Red Sox lost, putting the Yankees a mere 1.5 games back from the AL East lead.  Yes, the same division in which they were once 14 games behind.  I applaud the sound guy who played "Don't Stop Believin'" at the Stadium when they put the Boston/Toronto score up on the board.  Heh heh.

Holy F*#&@$g S^#t

The Yankees, thanks in part to a stellar pitching performance tonight on the part of Mike Mussina, are now 2.5 games back from the Red Sox.

If nothing else, we're gonna make 'em sweat.

The Perils of Creativity

While writer's block is in fact, quite painful, it doesn't hold a candle to resting your arm against a just-turned-off (aka still quite hot) iron.  However, said injury is not as bad as the one-inch square of skin near my elbow that I seared on the oven door in LA.

61 in 61

What is it about baseball movies that always makes me emotional? I just finished watching 61* and even though I've seen it many times before, as Roger Maris hit homer number 61, I couldn't help but tear up. Of course, it's kind of ruined with the cut back to steroid man Mark McGwire breaking Maris's record, but still.

Well played, Billy Crystal. Your Yankees love has been put to good use.

After today's unsuccessful attempt to get Bruce Springsteen tickets, I decided to watch the concert DVD that came with the 30th anniversary edition of Born to Run. After all, watching the concert on a big screen TV with our surround sound setup probably gave me a better view (and less hearing damage) than I would have had with the tickets I kept pulling for Madison Square Garden this morning. But more on that in a later installment...

Anyway, that concert is amaaaaaazing. Vintage Bruce and an amazing performance of my all-time favorite Springsteen song "Rosalita (Come Out Tonight)." Sigh. The tickets will be mine. Oh yes, they will be mine.

I was trying to fire Todd but then he did a sad face at me.

I went to see Balls of Fury tonight with Olie.  I had read the script and seen lots of footage at my internship, so I pretty much knew what to expect - a mostly not-so-funny movie with a few touches of genius from Christopher Walken.  Dan Fogler tries to be Jack Black and isn't, and George Lopez just isn't funny.  Walken's over-the-top-ness saves the film from complete and total suckitude, but doesn't quite completely redeem it.

The disappointing thing about Balls of Fury is that it was written by Tom Lennon and Ben Garant, they of Reno: 911 and The State fame.  I think The State is absolutely brilliant, and its spawn Reno: 911 and Stella (the comedy troupe as well as the eponymous Comedy Central show) are about equally as brilliant.  But when these guys try to translate their culty weirdness into mainstream film, it just doesn't seem to work.  Just take a look at Lennon or Garant's IMDB writing resume (they work as a team) - from the wild subversiveness of The State to... The Pacifier, A Night at the Museum (confession: I thought A Night at the Museum was cute, mostly because of Owen Wilson), and the disaster that was Let's Go to Prison?  I'm not begrudging the guys a well-paying gig - god knows a semester in the heart of the industry changed this jaded indie film geek's perspective on what it is to be a working filmmaker/writer/actor - but it would at least be nice to see a little bit of the weirdness that made The State so awesome in the rather bland and not tremendously funny comedies that the guys are writing these days.

There has been, however, talk of a State reunion (outside the fact that all the State members appeared in Reno: 911! Miami and The Ten).  If this is true, I'll be content to believe that they've been saving up all their subversiveness for that.  And I hope it delivers in spades.

You're like a proper band now. You're like the Police... men.

I love The Replacements (the Paul Westerberg fronted band, not the Keanu Reeves movie), and I love Bruce Springsteen, so it would follow that I should also love The Hold Steady, a band that is very much the lovechild of those two.

And I do. 

That is all.

The internets are letting me down

(a) Bruce Springsteen tickets go on sale in 5 days.  Can someone please explain why there is no Ticketmaster page up for the show yet?  I would like to know how much money I'm going to be out sooner rather than later.

(b) I ordered two shirts from Threadless.  They sent me an email saying "Your order has shipped" and providing me with a UPS tracking number.  Except the UPS tracking number says no such order exists.

One Little Spark...

Is there nothing better than inspiration?  I don't even know if this will go anywhere, but from the memory of sitting on someone's basement couch, an idea has been born.  I hope that I can actually (a) finish it and (b) make it not suck.

P.S. In light of recent events, how funny is it to see Mel Gibson make his entrance in Lethal Weapon 2 clad in a straitjacket?  Good stuff.

The Boss

Bruce Springsteen's new single, "Radio Nowhere" is free on iTunes this week, which is pretty cool. What's not pretty cool is what iTunes lists as the most downloaded Springsteen songs.  As of 8/30 the top 5 songs are:

1. Dancing In the Dark
2. I'm On Fire
3. Born to Run
4. Glory Days
5. Secret Garden

Three of them absolutely belong there.  One is questionable, but for the sake of argument, I'll buy it.  And then there is "Secret Garden."  Why why WHY is "Secret Garden" on this list?  I love Bruce, but that is not one of his better songs.  If I'm listening to the "Greatest Hits" album, I will scramble for the remote to prevent myself from being subject to it.  Not to mention the fact that when Jerry Maguire came out, WPLJ played that song with quotes from the film OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.  It's like a pavlovian response - I hear that song and think "Shut up.  Just shut up.  You had me at hello."  UGH.

But anyway, Bruce's new single is pretty good, and I'm psyched about seeing him on tour this fall.  It's pretty much the only thing I'm psyched about right now in my trainwreck of a life.

Michael Cera and the other boys from Superbad were on The Tonight Show.  Cera was so adorably awkward.  I love geeky boys.

Substituting 'folk' for 'fuck' will never not be funny

Dlisted's "Hot Slut of the Day" is none other than...

http://www.dlisted.com/node/14416

Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords.  Folk me.  He's such a sixy man.

*insert obvious "Superbad is Supergood" line here*

You may remember, around 2004, when it seemed that every male on the planet celebrated the 18th birthday of the Olsen twins. And there was a slightly similar, yet slightly less exuberant celebration on the female side when Daniel Radcliffe (he of Harry Potter fame) hit the age of consent.

And yet, even though I find all that just a bit questionable, I definitely took note when Michael Cera turned 18. Cause George Michael Bluth is legal now. Which means it's totally NOT inappropriate that I was crushing on him during Superbad. And I'm totally crushing on Superbad itself. It's smart and dumb, gross and sweet, and altogether incredibly entertaining.

How much can you really say about a movie like this? It's painfully funny, and I don't want to ruin any of the hilarious jokes. Seth and Evan are dorks, but they're real, dimensional dorks. Each and every role is perfectly cast, from Seth, Evan, and Fogel (McLovin!) to the girls they lust after. And Seth Rogen and Bill Hader fit right in as the authority figures who have no desire to be authoritative at all - unless it means that they can use their guns and run red lights.

If I had one complaint, it would be that the film is just a bit too long. Rogen and Hader's subplot, although funny, could probably stand to be trimmed down a bit, as could the party that Seth and Evan go to with Joe LoTruglio's character (I take such joy in spotting alums from The State - which is coming to DVD! - in random comedies). But all in all, it's funny as hell and a great movie with which to end the summer.

Unrelated, Will Forte is on Flight of the Conchords this week! I'm psyched. Although it may be hard to top the idea of a threesome with the boys that was presented in last week's episode...

So Hot, They're Making Me Sexist

What? No, I'm not staying up for the west coast airing of Flight of the Conchords...

...except for the fact that, um, yis (hee), I am.

Also, let it be known that said show has been renewed for a second season.  That leaves an entire off-season (so to speak) to daydream about the boys in nothing but their... business socks.

I <3 Bret and Jemaine

Because I don't think I've written about it yet (even though I've been enjoying it since June):

I don't know how I've lived my life thus far without knowing about Flight of the Conchords. Pretty much the best thing out there. And waaaay better than Entourage. (Yeah, I said it. What now?)

Also, Bret, I want to have your babies.  

Le sigh.

Cake or Death: Eddie or Dane

Recently, I re-watched Eddie Izzard's Dress to Kill special. And obviously, it's amazing. I don't need to say that. If you've seen it, you know how brilliant it is, and if you haven't, you must this very minute. Anyway, on the same day I happened to be basking in the brilliance of Eddie Izzard, I caught a rerun of Dane Cook's Vicious Circle.

I was at the taping of Vicious Circle, which was kind of a big deal. I went with Nikki and a bunch of other people, and we spent quite a bit of money for seats that were not close to the stage.  For someone who is "all about the fans," as Dane frequently says he is, you would think that might be taken into consideration before he charges over $100 for floor seats - at the Comedy Connection in Fanueil Hall, it was $30-ish plus drinks.  

After seeing Dane at the aformentioned Comedy Connection many times, paying $60 for an upper tier seat at the Garden in Boston seemed just didn't seem right. We left the show buzzed on alcohol and laughter, but feeling somewhat underwhelmed. The show just wasn't as amazing as Dane had been in the past, we thought. Maybe we had just seen him so many times that his live shows were losing their thrill. Or maybe that was just the booze. It had been a long week previously, and I just found out I was accepted into the Cannes internship program, so some celebrating was in order.

When I finally saw the Vicious Circle special on TV, I was even more disappointed. Surely, I thought, the show will be better than I remembered. And... it wasn't. There wasn't as much funny in the two hours as there should have been. And so much I had heard before... multiple times at his shows.

Anyway, what I'm getting with all this is that it's kind of difficult to say, but... I think I've outgrown Dane Cook. Which is kind of painful considering the amount of money I spent to see him live over the past 4 years (Three times at the Comedy Connection, twice at BU, and the whopper of a show that was the Garden). But there's something very collegiate about him. And I don't mean collegiate in that argyle sweaters and rich New England family sort of way, but more in the way of boys with unironically flipped collars and backwards Boston Red Sox hats and the girls who love them.  And that's not a scene of which I want (or ever did want) any part.

Maybe it's because I'm done with college - and Dane Cook will forever be inextricably linked to my four years at BU.  Maybe it's because - even as a straight girl - Eddie is way more attractive in his skirts and heels than Dane is in his torn jeans and faux-hipster shirts.  Probably it's because Eddie Izzard is just funnier.  So, sorry Dane, but this is where you and I part ways.  It's not you, it's me.  Really.

Hi, I'm Shallow

Bravo re-ran the latter half of the second season of Top Chef today. I started watching it while I did some baking (I figured it was appropriate background noise) and proceeded to get sucked into watching the rest of the episodes. 

As did my mom.

So we sat around all day watching TC reruns, which, admittedly, made me a bit hungry, and made me depressed again because it made me think of how I couldn't taste my $35 plate of sea scallops and fennel risotto that I had on vacation. Which is neither here nor there.

Anyway, the end of season two has the infamous Marcel/Cliff/Ilan/Elia head-shaving incident, which provoked a discussion as to why I so intensely disliked both Ilan and Marcel (I don't know why any discussion was needed - I thought it was pretty obvious).

"Well," said my mom, "if you didn't like Marcel or Ilan, who did you want to win?"

"Oh, I wanted Sam to win."

"Why is that?"

"Oh... well, uh, Sam's... really hot?"

"And...?"

"Well, being that I can't actually taste his food, that's pretty much all I have to go on. I'm sorry you raised such a shallow daughter."

(Me trying to smirk provocatively always ends up with me looking like an ass.  Maybe that's why I can't land guys...)

Happy Matt Nathanson album day!